Cold season 1, episode 4: Find Susan – Full episode transcript

(Sound of snowplows clearing snow)

Dave Cawley: Snowplows were out in the pre-dawn darkness. A significant winter storm was sweeping across much of the United States on the morning of Monday, December 7, 2009. It dropped snow from the Sierra Nevada to the Great Lakes. A few inches had already fallen on the floor of Utah’s Salt Lake Valley during the overnight. 

Debbie Caldwell was up early, as she always was, preparing for the arrival of her daycare kids. They trickled in, shedding coats and caps, some still rubbing sleep from their eyes. They arrived with red, snotty noses from the sub-freezing cold, in the care of anxious parents who were bracing for a workweek that was starting off with a bad commute.

Debbie marked the time of each arrival on her log. Two of the kids — Charlie and Braden Powell — usually arrived like clockwork at 6:40 a.m. on Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays.

Pick-ups in the afternoons were another matter. Josh, their dad, made a habit of showing up late or not at all. That could be blessing because he made the other parents uncomfortable. They had a nickname for Josh. They called him “rocks for brains.”

Debbie didn’t much care for Josh herself. She also didn’t care for clients who showed up late, but a little delay made sense that morning in light of the weather. She continued with the Monday routine, expecting Charlie and Braden to arrive at any minute. The clock ticked past 7 a.m., then 8. Still no sign of the Powells.

Debbie Caldwell: I was thinking “this is not like Susan” so I, umm, called the house and then, umm, when I didn’t get any phone call at the house I thought “well maybe she was running late to work or something and so Josh dropped her off and he’s running doing something else.” So I called her direct line at her job and didn’t get any answer there. And so then I called his work and they said he hadn’t shown up and so I became a little concerned because the week before, Susan had talked to my husband about how to fix the furnace and change the filters and get the furnace ready to go for the season. And so I became a little concerned that something was wrong and maybe they were in the house and they were suffering from carbon monoxide.

Dave Cawley: Debbie had her hands full, though. Even minus Charlie and Braden, six other kids needed her attention. Some were due at school. She loaded them into her van and hit the road. But concern nagged her. She decided to detour from the school rounds to Josh and Susan’s house. She pulled into the cul-de-sac, her van rolling partway up the driveway of the Powell house, making first tracks in the virgin snow.

Debbie Caldwell: There was no tire tracks coming out of the garage, there was no—

Kiirsi Hellewell: Footprints.

Debbie Caldwell: —footprints. So I pounded on the door and pounded on the door. I didn’t get any answer. So I was on a school run, I had other children that I was caring for and that I needed to get to school so I went back to, to my van and pulled up her emergency contact — it’s on the form. So I called the emergency contact, which was Jennifer Graves and then I went to uh, drop the kids off at school.

Dave Cawley: Jennifer Graves was Josh Powell’s sister.

Jennifer Graves: I woke up kinda feeling a little bit relieved and happy and looking forward to the future because we’d had a really hard year. We’d closed a business that was failing. We’d had some other significant issues with other family members. And that was just very difficult. And we felt like those things were being handled and behind us and we’d, we’ gone through the worst of it. And, and so I was pretty optimistic about the future. And then we got that phone call from Debbie and it was just devastating. Completely threw us for a loop again.

Dave Cawley: Jennifer told Debbie she hadn’t heard from her brother or sister-in-law that morning. She grabbed her kids and her mom, Terrica, and started driving the snowy roads north toward Josh and Susan’s house. Jennifer lived in West Jordan. That’s about a 15-minute drive away on a good weather day from Sarah Circle.  While on the way, Terrica dialed 911. It was 9:53 a.m.

Terrica Powell (from Dec. 7, 2009 police dispatch recording): Umm, the, my son and his wife and their two children haven’t, uh, responded to anything this morning. They normally would go to work and take their children to the daycare two or two and a half hours ago. And they’re not responding to calls and they’re not responding to people pounding on their door and there’s no tracks coming out of their driveway, or there wasn’t a this morning, a little while ago when the daycare lady went over there.

Dispatcher (from Dec. 7, 2009 police dispatch recording): Are they out of town?

Terrica Powell (from Dec. 7, 2009 police dispatch recording): Uh, I haven’t had any, anything from them saying that they’d be out of town and it’s not like them to not call their daycare lady. They’re very dependable. They both work.

Dave Cawley: Like Debbie, Terri worried a furnace malfunction might have filled the house on Sarah Circle with carbon monoxide gas.

Terrica Powell (from Dec. 7, 2009 police dispatch recording): Uh, I’m about five minutes from the house now.

Dispatcher (from Dec. 7, 2009 police dispatch recording): Ok. Alright, I have them notified. They’re going to be enroute. They’re responding to 6252 West Sarah Circle, which is 3935 South.

Jennifer Graves: We arrived before the police and tried to see if we could get into the house. I sent my kids around into the back. Umm, no doors were open, we couldn’t get in.

Dave Cawley: West Valley City patrol officers Jerry Brady and Matt Rhodes were the first to arrive in response to the 911 call. They showed up within minutes, at 10:02 a.m. to find Terrica, Jennifer and her kids out front of the house.

They pounded on the door and shouted. No response. The officers checked all of the doors and windows. All were locked. They attempted to peer into the garage through a window there, only to find it blocked by a blanket. In fact, all of the windows were covered. The blinds in the large bay window on the front of the house seemed to sway, as if blown by hot air rising from of a furnace vent. More evidence of possible carbon monoxide poisoning.

Meantime, Jennifer was going door-to-door in the cul-de-sac, trying to find someone who might have recently talked to Josh or Susan. One neighbor gave Jennifer the name and phone number for Kiirsi Hellewell.

Kiirsi Hellewell: I didn’t have her in my contacts in my phone, I didn’t know who it was but I decided to answer it. And she said “this is Jennifer Graves, Josh’s sister. When’s the last time you talked to Susan?” And I was instantly, had this feeling of dread come over me and I was like “what do you mean? I just talked to her yesterday, we walked home from church together.” And she said “well she’s missing, they’re all missing, there’s no tracks at their house, none of us can find them, they’re not at work.”

Dave Cawley: Kiirsi and Susan were both members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and belonged to the same ward, or local congregation.  Kiirsi told Jennifer about a Facebook post Susan had made on Sunday morning. It mentioned how Josh had won a Flip video camera from his work Christmas party on Saturday night.

Kiirsi Hellewell: And so we were afraid that since he loved taking pictures, maybe he had driven them up to the canyon and they’d gone of a cliff— 

Debbie Caldwell: Or they’d slid and they were stuck in some ravine with the snowstorm.

Kiirsi Hellewell: —or were stuck somewhere and been there freezing all night.

Dave Cawley: The patrol officers were growing more concerned, too. They figured Josh, Susan and the boys were either unconscious in the house or hadn’t been home since the storm started during the night. They called for backup. A sergeant arrived and tried to use a device called a bump key to unlock the door but it didn’t work.

Short of options, the police turned to Terri and asked her permission to break a window. It took some convincing, but she finally agreed. It was 11:39 a.m.

Jessica (from Susan Powell voicemails): Hi Susan, it’s Jessica calling from Back to Health Chiropractic. I did have you scheduled with the boys today at 8:40. We haven’t seen or heard from you so we were just concerned. Hope nothing tragic has happened…

Richard (from Susan Powell voicemails): Hi Susan, Richard Grennan at Aspen. Uh, just looking for Josh and to make sure you guys ok. Uh, we have received a phone call from Josh’s dad I guess…

Mary Estep (from Susan Powell voicemails): Hey, it’s Mary. Umm, Josh’s sister is kind of freaking me out and I’m kind of stressing not hearing from you either so, give me a call…

JoVanna Owings (from Susan Powell voicemails): Hey Susan, it’s JoVanna…

Judy Cox (from Susan Powell voicemails): Hi Susan, it’s mom. It’s Monday in the afternoon, so, December 7th.

Montage (from Susan Powell voicemails): Susan, we’re all worried sick, we need to hear from you… Susan, it’s 10, 5 to 6… Hey Susan, I’m just uh, worried about you and thinking of you… Y’know a lot of us are worried about you. We love you. I hope, I really hope everything turns out ok. If you are ok, please do call me. And I’ll talk to you soon.

Dave Cawley: This is Cold, Episode 4: Find Susan. I’m Dave Cawley.

[Ad break]

Dave Cawley: Those voices you just heard came from messages left on Susan’s cell phone the day she disappeared: December 7th. Let’s go back to that day and to the house on Sarah Circle. West Valley police Sergeant Terrence Chen wriggled through the broken window and found himself in the front room of the Powell house. The first thing he noticed were two fans aimed at wet spots on the carpet and couch. They were what was causing the blinds flutter, not hot air from the furnace.

(Sound of small box fan)

Dave Cawley: A stereo had been left on. It blared a broadcast from a local radio station. Toys were scattered around the floor. Stepping over the mess, Chen came around a loveseat to the front door. He unlocked it, allowing the rest of the officers to enter. They began searching room by room. The upstairs bedrooms were all empty. So was the basement. Checking the garage, the officers noticed the family’s minivan was gone. Terrica and Jennifer came inside to see if anything looked amiss.

Jennifer Graves: While I was at the house I’d had this overwhelming feeling that he’d done something to her already. Because I’d seen her purse there, I’d gone through it.  Her driver’s license, her Sam’s Club card, her temple recommend, they were all in the purse. Why would she walk away without that? Y’know, that just seemed like a very abnormal thing for her to, to do for any significant length of time.

Dave Cawley: Jennifer called Susan’s dad, Chuck Cox.

Jennifer Graves: I don’t know how he felt about that, you know. I was trying to be calm, but I’m not sure if my panic was a little bit apparent or not.

Chuck Cox: I got a call from Jennifer, Josh’s sister, wanting to know if I’d heard from her — Susan. And I said “well no.” “Has she called you? Ok.” And she told me “well, we can’t find her right now.” They don’t know, haven’t heard from the family for Sunday, Monday, whatever. They hadn’t heard from them. I called my wife and asked her if she’d, if Susan’d called her. No, she hadn’t. “Ok.” But I was sure that just, somehow the phone died or whatever it was, something simple. Or they had to take a child to the doctor and we’ll hear from ‘em later today. Of course, that never came.

Dave Cawley: Officer Brady went back to his patrol car and radioed dispatch, asking them to look up a plate number for the missing minivan. They verified it hadn’t been involved in any crashes that morning. Dispatch also contacted local hospitals, to see if Josh, Susan, Charlie or Braden had been admitted. Nothing.

Josh’s mom told police she’d called both Josh and Susan’s workplaces. She gave them the phone numbers. Both Aspen Logistics and Wells Fargo Investments confirmed Josh and Susan had been scheduled to work but both were absent, no-call, no-show.

Brady called both Josh and Susan’s cell phones. Each went straight to voicemail. It seemed less likely with each passing minute that the disappearance was an accident. So, at about half past one in the afternoon, the officers decided to call in a detective.

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: Ellis Maxwell had always wanted to be cop, at least as far back as he could remember. He’d grown up hearing stories about the job from his father’s dad. He saw the uniform and heard tales of heroism. Even as a boy, he’d wanted to be a part of it.

Ellis Maxwell: At the beginning of my career, I was dead-set working for West Valley City police department. A couple of reasons: I had a lot of interaction with them, uh, living in West Valley, good and bad. Y’know, I was a juvenile. I got in trouble a couple of times.

Dave Cawley: Like what?

Ellis Maxwell: I got arrested for possession of alcohol one time. Jesse Cassanata was the officer. He was my school cop and I learned a lot from him. He was a great school resource officer and I learned a ton from him and he’s probably a big contributor as to why I got into police work as well.

Dave Cawley: None of the offenses were serious enough to derail his ambitions. In 1995, while Josh Powell was attending community college, Ellis enrolled in the police academy. He paid his own way, hoping to make himself marketable to a department. If that ended up being his home town of West Valley, all the better. But he knew the odds were against him.

Ellis Maxwell: Because in the academy they told us, ‘look, you may or may not get a job. Like, it’s tough.’ And it was like that. I mean, you’d go interview, or go test somewhere and you’d have hundreds of applicants, at times thousands.

Dave Cawley: Ellis graduated the academy, cleared his certification exams and prepared to enter the world of law enforcement. He sent out job applications. The job market, as the academy had warned, was ver tight. Ellis saw West Valley was hiring. Not the police department, but instead in the city’s code enforcement division.

Ellis Maxwell: So I put in for that thinking ‘hey, get in, get my foot in the door,’ right? Get my foot in the door, do a bang-up job, apply for the police department, transfer over. (Laughs) Sounds pretty easy. Not the case.

Dave Cawley: Code enforcement was not glamorous work. Ellis had to chase down abandoned shopping carts and issue citations for junky yards. But the job kept his certification active. Before long, he took a second job as a reserve officer in the mountain resort town of Park City, home to world-famous ski resorts and the Sundance Film Festival. Working the equivalent of two full-time jobs put a huge strain on Ellis and his young family.

Ellis Maxwell: We had our first child in December of ’97 and so I think it was around the spring of ’98 that uh, they still wanted me to work these hours and I couldn’t and so I quit.

Dave Cawley: His dream remained getting a gig as an actual officer in the West Valley police department. He applied again and again and again. The persistence did lead to an interview, which ended without Ellis getting the job. He reached out to a friend in the department, who told Ellis he was just too soft-spoken.

Ellis Maxwell: So then the next time I interviewed, I didn’t get the job. And so I went to him again. I said “hey, what did I do wrong? How can I become better?” And he told me the same thing, “you’re too soft-spoken.” And I said “that’s what you told me last time.”

Dave Cawley: He applied a third time and cleared the interview, only to be washed out by an out-of-state contractor’s psych evaluation.

Ellis Maxwell: At that point, I was done. I was just, three strikes. I’m fed up. Fed up with the government, the way they operate. I mean, this is just ridiculous.

Dave Cawley: Around that time, Ellis learned Park City was hiring again. He’d enjoyed his time as a reserve officer there and figured joining the active duty force would be a good step up from the drudgery of code enforcement. He quit West Valley, took the Park City job and prepared to move on from his dream of wearing the blues in his boyhood hometown.

Ellis Maxwell: So I was there and, (laughs) well West Valley’s hiring again. So, I was like “alright, give this one more chance,” right? So I put in. I passed the interview but administration in Park City knew I had an interview before I did. (Laughs)

Dave Cawley: Word, it appeared, tended to get around among Utah’s police brass. One of Ellis’ superiors at Park City advised him to tell the chief about his upcoming interview with West Valley. Ellis thought that was a bad idea.

Ellis Maxwell: I’m not going to go to the chief and be like “hey, thanks for hiring me but just to let you know, I’m looking at West Valley and I’ve got an interview with them.” That’s just ludicrous. And so I didn’t and I guess the chief was very upset and from that point forward, my short stint at Park City full-time, it was uh, not good.

Dave Cawley: The chief asked Ellis to resign. He couldn’t understand. He’d done good work for Park City. So he refused.

Ellis Maxwell: And he just, he got pissed and he stood up and he slammed his fist on the desk and “you’re fired!” And I was like “wow, I’ve never been fired before.” So I left and I was driving down the canyon of Parleys and my wife at the time was pregnant and was due in two or three months and I don’t have a job. She was not working. I own a house and, y’know, got all this. I’m like “this is nuts.” And ironically, West Valley code enforcement hires me without a bat of an eye. They give me my pay, they give me my seniority.

Dave Cawley: The experience left Ellis disillusioned. He figured it was time to change course, to go back to school and learn a new trade. Maybe, he thought, he’d go into construction. Then a friend, a retired officer, put a bug in his ear.

Ellis Maxwell: He said “hey, West Valley’s hiring. You should apply.” And I said “I’m think I’m done.” Like, I’m done.

Dave Cawley: No, he wasn’t.

Ellis Maxwell: He talked me into it. And I went into that interview, I didn’t care. Like, I didn’t wear a tie. I wore jeans. I wore a button-down shirt. I didn’t shave. I didn’t do anything polite, like what you’re supposed to. “Please have a seat.” No, I sat down when I wanted to sit down. I answered their questions and then when they said “do you have any questions for us,” I said “no.” I got up and walked out.

Dave Cawley: This was not the same soft-spoken young man who had three times applied and three times been rejected.

Ellis Maxwell: I came out and I was in City Hall and I passed one of the sergeants and they’re like “don’t tell me you just interviewed.” And I was like “yeah.” I said “I don’t care. I mean, a lot of you folks know who I am, my work ethic. If you want to hire me, hire me. If not, screw it.” And I left and I got the job.

Dave Cawley: At last, Ellis had achieved his dream. He was a West Valley City police officer. He made a plan: stay in West Valley and spend long enough on the job to qualify for his police pension.

Ellis Maxwell: So the whole goal was to get in, do 20 years, retire, experience as much of police work as I could. Work as many assignments as I could and uh, if I was still sane, alive, get out.

Dave Cawley: It was September of 2001. As the dust of the Twins Towers settled in New York City, Ellis hit the streets on patrol in West Valley. A year and a half later, he joined the investigations division and became a school resource officer at Granger High. In 2006, the department moved him onto child sex abuse cases.

Ellis Maxwell: So I wasn’t really too thrilled but it was an opportunity to take on a new challenge and I did. And I did that job for almost two years. I left there in 2008.

Dave Cawley: Ellis faced a crossroads. He’d spent enough time in the trenches by that point to qualify for a promotion. He didn’t particularly want to become an administrator, but figured he could make sergeant and ride that rank to retirement. On the other hand, a colleague told him the major crimes division was shorthanded.

Ellis Maxwell: And he’s like “hey, why don’t you come over and join the team?” And I was like “no, absolutely not. I know what you guys do.”

Dave Cawley: Major crimes handled violent cases: robberies, shootings, that kind of stuff. They were also the homicide squad. Ellis’d done enough work over the years supporting major crimes to know it was a stressful gig.

Ellis Maxwell: So I knew what they did, I knew they were busy and I told him “absolutely not.” One, I don’t like the smell of dead people. Two, I like my time off, right? I’m like “I have no desire.” And he kind of kept talking to me about it and talking to me about it. And I kind of thought about it and I thought “maybe, maybe it is a little too early to promote.”

Dave Cawley: Ellis moved to major crimes in May of 2008. He was still there on the morning of December 7, 2009, when a family of four turned up missing.

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: The commute to work that morning was a doozy.

Ellis Maxwell: It dumped at least, I don’t know, eight inches of snow. Started snowing probably about three o’clock in the morning and, and snowed into the commuting hour and uh, there was a lot of snow. And a lot of people, anybody that watched the news, stuff like that, knew this storm was coming in.

Dave Cawley: Ellis made it to work in spite of the weather.

Ellis Maxwell: The morning was just like any other morning. I went into the office, I sat down, I believe I was reviewing a robbery case, a bank robbery case.

Dave Cawley: He hadn’t been at it for long when he was interrupted.

Ellis Maxwell: The sergeant at the time, kind of a boulstery Philadelphian individual, right, opens up the squeaky door, walks in and you can already smell him coming, right? The cologne he wore. And he comes up behind me and he’s like “eh, yo Ellis, what are you doing?” It’s like, “just doing my job, man,” right? “Working on this robbery case.” “Alright, well I need you to go out and help patrol on a missing family.”

Dave Cawley: Ellis picked up the phone and called the patrol officers who were out at the Sarah Circle house. They gave him Josh and Susan’s names, the address and briefed him on what’d happened so far. He spent about an hour just doing research.

Ellis Maxwell: I look and I can’t find anything on these people, right? There’s no criminal history. There’s nothing in our report database. I think there was like a traffic accident like awhile back but nothing serious, right?

Dave Cawley: No signs of prior domestic violence, no 911 calls from the house, no criminal history for either Josh or Susan. Nothing. So, Ellis headed to the house.

Ellis Maxwell: So when I get out there, umm, y’know it’s frigid cold and there’s, y’know, patrol officers everywhere. And there’s, there’s family and friends and neighbors.

Dave Cawley: The patrol officers shared what little they knew. The last anyone had heard from the Powells was about noon the day prior. They hadn’t said anything to anyone about taking a trip. Ellis took a walk inside the house.

Ellis Maxwell: There was no sign of a struggle inside the residence, so there wasn’t like tipped-over nightstands and broken lamps or broken dishes or anything like that. Like, any signs of a domestic violence, like a physical domestic violence. There was no sign of a robbery.

Dave Cawley: All of the doors and windows were secure, with the exception of the glass the patrol officers had smashed.

Ellis Maxwell: There was two box fans that were set up in the front room. One was at one end of the front room, the other was at another end and they were in operation.

Dave Cawley: One of the fans sat across the living room from the couch, against the west wall that separated the living room from the kitchen. The other was by the north wall, near the entertainment center. The two fans were 90-degrees off-axis from another but pointed at the same spot: the foot of the couch.

Ellis Maxwell: Some believe that it was blowing on the carpet. But the reality was it was blowing on maybe the carpet but also the couch. It was very obvious that the couch had been cleaned, where the love seat hadn’t.

Dave Cawley: Ellis poked around a little more. He noticed a Flip camera on a shelf, still sealed in its packaging. It was the prize Josh had won from his work party on Saturday night. There went the theory that the family had gone out to test their new toy. He moved down the hallway to the master bedroom.

Ellis Maxwell: There was a vacuum sitting in the middle of the floor. There was a steam cleaner and more importantly, Susan’s purse is sitting in there and undisturbed. Right? Like, her wallet’s in there, her ID’s in there, her keys are in there. Y’know, after we looked through it you could tell there’s no credit cards missing or anything like that. No cash is missing. She had jewelry in the bathroom and in the bedroom. None of that appeared to be missing. If somebody was going to rob the place, they’re not going to pick out jewelry and then put it back nicely, right?

Dave Cawley: It was all very odd. Ellis called dispatch and had them place Josh, Susan, Charlie and Braden, as well as their van, on NCIC. That’s the FBI’s National Crime Information Center database, a system cops from across the nation use to share information about cases. If officers anywhere in the country encountered the Powell family, he’d hear about it immediately. He made other calls.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 Susan Powell voicemail recording): Hi Susan, this is detective Maxwell with West Valley City police department. If you could give me a call back, I’d appreciate it. You can call…

Ellis Maxwell: I’ve called Susan’s phone, I called Josh’s phone. They both go directly to voicemail. They don’t ring so that’s a clear indication we all know the phones are off.

Dave Cawley: Terri, Josh’s mom, told Ellis she and Jennifer were Josh and Susan’s only relatives in Utah. She alluded to some friction in their marriage but glossed over the details. Kiirsi Hellewell offered a more damning account. As one of Susan’s closest friends, she was privy to more of the couple’s private life. She told Ellis how Susan had struggled to make peace with her husband over his falling away from their religion. She described Josh as controlling and verbally abusive.

Ellis talked to Debbie, the daycare provider, who described how she’d kicked off the whole thing that morning. He talked to Susan’s mom and Josh’s dad, both of whom were in Washington. Judy Cox hadn’t heard from Susan since the prior Thursday. Steve Powell said he’d last spoken to Josh the day before at around noon, when Josh had called asking for a pancake recipe. Both confirmed the couple had not made any plans to visit family in Washington.

One of the neighbors approached Ellis as he sat in his car talking to Josh’s dad.

Ellis Maxwell: And she came and walked over to my car and I kind of had to give her the one finger, like “hold on.” And I finished my conversation with Steve Powell, rolled my window down and uh, she shares with me that she just talked to Josh Powell. … And I thought to myself “ok, I don’t know who you are” for starters, right? And, y’know I’ll be honest with you, I don’t know how much credibility to give this gal. Right? Like, I mean, you’ve got family, friends, the police that have called and left messages and you’re the one that’s talked to Josh Powell. (Laughs)

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: JoVanna Owings didn’t want the spotlight.

JoVanna Owings: I don’t want to be famous for being the last person to see Susan Powell alive, you know.

Dave Cawley: Like it or not, she was. JoVanna’s son Alex had babysat for Josh and Susan the night of Saturday, December 5th, when they went to Josh’s work Christmas party. The next afternoon, on Sunday the 6th, Susan called JoVanna after church.

JoVanna Owings: The blanket that she was working on for one of her boys, the yarn was all messed up and she asked if I could come over and help her with, you know, untangling it. And I said, “sure.” And then, in the background, I could hear Josh saying, “well she could stay for lunch, but we just have enough for her.”

Dave Cawley: JoVanna accepted the invitation. She went over to the Powell house at about 2:45 in the afternoon and sat with Susan in the living room. Josh had Charlie and Braden in the kitchen, where he was making pancakes. When they were ready, he brought Susan and JoVanna their individual servings.

JoVanna Owings: And while Susan and I ate and were talking, he then cleaned up the kitchen, put all the dishes in the dishwasher.

Dave Cawley: Susan noticed her husband doing the chores without being asked — a rare occurrence.

JoVanna Owings: He may have very well been putting on a really good show for me, that uh, he was a loving, caring husband. And I bought it.

Dave Cawley: At one point, Josh even came and draped a blanket around Susan’s shoulders.

JoVanna Owings: I thought that was nice, but you know I’ve seen husbands that act that way, so I didn’t realize that that was not a normal thing for Josh.

Dave Cawley: Susan told JoVanna she believed she’d miscarried the month prior. JoVanna didn’t want to press and decided to ask her about it later, when the boys were out of earshot.

JoVanna Owings: Then she said she was, she was feeling tired. And I thought, “well that’s perfectly natural.” She’s going all week long and if she did miscarry then she’ll be a little tired-er. Anyway, so she said she was going to go, umm, just lie down for a little bit in, in the bedroom. And I was like “ok, that’s fine.”

Dave Cawley: It was about 4:30. JoVanna kept working on the tangled yarn. Josh told her he was going to take the boys sledding. JoVanna was focused on the knot and didn’t take the hint.

JoVanna Owings: And then he says, “well I really need to lock the front door when I leave.” And then I got it and was like, I should probably leave then. So I cut the yarn and took the uh, messed up yarn home to untangle. And I said, “well, I should have this finished by this evening.” And, and he said, “well, there’s no hurry just give it to her on Tuesday, on her day off.” And I was like “ok, fine.”

Dave Cawley: At about 5:30, JoVanna watched Josh pull out of the driveway in his minivan with both Charlie and Braden in their carseats. Then, she went home. JoVanna received a text message from her neighbor Kiirsi Hellewell the following afternoon, on Monday, December 7th. It said no one had seen or heard from Josh, Susan or the boys since noon on Sunday.

JoVanna Owings: I knew that that was wrong because I’d been there that afternoon and had left early evening.

Dave Cawley: JoVanna had Josh’s cell phone number because her son Alex sometimes babysat the Powell boys.

JoVanna Owings: So I called Josh on my phone and he didn’t answer. And then my son called him on his phone and Josh answered. And he, my son immediately hung up. And I said, “why did you do that? Everyone is worried about where they are. Call him back.”

Dave Cawley: Cell phone logs would later show it was 3:02 p.m.

JoVanna Owings: He called him back and Josh answered and he handed the phone to me and I said, “Josh, where are you? Everybody’s worried. Nobody’s seen Susan. They said she didn’t go to work. You need to get home.” And so he said he was out south and he’d be home soon. And I was just like, “ok whatever.” And we hung up and that was that.

Dave Cawley: JoVanna shared all of this with Detective Maxwell, letting him know Josh and the boys were back.

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: But there was no word about Susan. Josh’s mom and sister Jennifer had left Sarah Circle and gone home by that point.

Jennifer Graves: We were just honestly a little bit in shock, numb, not knowing what to do, and we just sat around waiting.

Dave Cawley: Jennifer’s phone rang just before 5:30 p.m. The caller ID showed it was Josh. She answered and shouted into phone, asking Josh where he’d been and if Susan was with him. Josh said he was at work and he had the boys. They were fine. Jennifer said she knew that wasn’t true. He wasn’t work. Ok, alright. Josh admitted he’d taken the boys camping but said they’d been stranded by the snowstorm.

Jennifer asked again “where’s Susan?” Josh said she was at work. Again, Jennifer challenged the lie. She told Josh Susan had not gone to work. Her voice climbed and she shouted “where is she?”

“I don’t know,” Josh shouted back. Then, he asked “what do you know?”

The question caught Jennifer off guard. She was afraid her brother had done something terrible.

Jennifer Graves: So that feeling had just come over me while I was at the house. And when he’d called that night, it was disturbing. Disturbing to talk to him and to realize that that premonition was actually valid.

Dave Cawley: Jennifer lowered her voice, fighting to keep her composure.

Jennifer Graves: Ok, I don’t actually want him to run. He has two innocent little babies with him. And I, y’know, I wanted them to make it back. Y’know, we wanted them. And so I backed off. I calmed down (laughs) and I just kind of gave him a little bit of the gist of the situation: “there’s a cop at your house, we broke the window, they’re guarding the house.” Basically, I wanted to make it sound as benign as possible. And so “let’s meet there” y’know and uh, and “we’ll see where to go from there.”

Dave Cawley: Josh agreed to return home. Jennifer grabbed her coat, went to the car and drove back to Sarah Circle. Along the way, she called Ellis and told him what’d happened. They met outside of the Powell house, expecting Josh to join them. Minutes ticked by with no sign of the family’s blue minivan. Ellis dialed Josh’s number but he didn’t answer.

Jennifer Graves: We’re all sitting in that circle in our vehicles just waiting, and finally Ellis comes over and is like, y’now, is like “why don’t you just give him a call?” (Laughs)

Dave Cawley: Jennifer did, then handed her phone to Ellis. It was 5:48 p.m.

Ellis Maxwell: And he answers and I tell him, y’know identify myself and tell him “Josh, you need to come home.” And I verify with him, “is Susan with you?” “No, she’s at work.” “Ok, well you need to come home. We have been at your home now for eight hours, nine hours, whatever. You need to get here.” … Josh replies “I need to go feed my kids, we need to go get” — and then he ignores me and starts asking his kids, “kids what do you want? Do you want pizza, do you want hamburgers?” And at this point I’m really frustrated because he is, he just has that “I don’t care attitude,” right? And so I tell him, I said, and I was more I guess forceful with my words and I told him “you need to come to the house.” Like, “you need to come here now, your kids can eat here, but you need to get here.”

Dave Cawley: Josh said “ok.” Ellis asked how soon he’d arrive and Josh said he wouldn’t be long. But Josh didn’t show up until about 6:40 p.m., almost an hour later.

Jennifer Graves: So, Josh is just taking his sweet time. I think uh, I don’t even know what was going through his head. But he, y’know, he was getting the kids food. And I, y’know, bbut how long does that take? Stop at McDonald’s and grab them a bite to eat so they aren’t starving and screaming. And there are cops at your house. Doesn’t that feel a little urgent?

Dave Cawley: More than three hours had elapsed since Josh had first made contact, answering the call from JoVanna’s son. Ellis met the minivan as it rolled to a stop in the cul-de-sac.

Ellis Maxwell: He clearly can’t get into his driveway with all the cop cars and everything and I approach the passenger side of the, the vehicle and he rolls down the window and I ask him, y’know, “where the hell have you been” right? Like, “I talked to you an hour and a half ago.”

Dave Cawley: Ellis caught a whiff of grease and pepperoni.

Ellis Maxwell: He’d stopped at Little Caesar and bought ‘em pizza. … I asked him why he hadn’t returned anybody’s phone calls, why he hadn’t been answering his phone. He told me it was off and I asked why his phone was off. He said he was trying to preserve the battery ‘cause he didn’t have a charger. And at this time as I’m talking to him looking in his vehicle, there’s a charger that’s plugged in. So, there’s a couple of cues, y’know, that are there but at the end of the day, it’s not enough that you can put handcuffs on him and say “ok, we’re going to jail.”

Dave Cawley: Ellis told Josh they needed to talk. He asked him to drive over to the police department’s west side substation, just a few blocks up the road. He didn’t want to give Josh any other opportunity to delay.

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: At the substation, Ellis set out a digital audio recorder and got right to the point.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Do you know where Susan’s at?

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Hmm.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): No?

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): No.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): When’s the last time you seen her?

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Probably about midnight of last night.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Where at?

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): At home.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): What was she doing? What was she wearing? Where was she at in the house?

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Umm. (Clears throat) She was wearing… (long pause) …she was just wearing something comfortable.

Dave Cawley: That’s the actual recording of the interview. As you can hear, Josh wasn’t very forthcoming.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): And obviously, everybody’s concerned. Everybody’s worried about all four of you. I mean we started getting phone calls at 10 o’clock this morning.

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): I apologize. I didn’t even know that was happening, I apologize. That, umm, like I say, we got snowed in and there’s just no cell service so it killed my phone, y’know?

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Mmhmm.

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): It just tries harder and it dies, y’know?

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Mmhmm.

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Umm, in fact, I actually turned it off to try to save the battery.

Dave Cawley: Ellis made note of the “battery” excuse again, but didn’t call attention to it. Instead, he asked Josh to describe everything that’d happened over the last 48 hours. Josh said Susan had gone to church with the boys on Sunday, then returned home around noon. He went to the grocery store to buy stuff for lunch. Susan invited JoVanna to come over while he made pancakes and omelets.

He said Susan had taken a nap after lunch. JoVanna stuck around until about 5:30. Here, Josh’s and JoVanna’s stories diverged. Josh claimed he remained home when JoVanna left, contradicting her eyewitness account that Josh left the house at the same time with both boys.

He told Ellis he was home at about 6:30 when Susan woke up, ate a hot dog dinner and then settled down for another nap with Braden. At that point, Josh said he took only Charlie sledding.

They came back at about 8, at which point Josh read a book to Charlie and put him to bed. Then Susan gave him a chore to do, at 10 p.m. on a Sunday night.

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): She wanted me to clean the couch, so I did and then we watched…

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): What do you mean by clean the couch?

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Just get rid of all the kid’s goobers and stuff.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): So like, what? With a washcloth or something or an upholstery cleaner?

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Umm actually, I have a Rug Doctor.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Ok, so you used the Rug Doctor and cleaned the couch?

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Yeah.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): ‘Kay.

Dave Cawley: The Rug Doctor, the same one Ellis had seen in the master bedroom that afternoon. Josh said he’d set up the fans in order to dry the couch after cleaning it, to keep mildew from forming. Ellis wanted specifics about the camping trip. Josh told him Susan had known about it and was okay with it.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): ‘Kay. And where did you drive to, you said Pony Express?

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Umm, well I started heading south through Tooele and just turned onto the Pony Express.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Mmhmm. And that’s, how far down the Pony Express did you go?

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Not very far. (Pause) Maybe 20 miles, I don’t know.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Twenty miles on the Pony Express?

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Maybe.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Ok, did you just stop on the side of the road or stay on the road when you went down there? Is that where you just drove straight to from your house?

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Pretty much, yeah.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Pretty much. Where’d you stop in between?

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Well, I mean no, that’s it.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Well, pretty much I mean that’s—

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Sorry. (Nervous laugh)

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): —I mean “pretty much” means you stopped somewhere else. So—

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): No, I, I, I don’t, I just went straight there.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): You drove straight to the Pony Express? Ok.

Dave Cawley: Josh’s answers were all but useless.

Ellis Maxwell: Any time I would ask him certain questions, the answers I got was “I don’t know,” “I don’t remember” or it was silence or he would try to deter the conversation a different direction. Such as when we sat down in the west side precinct there and he would turn his attention to his kids to avoid questioning.

Dave Cawley: Charlie and Braden continually interrupted.

Ellis Maxwell: Yeah, it was definitely a mistake on my end. I should have left those kids with Jennifer and Terrica.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Stuff like that.

Charlie Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Daddy, do you have paper money?

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): (Clears throat followed by annoyed chuckle)

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Charlie, we’re not going to buy pop out of that machine.

Ellis Maxwell: We did get a domestic violence advocate to eventually sit down and kind of entertain the kids but Josh was not pleased with that and it diverted his attention even more.

Dave Cawley: But what else could they do? Josh wasn’t under arrest and didn’t have to be there. Forcing the issue with the boys might have ended the interview.

Ellis Maxwell: The last thing I want is him to not talk to me.

Dave Cawley: So Ellis dealt with the situation as best as he could.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): So when you got to your destination 20 miles, possibly 20 miles down the Pony Express, what uh, did you stay on the road, did you pull off on the side of the road?

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): No, they have trails that you can drive on. And—

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Mmhmm.

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): I mean, I just found one. And—

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): How far off the trail did you go?

(Long pause)

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): I don’t know, a mile or something, I don’t know.

Dave Cawley: Josh told Ellis he’d mixed up the days in his head, that when he’d left on Sunday night he thought it was Saturday. He realized the mistake only after waking on Monday morning. By then it was too late to call his work and beg forgiveness.

Upon realizing the mistake, he drove around aimlessly for hours, to exactly where he couldn’t say, only stopping to make a fire so the boys could roast marshmallows.

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Well, we drove further out the Pony Express—

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Mmhmm.

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): —umm to that campground—

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): ‘Kay.

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): —and we turned around.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): ‘Kay.

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Umm, when it got old, we drove back.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): When what got, when what? When it got old?

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Yeah, I mean when we’d had our fill, when we were done. Well, the boys weren’t done but I was done.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Mmhmm.

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): So, then we drove back.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): What time was that at?

(Long pause)

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): I don’t know, maybe 2.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): That’s when you started coming back home?

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Yeah.

Dave Cawley: On the way home, he stopped at a carwash in the city of Lehi. That didn’t make a whole lot of sense. The roads were still covered in salt, slush and grime from the snowstorm. Ellis wanted to know which carwash but Josh said he wasn’t sure. After washing the car, Josh said he drove north to Susan’s work.

They only had the one car so Josh typically took Susan to work each morning and sometimes picked her up in the afternoon. They only had the one car. He couldn’t explain how she might’ve made it to work that morning, considering that he had the minivan out in the desert.

Ellis asked Josh about his marriage.

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): I mean, y’know, it’s pretty good. I mean… (Pause) We sometimes have disagreements but—

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): ‘Kay.

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): —y’know.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Everybody has disagreements, right?

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): I think so.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): So nothing—

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): It’s not like, it’s not like we get into screaming fights or anything.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Yeah?

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Well, not usually. It’s happened a couple of times—

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Yeah.

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): —but, y’know, it’s very, very rare.

Dave Cawley: Oh come on. That was not true. Ellis held his cards close, not revealing the stories he’d already heard from Kiirsi, Jennifer and others.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): You guys only have one—

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): We see a counselor.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): What do you see a counselor, the, what do you see a counselor for?

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Umm…

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Like a marriage counselor?

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Yeah, just a marriage counselor. Just, y’know, working out issues.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): What kinds of issues are those?

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Umm. (Pause) Well uh… (Pause) I mean, frankly she has kind of a temper.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): ‘Kay.

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Umm, and I guess sometimes I’m lazy.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): ‘Kay. So that led you guys to marriage counseling?

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Yeah, and I wasn’t going to church. Apparently it bothered her a lot so, so I’ve been going to church.

Dave Cawley: Ellis asked Josh to name his wife’s closest friends. His first answer was Debbie, their daycare provider. He offered a few other names, including Linda from Susan’s work. He didn’t know, or didn’t want to offer, Linda Bagley’s last name.

Ellis Maxwell: Which makes it challenging, right? ‘Cause you can’t challenge his answers ‘cause he’s not giving you too many lies, if any, just “I don’t know, I don’t remember.”

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Let me tell you something. I mean, you’re kind of being helpful but you’re not being helpful ‘cause I’ve been married and I know who, I mean I could tell you who my wife’s closest friends are.

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Umm, she’s talked to—

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): You know what I’m saying? And I actually know who her closest friends are and you’re telling me that you can’t tell me?

Dave Cawley: Ellis’ reserve of patience had run dry.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): First we’re taking a report at 10 o’clock—

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Well, I think she would go to work.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Alright, well she didn’t go to work, dude.

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): I mean, I think she would try to go to work.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): ‘Kay well, she didn’t even try to go, well I don’t know. She didn’t go to work. She wasn’t at work. She didn’t go to work at all today. So…

(Long pause)

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Seems like she would have gotten up, gotten ready.

Ellis Maxwell: It was super frustrating because as a detective, you obviously want them to answer truthfully, ideally. You want them to answer truthfully, you want ‘em to confess. Those are the things you want. It doesn’t happen. They’re gonna lie. And when they do provide those lies, you tuck it away and you later bring it back up. Right? You let ‘em tell their story and then bring it back up and go “ok, look this answer doesn’t fit and this is why.” And he wouldn’t allow that.

Dave Cawley: Ellis had never encountered someone quite like Josh in his career. Nothing he tried seemed to shake him.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Where’s her cell phone at?

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): I don’t know.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): You don’t know where her cell phone is? Ok.

Dave Cawley: Did you catch the doubt in Ellis’ voice there? Remember that, it will prove important in just a moment.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): So what are you thinking? What do you think I should, where should I start looking? What should I start doing? What do you think I should do?

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Do you have a, do you have a line to the hospitals?

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): It’s already been done.

(Long pause)

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): I don’t know, I’ve never dealt with this.

Dave Cawley: That was about the closest Josh came to expressing emotion. But he didn’t ask for Ellis’ help finding Susan. He didn’t offer any ideas on where she might have gone, either. They were getting nowhere. Ellis cut to the point.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): You didn’t take her out to Pony Express with you guys?

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): No.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): And the last time you seen her was at midnight last night.

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): It was after midnight, yeah.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): And you haven’t seen her or talked to her since.

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): No.

Dave Cawley: Straight answers, at last. But were they the truth?

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Ok, well I want to check, I want to check your van. Can I check your van? Can I search it?

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Search it? Like—

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Mmhmm.

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): I guess so.

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Well, it’s yes or no. That’s why I’m asking.

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): I mean, you’re just saying look through it?

Ellis Maxwell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Mmhmm.

Josh Powell (from December 7, 2009 police interview recording): Yeah, I mean, I think so.

Ellis Maxwell: He’s reluctant, he’s hesitant. Y’know “what are you looking for, why do you need to do this?” And y’know, I explain to him “look, it’s just protocol, man.” Like, “your wife’s missing. You’ve been gone and you don’t know where she’s at. We need to look in your van.”

Dave Cawley: Ellis gave Josh a consent form, which he signed.

Ellis Maxwell: He does with the agreement that he will stand by and stop us at any time. So, you gotta do what you gotta do. And uh, so he signs and we go out and we start looking through his van.

Dave Cawley: Ellis and his partner Gavin Cook lifted the tailgate and opened all the doors. Josh plopped down in the driver seat. A blue plastic tarp was spread across the floor in the back, as if to keep the carpet clean. On the left, were tools, including a wood-handled shovel, a rust-flecked metal rake and a yellow-bristled broom. Next to those sat a humidifier and a dusty plastic tote…

Ellis Maxwell: Totes that have just ridiculous amounts of unopened camping equipment that you would find in Kmart or Walmart.

Dave Cawley: In the tote were a poncho, a mylar emergency blanket, a tablecloth, tent stakes — but no tent— toilet paper, a mosquito coil and a multi-tool, among other knick-knacks. You can see a picture of all this at thecoldpodcast.com.

To the right of the tote was a blue plastic toboggan. Stacked inside it were an orange heavy-duty extension cord, an electrical circular saw, a razor box-cutter and a folding hand saw. By the sled and in front of the tote were a red, five-gallon plastic gas can and a Yamaha gas-powered generator.

Ellis Maxwell: This guy has all kinds of stuff back there.

Dave Cawley: In the rear passenger seats, the detectives found a comforter from a queen-size bed and other blankets, as well as extra clothing for Charlie and Braden. A storage compartment behind the driver’s seat held a box of blue nitrile gloves.

The front passenger seat was covered with clutter. A half-empty box of graham crackers sat in the footwell, along with a scarf which Susan had likely crocheted. A red onesie covered with Scooby-Doo characters was draped across the center console, between the two front seats, along with a camera bag.

Ellis Maxwell: But the most interesting thing that was discovered is in the console. … So when you open the console in this minivan, there’s like a tray, right? So you can put some change or small items. Well if you remove that tray, the console goes much deeper and you can put bigger items in there. … And we find a pink Motorola cell phone.

Dave Cawley: “Who’s phone is this?” Detective Cook asked. He held it up for both Josh and Ellis to see.

Ellis Maxwell: And he looks and he is like a deer in the headlights and he, he just, he can’t speak. And he says, he doesn’t say anything. And then I say to him, I’m like “Josh, why do you have Susan’s cell phone?” And he’s like “umm,” and he starts stumbling. He’s like, he says something to the effect of “well, I borrowed her phone, I borrowed her phone yesterday because I needed cell phone numbers, I needed cell phone numbers out of it and I must have put it in my pocket and forgot.” (Laughs) Just the most ridiculous answer ever.

Dave Cawley: Why was it ridiculous?

Ellis Maxwell: Hypothetically, if this is truthful, you would have known that you had it and you put it in the console. So if you did leave it in your pocket, at some point you pulled it out of your pocket and you put it, and you buried it in the console. Like, you didn’t just set it on top, you didn’t just leave it sitting in the car, you didn’t put it in the jockey box. You buried it in this console.

Dave Cawley: Not only that, but Josh had twice called Susan’s number just that afternoon to leave her voicemails. Why would he do that if he knew he had her cell phone? Josh said he’d forgotten it was there.

I asked Ellis why he didn’t arrest Josh right that moment.

Ellis Maxwell: Yeah, why isn’t that enough? Umm, y’know, you can’t, you can’t go into a courtroom and, and stand on the bench and tell, uh, the defense attorney that “hey, we have a no body situation here. We have her cell phone. The husband was in possession.” Nah, it’s not gonna fly. There’s no way. You’ve gotta be able to prove that he is responsible for either murdering her or kidnapping her or he’s responsible for her disappearance. And being in possession of a cell phone, y’know, just not gonna fly.

Dave Cawley: He said it’s different with two strangers. Having some random person’s cell phone after they disappear could well be enough evidence. But Josh and Susan were husband and wife. A defense attorney could spin any number of scenarios to explain away Josh having the cell phone.

Ellis Maxwell: Also, you’ve gotta take into consideration that they had one vehicle.

Dave Cawley: Frustrating as it was, Ellis handed Josh the keys to the van. Josh gathered the boys, loaded them into their carseats and drove home. Ellis followed him to the house and had him do a walk-through to make sure nothing was missing. Josh said everything looked fine.

It was about 9:30 p.m., nearly 12 hours since Josh’s mom had first called 911. Looking back, Ellis regrets not writing a search warrant for the house and minivan that night.

Ellis Maxwell: Myself and the sergeant and my partner that was assisting at the time, y’know, we discussed it. It’s like, y’know, “can we get a search warrant right now?” And the decision was no. Let’s have him come back in the morning and do another interview and go from there.

Dave Cawley: It was a judgement call, arguably the wrong one. To this day, Ellis isn’t sure serving a warrant that night would have changed anything.

Ellis Maxwell: But it was a learning experience as well because I’ll tell you what, from that day forward if I questioned if I needed a search warrant for a residence or a home, I wrote it. And I submitted it. We’ll let the judge make that decision.

Dave Cawley: Ellis handed Josh his card, told him to find a babysitter for the boys and meet him at police headquarters for a follow-up interview in the morning. Josh said “ok” and agreed to be there by 9 a.m.

Ellis had learned his lesson about Josh using his sons as a distraction. He repeated that Josh should make immediate arrangements with Terri or Debbie, the daycare provider, to take the boys. But Josh did neither. Debbie, it turned out, had stopped by the house while Josh was at the substation.

Debbie Caldwell: I went back and there was a police car in the driveway just sitting there. And I guess what happened is that they were, they, once they broke the window, they had to keep the property secure. And so they hadn’t said anything to me so I contacted Jennifer the next day and she was the one that told me Josh had come back with the boys. And I said “oh, they’re ok then” and she said “well, I’m not sure, Susan wasn’t with them.” And I’m like “what do you mean, Susan’s not with them?”

Dave Cawley: Susan’s friend Kiirsi could not believe it, either.

Kiirsi Hellewell: And I found out sometime around 9 or 9:30 Monday night because a neighbor of his called me and they said “Josh is back.” And I said “oh thank goodness, are they ok” and she said “well, he and the boys are there but Susan isn’t” and I immediately said “what did he do?” That was my first thought, what has he done.

Dave Cawley: On the next episode of Cold…

Ellis Maxwell (from December 8, 2009 police interview recording): Your children are telling our detectives that, uh, mom went with you guys last night and that she didn’t come back.

Cold season 1, episode 3: Faith and Finances – Full episode transcript

Dave Cawley: Susan Powell’s 27th birthday was, by most any estimation, a disaster. She arrived home from a long day at work at 10:30 p.m. to find her house a mess. Toys and clothes belonging to her two young sons were scattered about the living room. Dirty dishes — measuring spoons and sippy cups — decked the kitchen counter. The cake her husband had baked sat unfrosted next to them. Batter splattered onto the vinyl floor was slowly drying into a crust.

Josh Powell sat at his computer watching Saturday Night Live clips on the internet. The 2008 presidential election loomed in less than a month. He loved the sketches that lampooned GOP running mates John McCain and Sarah Palin. He took pride being blue in the red state of Utah and often started political arguments with his conservative neighbors.

When his wife came through the door, exhausted from a 10-and-a-half hour shift on the phones at Wells Fargo Investments, he suggested she go into the kitchen and finish frosting her cake. Instead, Susan cleaned. She wiped up the spills. She put away the toys. At least, she reasoned to herself as she plunged her hands into soapy dishwater, her good-for-nothing husband had managed to put the kids down to bed.

The next morning, Susan took three-year-old Charlie and one-year-old Braden to a small neighborhood carnival put on by her church. She returned home to find the cake, at last, frosted. Josh presented her with the gifts he’d purchased. He handed one to Charlie to give to Susan, and mumbled “you better not complain because I spent money on this.”

She opened the present and was instantly disappointed. It was a small white board calendar, the kind of thing you hang on the refrigerator and fill in with appointments and reminders using a dry-erase marker. It had a lavender background, emblazoned with flower graphics. The edges were finished with a plastic that’d yellowed to the color of custard, as if it had sat for months in a bargain bin.

Deflated, Susan handed her toddler a $25 gift card she’d won at work and told him to give it to Josh. Instead of receiving gifts on her birthday, she was giving them.

“Happy birthday, from mommy to daddy and the house,” Charlie said. 

Resentment festered in Susan. Her husband never hesitated to spend money on himself but he nitpicked every dollar she spent. He’d even locked her out of their joint bank account.

Linda Bagley: If she went to the store and bought some yogurt and he’s like “oh it’s $.50 less here or $.05 less here,” he’d chew her out and be upset and then he’d change the passwords so she couldn’t get back in there. Just things like that. And so she did things behind his back.

Dave Cawley: That’s Linda Bagley, one of Susan’s closest work friends. She’s never shared her story publicly before now.

Linda Bagley: They had bought this case of chili because it was such a good price but she was so tired of eating chili for lunch. So, I came in and I had the, the little $.33, $.50 cup of noodles. She had taken one out of my drawer and put a can of chili in there. It says “trade.” The can of chili was probably more expensive of the little cup of noodles but she was just so tired of the chili because they got a good deal on it and they had so much, they had to eat it, y’know? (Laughs)

Dave Cawley: Two days after Susan’s letdown of a birthday, she and Josh paid a visit to the home of Josh’s sister, Jennifer Graves. Josh’s mom, Terrica, gave Susan a bath robe, of which she already owned three. Josh handed her another small present as well, raising her hopes. Maybe, just maybe, he’d secretly held something back to make it a surprise.

She tore off the gift wrap and found a pair of DVDs. They were religious videos, available for next to nothing through their church. A few days later, Susan vented to a friend about the letdown in a Facebook message. Here’s what she wrote.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from October 20, 2008 Facebook message): Cheap white board and the DVDs probably cost a buck each! I actually asked him why he liked to torment me by acting like it’s not important and dragging things out – HUGE letdown.

Dave Cawley: Over the years of their marriage, Susan had become quite used to receiving underwhelming gifts.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from October 18, 2008 Facebook message): He’s given me chocolate, stuffed animals, a glass vase with fake flowers… a peridot necklace for Christmas 2006 (I know it must have been on clearance/cheap – who buys that unless you have an August birthstone)… I think the cake mix/frosting cost the same as my actual present. … Wow, I’m bitter.

Dave Cawley: She had good reason to be. Yet, she swallowed her hurt and mounted the white board calendar on the side of the refrigerator. Susan excelled at making the best of a bad situation.

Susan Powell (from February, 2001 audio journal recording): Josh is mean to me but only because I was mean to him and then he was mean back to me so I was mean to him more. And now he’s being mean to be again. But I still love him, even though he won’t kiss me. Maybe I’ll be nice and make dinner. Maybe. Maybe I’ll let him take pictures of me with his new Maxxum 7 he’s getting. Maybe. And maybe he’ll deserve and earn and actually get his Valentine’s Day gift. Maybe. Depends what he does for me. (Pause) I love him.

Dave Cawley: This is Cold, Episode 3: Faith and Finances I’m Dave Cawley.

[Ad break]

Dave Cawley: Bubbling bitterness in Josh and Susan’s marriage went from a slow simmer to a full, roiling boil during 2008. Case in point, this October entry in Susan’s journal.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from October 5, 2008 journal entry): I feel like a prisoner in my own family, fighting to practice my own religion and beliefs in my own home. … I can’t believe our marriage deteriorated so quickly! I feel so blind and naive and foolish. I cherish my boys but realize they’ll grow up and move on.

Dave Cawley: Josh found a part-time job doing web development for a trucking company called Aspen Logistics. Though he had no formal training in the field, he’d taught himself enough to do the work. He dabbled in web design in his free time as well, even forming a company: Polished Marketing, LLC. When his younger brother Michael ran for a seat in the Washington State legislature in 2008, it was Polished Marketing that built the campaign website. Mike ran as a Democrat and actually made it through the primary before losing in the general election.

Josh’s company didn’t do much business. The only item listed on the Polished Marketing website’s portfolio was a site Josh’d built for a community Cinco de Mayo celebration. In other words, his side hustle was a flop.

Susan brought home the lion’s share of their income. Josh insisted her paycheck be deposited into a joint account, to which he alone controlled access. She’d gone along with this approach throughout their marriage, but started to push back in 2008. She set up a personal account in secret and started diverting small portions of her check there. She used that money to pay tithing, to buy food for her boys and to pay down a debt owed her parents.

Josh and Susan frequently fought over faith and finances. She had a quick temper and often sniped at Josh. She urged him to help care for their two boys or to help clean up around the house. She nagged him about not living up to his religious vows. Josh and Susan were members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Josh had quit attending church meetings three years earlier. Susan had kept on, only to have her husband mock her faith.

He called her names, chastised her for spending money and refused to touch her for months at a time. Susan complained about Josh to anyone who would listen. Here’s what she said in one Facebook message to a friend.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from August 15, 2008 Facebook message): He is mainly emotionally, verbally, and financially abusive… Basically, I’m a single mother with this guy that lives with me and dictates to me what I can do in my spare time and takes my paycheck and spends the money.

Dave Cawley: Susan wondered if she was going crazy. At times, she thought Josh might be bipolar, like his brother John. Johnny was at that time living in a group home in Washington State. Other times, Susan questioned if she might be experiencing a clinical depression. She sought counseling, but felt it wouldn’t do much good if Josh wouldn’t agree to take part as well. He went once or twice and then gave up.

They argued about everything, like which kind peanut butter to buy because of a price difference of a few pennies per ounce. Their disagreements tended to explode into shouting matches. They fought in public, in front of friends or even the babysitter. Susan sometimes coped by walking away. She’d go to a friend’s house and spend a few hours cooling off, but that approach didn’t always work.

During one argument, she slapped Josh. He didn’t strike her back, but warned it would be the only time he’d restrain himself. Susan told a friend in a Facebook message that she took the threat of violence seriously.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from August 15, 2008 Facebook message): He’s justified that if I’m yelling in his face or hitting him that he thinks no matter what other men of authority say, that it’s okay to hit me back, so yes, that’s always in the back of my mind. But lately I’ve even picked up the phone and said, “I’m calling 911” and he takes the phone out of my hands, or immediately backs away and then tries to make me look like the crazy, irrational one.

Dave Cawley: During another fight, Susan locked herself inside a closet and refused to respond to anything Josh said. It was the same coping strategy Josh’s ex-girlfriend Catherine had used when she’d experienced his rage a decade a before.

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: To look at Susan then, you wouldn’t have labeled her a victim of abuse. She didn’t wear tell-tale bruises on her skin that would have branded her as a battered wife. Her parents knew better. During a trip to Washington in June, Chuck and Judy Cox gave their daughter a cell phone, one she could keep secret from her husband. They told her to use it if she ever needed to escape in the middle of the night with the boys.

Chuck Cox: I was there, was able to attend one of the sessions with her counselor. … And she said “well, yeah you are abused.” And said “dad, is that right?” I said “yes it is, I believe so, I think she’s right on.”

Dave Cawley: Chuck told Susan she should never have married Josh.

Chuck Cox: It was clear that she was abused, being abused, emotionally and verbally. Physically, in the extent of not providing the food, the needed food, ‘cause she wouldn’t eat so the kids could eat. ‘Cause it was a choice she had to make.

Dave Cawley: Susan told friends in emails and Facebook messages that she was bracing for a divorce. Here’s just one example, from August of 2008

Kriststen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from August 21, 2008 Facebook message): I am so tempted to just find a lawyer, write up some papers and change the locks and have a police officer with me when he comes home from work. … Either he is that scared of counseling and I need to deliver the unspoken “counseling or divorce” or he thinks he can weasel his way out and I’ll stupidly endure this miserable marriage. Well he is wrong.

Dave Cawley: Susan did contact a divorce attorney, in secret, for advice. But she worried Josh would turn a divorce against her, leaving her with no home, no car and no access to her boys. Friends offered to shelter Susan if she needed to disappear. Susan knew that for all his faults, Josh was very clever and very calculating. She said he would find her, no matter where she went. She also feared he might run off with Charlie and Braden, taking them to live with the father-in-law she despised or even skipping the country with them.

Worse yet, she thought he might try to have her killed. Josh’d maxed out Susan’s credit cards before declaring bankruptcy in 2007. He’d bought toys and tools, then used the court to wipe away the debt. Afterward, he ran up her credit again, figuring he could just declare bankruptcy again if needed.

Josh’d bought a car for Susan to drive, but financed it in his name alone, using the excuse of needing to rebuild his credit.

Kiirsi Hellewell: They had two cars but he got rid of the second car, supposedly claiming that is was going to save on gas but I think now it was very much a way to control where she went and who she did anything with.

Dave Cawley: Susan’s friend Kiirsi Hellewell said that meant Susan had to make her 15-mile round-trip commute by bicycle. Her daily ride ran along 5600 West, a busy road that cuts through an industrial park. For long stretches of the route, Susan had to ride in the narrow space between the fog line and the edge of the pavement, with semi-trucks blowing past her at 50 miles per hour.

(Sound of highway traffic)

Dave Cawley: Though they had almost no assets to speak of, Josh pushed Susan to obtain five-year term life insurance. He first purchased her a half-million dollar policy with New York Life in June of 2007. In March of 2008, he bumped it up to a full million. He was, of course, the sole beneficiary.

Josh also took out a million dollar policy on himself and added a quarter-million for each of his boys. Susan later confided to a coworker in an email she feared for her safety.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from September 22, 2009 email): I was worth a million dollars dead and biking to work. You tell me how easy it would be to have an “accident.” I guess our main problem is I feel like I’m just an asset to be controlled. I make money, I take care of the house and kids and put up with his crap, he could easily take me out. So yeah, I was worried.

Dave Cawley: With both Josh and Susan working, they needed to put the boys in daycare. Josh searched online and found Debbie Caldwell, a woman who ran an in-home daycare in their area.

Debbie Caldwell: Oddly enough, I had taken a week off and I was up at LDS girls camp with the girls and when I came back down I had something like 30 messages on my phone from this Josh Powell on my phone.

Dave Cawley: Josh wanted to meet Debbie.

Debbie Caldwell: We did schedule an interview, to which he showed up an hour and a half late.

Dave Cawley: Susan came along as well.

Debbie Caldwell: She asked me, specifically, if she had to change her work schedule, would that be a problem and I said no, when I take children in, the slot’s there … she said she may have to change her schedule because they were not doing well in their marriage and she was talking to an attorney and looking at getting a divorce. So she even told me that straight upfront the first day I met her and I assured her that the spot would be hers, no matter what her schedule was, that I would provide the care for the boys.

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: Susan took out a blue pen and started writing on a sheet of college-rule lined paper while at work on a Saturday in late June. Across the top margin she wrote the words “Last will and testament for Susan.” What then followed was an indictment of her domestic situation.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from June 28, 2008 last will and testament): I bike to work daily and have been having extreme marital stress for about three or four years now. For mine and my children’s safety I feel the need to have a paper trail at work which would not be accessible to my husband. … I want it documented somewhere that there is extreme turmoil in our marriage, he has threatened to “skip the country” and told me straight out “if we divorce, there will be no lawyers, only a mediator, and I will ruin you. … Your life would be over and the boys will not grow up with a mom and dad.”

If something happens to me, please talk to my sister-in-law Jenny Graves, my friend Kiirsi Hellewell, check my blogs on Myspace… check my work desk, talk to my friends, co-workers, and family. It is an open fact that we have life insurance policies of over a million if we die in the next four years. Co-workers, family and friends hear me say this occasionally.

If I die, it may not be an accident, even if it looks like one. Take care of my boys. I want my parents Judy and Chuck Cox very involved and in charge of their lives. … I love my boys, I live for them and I choose not to cheat or do drugs because I wouldn’t want to risk losing them.

Dave Cawley: Susan added her signature at the bottom and then, in the margin, added a note to her boys.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from June 28, 2008 last will and testament): I love you Charlie and Braden and I’m sorry you’ve seen how wrong and messed up our marriage is. I would never leave you!

Dave Cawley: Susan folded the page in thirds and slid it into a makeshift envelope formed out of another sheet of lined paper. She stapled the whole thing closed, then spelled out a special set of instructions on the outer face.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from June 28, 2008 last will and testament): For family, friends of Susan, all except for Josh Powell, husband, I don’t trust him! Josh Powell is not allowed to possess this.

Dave Cawley: The night before, Josh and Susan had gone through the worst fight of their marriage to date. It was a doozy. It’d rocked Susan so badly, she dictated the blow-by-blow to her friend Kiirsi.

The result was a document titled “The Deposition.” It said Josh complained because Susan sometimes spent more on groceries than promised. He ordered her to memorize the weekly supermarket ads and only buy the cheapest items. She asked why he was able to spend money freely when she could not. He told her it was none of her business what he spent.

Kiirsi wrote that Josh had called Susan a religious freak for wanting to pay tithing and sing in the church choir. When she pushed back, he offered to give her a $50 monthly allowance out of her own paycheck, from which she could make a $5 tithe.

Susan kept both the deposition and her last will and testament in a drawer at her work. About a month later, she added something else.

Susan Cox Powell (from July 29, 2008 home video): I am documenting all our assets just in case of any emergencies, fire, flood, damage, disputes.

Dave Cawley: While Josh was away from home one day in July, Susan took a camcorder and walked through their house.

Susan Cox Powell (from July 29, 2008 home video): So, we’ve got this treadmill…

Dave Cawley: What you’re hearing is Susan’s actual voice.

Susan Cox Powell (from July 29, 2008 home video): Charlie, say “hi.”

Dave Cawley: She documented Josh’s extensive collection of power tools.

Susan Cox Powell (from July 29, 2008 home video): This is all stuff bought in a year or less through Home Depot on my credit. Josh bought a lot of stuff and then he had to bankrupt it. And then he bought a little bit more on my credit.

Dave Cawley: She catalogued his toys.

Susan Cox Powell (from July 29, 2008 home video): Alright, Hover Storm. He bought a stupid hovercraft remote controlled toy. … Oh there’s his RC car. It’s pretty pimped out, you can see that stuff. I think he’s got probably three-thousand worth of supplies in the RC car world.

Dave Cawley: She walked through the garden, showing obvious pride in the variety of food growing there.

Susan Cox Powell (from July 29, 2008 home video): Our peach tree, our cherry tree. Smaller one’s a pluat tree. Apple, pear. We got pumpkin and watermelon and cantaloupe. Squash and zucchini. Eggplant, cucumbers, ochre, peppers, radishes, the peas I planted didn’t grow. Those two rows are empty. It’s being watered right now. More peppers, tomatoes, corn, raspberries out in the back. All of those, the tomatoes. Those are weeds or some type of plant that transplanted.

Dave Cawley: Through much of the recording, Susan’s voice carried a defeated, almost ominous tone.

Susan Cox Powell (from July 29, 2008 home video): And tools galore, more tools galore. (Sound of drawers opening and closing) These are all the paperwork for all the tools he bought. (Heavy sigh)

Dave Cawley: But she never mentioned the word divorce.

Susan Cox Powell (from July 29, 2008 home video): Uh, this is me. July 29th, 2008. It is 12:33 Mountain Time. Umm, covering all my bases, making sure that if something happens to me or my family or all of us that our assets are documented. Hope everything works out and we’re all happy and live happily ever after as much as that’s possible.

Dave Cawley: A week later, Susan obtained a safe deposit box at a Wells Fargo bank branch down the street from her work. She made sure Josh wasn’t allowed to access it. Into the box, she placed copies of social security cards and birth certificates for herself and her boys, U.S. savings bonds, receipts showing bank account balances and other documents that could prove critical in the case of a divorce.

Susan’s nightmare birthday, the one with the unfrosted cake and underwhelming gifts, came and went in October. Still, she dreamed of expanding their family, adding a baby girl. Here’s what she wrote about it in a Facebook message.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from October 18, 2008 Facebook message): When Josh bought the cake/frosting there was pink and I asked “oh! Is this for when I have a baby girl?” Still feel like I’m dreaming in that aspect but I am starting to play my cards and get my way so I’m not so celibate anymore at least.

Dave Cawley: Josh’s older sister Jennifer couldn’t understand why her brother seemed so fixated on controlling Susan.

Jennifer Graves: I mean they were married for quite a while and he didn’t ever come to that realization that she could be a strong, wonderful, independent woman and still be a wonderful, loving wife and mother. … She was so amazing. They would have gone far if he had embraced that. But he wouldn’t recognize that.

Dave Cawley: That November, Susan spent an entire day at a temple praying for guidance. Latter-day Saints believe their temples are sacred spaces where individuals who are worthy can receive inspiration directly from heaven. They are also where the faith’s most sacred rites are performed, like the marriage “for time and all eternity” into which Josh and Susan had entered in April, 2001.

But Josh no longer had a temple recommend. That’s a card that grants Latter-day Saints access to their temples. They’re only issued to members who affirm they’re obeying church doctrine. So, Susan went to the temple alone. While there, she had chance interactions with two single men. She later wrote to a friend, saying those episodes had left her with a peaceful feeling.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from November 17, 2008 Facebook message): I think the Lord was telling me there are other righteous men out there for me if my husband chooses not to be.

Dave Cawley: But she also had the impression that Josh remained her eternal companion. She told another friend on Facebook that she felt it was her duty to guide him back to the light.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from November 4, 2008 Facebook message): My parents are just gung-ho ready to help pay for a divorce attorney and everyone thinks its so easy to leave and magically start from scratch… I fear everyone will be disappointed in me if I stay.

Dave Cawley: While sitting in the temple, Susan pulled out a pen and a small notebook. She started to write.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Cox Powell from November, 2008 letter to Josh Powell): I am not threatening a divorce, but what you ask of me is too great to bear. You must understand that my religion is a part of me. You can’t ask me to pick and choose only certain parts of it to live and expect me to be happy. … When we got married the gospel was the center of our marriage and our family. … I have to ask myself now, was this an act? Were you just pretending? In my heart I think this answer is no. But you’ve chosen to forget all of this and have been influenced to a negative outlook in life.

Dave Cawley: When she arrived home, Susan typed the message into the computer. It was about 2,000 words — the equivalent of three typed paged. She printed out the letter and handed it to Josh. In a Facebook message, she told a friend he didn’t take it well.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from November 14, 2008 Facebook message): We had a two-hour screaming fight last night. I got him to see some of my perspectives and he said he might be willing to start going to church but it really seems like he’s digging in his heels on not paying tithing.

Dave Cawley: Obviously, Josh did not intend to change. Susan no longer intended to compromise. But she couldn’t bring herself to file divorce papers. In early 2009, Josh told Susan they needed to make sure the boys would be covered if something bad were to happen. Instead of divorce papers, they signed paperwork establishing the Joshua S. Powell and Susan M. Powell Revocable Trust on February 4th. It’s a day that sticks in the minds of Susan’s friends Kiirsi and Debbie.

Kiirsi Hellewell: The day that I met Debbie [Susan] called me and she said “We’re at a lawyers setting up this life insurance thing in a trust for the boys and I need you to go pick them up at Debbie’s house because Josh is taking forever arguing about every detail and trying to put illegal things into this agreement and the lawyer keeps telling him ‘No you can’t, no you can’t—’”

Debbie Caldwell: It’s not legal.

Kiirsi Hellewell: “‘—you can’t do that, no you can’t say that.’ So can please go get ‘em for me and keep them until I get back.” And that was the day I met Debbie.

Dave Cawley: If Susan were to die, the trust gave control of her assets to Josh. If they were both killed, Susan’s dad and Josh’s brother Michael would co-manage the trust on behalf of their boys, Charlie and Braden. But in the case of Susan’s death alone, Josh would receive the power to erase Chuck Cox as a trustee.

Josh also had Susan sign forms granting him power of attorney for her retirement accounts. He gained full authority to buy or sell investments in her name, or cash them out, without needing her permission. Debbie couldn’t believe it.

Debbie Caldwell: I said “Susan, that’s ridiculous. You guys do not need that kind of life insurance. Why are you doing that?” And she says “well, because Josh wants to.”

Kiirsi Hellewell: And you looked at her and you said “Susan, you’re worth more dead than alive.”

Debbie Caldwell: I did. I did say that to her.

Dave Cawley: Susan told a coworker in an email that Josh could “pull the plug” if she were ever on life support. Her work friends like Linda Bagley were aghast.

Linda Bagley: She mentioned one time about him having, insisting that they open the accounts, IRA accounts, and fund them fully, borrowing against their credit cards and umm, that he have full power of attorney and he wanted to make sure that that full power of attorney meant that he could take money out without her signing anything. That he had the authorization to do that. And so that’s what he had.

Dave Cawley: The legal framework for Josh’s life post-Susan was falling in place. Still, she held on to that handwritten last will and testament, hidden in a drawer at work. She later told a coworker in an email that their family trust obviously overrode her old will.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from September 22, 2009 email): Now I feel like I should/could get rid of this stuff but [I’m] reluctant to do it because I guess I don’t feel totally in the clear yet.

Dave Cawley: Coworker Linda Bagley told me there was good reason for that.

Linda Bagley: She came to me and she told me at one point at least six to ten months before she disappeared — it was probably sometime in 2009 — she said “if Josh, if something ever happens to me, make sure they look at Josh,” basically. And I said “what do you mean?” (Nervous laugh) Y’know, “has he threatened you,” or whatever. And she said “no, it’s just the way he talks.”

Dave Cawley: One time, Linda went to visit Susan at home and found Josh in the living room. A news report about a recent murder was on TV. Josh made a comment about how he’d be able to get away with murder. All he’d have to do is make sure police couldn’t find the body.

Linda Bagley: The next day she came to me and she said “see, see he makes these kinds of comments and that,” y’know, “and that kind of,” so she was concerned that maybe he would do something and she had a folder at work and a journal at work that she kept some of these suspicions — and she wanted to make sure that I knew that it was there and she told a couple of other coworkers about it.

Dave Cawley: Two days after signing the trust paperwork, Josh, Susan and the boys headed out for a nearly month-long trip to Washington. They’d been on the road for about nine hours and had just braved a snow squall on I-84 when they stopped for gas in the town of Pendleton, Oregon. The station attendant told them their tire was flat and called for a tow. Thankfully, they were able to patch the tire and continue on through a thick fog, arriving safely in Puyallup a few hours later.

The drive home at the end of February proved even more eventful. They spent one night at a motel in the Tri-Cities area of eastern Washington, sharing the room with Josh’s dad. Susan didn’t want to be anywhere near Steve, so she later wrote that she spent the night alone in the minivan.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from 2009 vacation to Washington document): It wasn’t too bad, but about the last four hours I awoke every hour to check my watch and had weird dreams that people were outside my van window (like police or Josh’s brother) and I know that didn’t happen; so I finally went in at 5:30 a.m.

Dave Cawley: Steve Powell wrote in his own journal that he believed Susan remained outside that night because she was afraid of her overwhelming sexual attraction for him.

The Washington trip seemed to recharge Susan, in spite of that bad night of sleep. She’d reached a grudging deal with Josh: he would attend church meetings one Sunday a month, while she would miss church once a month.

She did damage control with her friends and family after getting back to Utah, telling them in emails and Facebook messages that her marital situation had improved. 

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from April 6, 2009 Facebook message): Today is our 8 year anniversary. In my soul and heart I know that Josh and I will stay married. He’s putting forth efforts to change when I push him and even when I don’t.

Dave Cawley: Josh also re-engaged with his wife physically, sort of.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from April 6, 2009 Facebook message): We are getting a bit better as far as affection goes, but unfortunately it’s only in the bedroom, he’s still too afraid to ever kiss and hug me or hold hands so that’s still annoying.

Dave Cawley: That hint of physical intimacy kept Susan’s dreams of having a daughter alive.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from April 6, 2009 Facebook message): I want to have that third pregnancy. Notice I didn’t say 3rd child because I’m still holding out that I’ll have twins. … I feel like I’m being selfish to put off another just because I don’t have the perfect marriage yet but I know overall, it’s good, it’ll work.

Dave Cawley: She expanded on that in an email a week later.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from April 14, 2009 Facebook message): Things really are better than before, but just about every time I say or thing that, my husband says or does something that still manages to blow me out of the water and I question if I want to add another child to this.

Dave Cawley: In fact, Susan’s messages show she suspected several times through 2009 that she might be pregnant. She made no secret of it with work friends like Linda Bagley.

Linda Bagley: She was also talking about maybe trying for another child and I think maybe she thought that would make a little bit of a difference in keeping together the marriage as well. And umm, but Josh was always super against the idea and so finally one day she came to me and said “he said, okay let’s try.”

Dave Cawley: Josh’s little concessions were bait that kept Susan on the hook. There were ample signs throughout 2009 that he hadn’t made any significant personal changes. He reneged on the go-one-week, skip-one-week church agreement within just a couple of months.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from April 14, 2009 email): We used to go to the temple weekly in Washington and now he’s annoyed if I want to say prayer for dinner… and it’s not all religious stuff, his character and personality has really swung to an extreme to I’m constantly reminding him to reign it back.

Dave Cawley: Josh continued to show little regard for his wife. When weather kept Susan from riding her bike to work, he would drop her off or make her carpool with coworkers. Rarely was Susan allowed to take the minivan herself. Josh frequently failed to pick her up from work in the afternoon, or get the boys from Debbie Caldwell’s daycare.

Debbie Caldwell: When umm, Josh wouldn’t show up to pick up the kids, she’d phone and I would load the kids up after all the other kids were gone. Course, ‘cause I wanted to get on with my day and my night, so I’d go get her from work and bring her and the boys home. … And that was quite a normal occurrence.

Dave Cawley: Coworkers like Linda also gave Susan rides home. Sometimes, they’d stop at Deseret Industries, a thrift store chain operated by their church. 

Linda Bagley: I’d look for knick knacks and she’d look for things she could use around the house, potty training stuff, stuff for the kids, toys for the kids, book for the kids, she’d look for stuff like that.

Dave Cawley: Donated items, used stuff, was the bulk of what was on the shelves at the Deseret Industries store. They were sold at just a fraction of retail prices. Still, Susan joked about not being able to afford the trips. She and Josh were spending money elsewhere, though. Josh had made full-time at his work, giving them a bit more disposable income.

In September, she told a coworker in an email that she wished Josh would cheat on her to make ending their marriage easier.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from September 22, 2009 email): We keep making major purchases andimprovements like we will stay married. I don’t think he’d ever leave me (he’s spoiled) and the other woman thing is practically impossible for him so I doubt I’d be motivated to actually leave him.

Dave Cawley: Together, they dropped $4,500 on a vacation subscription deal, which Susan insisted was not a timeshare scam. It soured almost immediately. The subscription was supposed to provide huge discounts on travel and lodging, but a promised “free” seven-day cruise never materialized. Feeling angry and cheated, they took their dispute to the Better Business Bureau. That got them nowhere.

Josh sent an email to Susan in October, suggesting they threaten the company with bad publicity.

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell from October 23, 2009 email to Susan Powell): I also could easily throw together a website to slam them. Even if I don’t make it live yet (I could even host it on the web, but on a temporary domain), they may start to get the picture.

Dave Cawley: Susan normally enjoyed reading Mary Higgins Clark murder mysteries, but found herself instead focused on titles from the self-help category. She became enamored with “The Color Code” by Taylor Hartman. The book’s general premise is that personalities can be categorized by one of four colors — red, blue, white or yellow — using a multiple-choice test. She scored herself as blue, a loyal, long-suffering creative type driven by emotion who also felt insecure and moody. She thought Josh was red, a confident, logical thinker who had a strong need to be right and who put work ahead of relationships. Susan made Josh read the book too, calling it the only form of counseling he’d tolerate.

More and more, she exerted her independence. She started to organize “girl’s nights” with friends and coworkers like Amber Hardman. This is the first time Amber has told her story publicly.

Amber Hardman: So it worked out good. We would just go right after work.

Dave Cawley: They’d go to movies, usually at the dollar theater, or out to eat. Susan made Josh stay home and watch the boys.

Amber Hardman: She kind of didn’t give him much choice. She started standing up for  herself a little more, which is good. She said “they’re your kids, you can take care of them for a couple hours while I go out.” She would try to lay it out and just go.

Dave Cawley: She also started buying Mary Kay products and lying to Josh about it. She froze their Capital One credit card to prevent him from running up more debt. She wrote this in an email.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from April 14, 2009 email): He doesn’t know I spend $50 to my parents every paycheck and $25 to my team member account that he doesn’t know is still open. I make sure I hang out with girl friends and force the occasional date on him.

Dave Cawley: So, what qualified as a date in their fractured relationship? On a Friday night in May of 2009, Josh took Susan to a bargain Mexican food joint, then drove her out to a spot on the muddy south shore of the Great Salt Lake.

(Sound of waves at Great Salt Lake shoreline)

Dave Cawley: She emailed her friend Amber about the date the following day.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from May 16, 2009 email to Amber Hardman): [He] literally parked near all the graffiti junk to “watch the sunset” and asked if this was good. Maybe I was too harsh, I said “to be honest, there are bug guts to look through the window and I’m afraid we’ll get stuck in the mud or cops will come thinking we are connected to vandals.” We had left-overs that he wanted to put in the fridge so we were home by 9:30.

Dave Cawley: Susan had worksheets from a self-help book they were supposed to fill out prior to these dates. She told her sister-in-law Jennifer in an email that Josh refused to complete them.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from July 27, 2009 email to Jennifer Graves): It’s an obligation to him that he seems to hate, [he] wants to go as cheap as possible. I’m talking $5 pizza, grabs pop from our house, parks at the local park, we eat, he barely answers on the questions and discussions we were supposed to have on our date book and rushes home so as not to have to pay the babysitter anymore.

Dave Cawley: Their dates sometimes led to what Susan described as “frisky” activity. In June, she believed she might have conceived. She used some of the money she’d set aside in a personal account to buy a pregnancy test. It came back negative. Friends like Amber Hardman couldn’t understand why Susan seemed so set on having another child.

Amber Hardman: I’m like, “why do you want a baby so bad if you’re having such a hard time in your marriage?” She’s like “oh, things are getting better.” That was always her answer, especially around that time. And no, I knew things weren’t getting better because we’d have a conversation a week prior about another fight her and Josh had had. So…

Dave Cawley: Through the summer, Susan pressed Josh to rebuild the deck on the back of their house. He qualified their time together digging post holes in the yard as a “date.” He’d made little progress by the end of September, only getting the framing in place. The lumber sat stacked in their garage, preventing them from parking the minivan there.

Susan told a friend by email that a driver had rear-ended Josh around Labor Day. He had whiplash and couldn’t do physical labor.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from September 22, 2009 email): So instead he was on muscle relaxers. … We probably acted a little stupid and bought a massage chair. … I think this will motivate Josh to finish the deck and move on on to the basement.

Dave Cawley: Josh hired out much of the deck-building work to his neighbor, Dax Guzman.

Dax Guzman: My 11-year-old daughter could lift more than he could. He’s just physically useless.

Dave Cawley: Dax thought he and Josh would be working together, side by side.

Dax Guzman: Like a simple 6 or 8×2, whatever we were using, even a 12-footer, he couldn’t lift. So, we’d have to use braces and jacks to hold things up on one end because I was working on the other ‘cause he couldn’t hold them up and “just get out of the way man, just let me do this. I can do it by myself easier.”

Dave Cawley: Dax and his wife Mindy lived one street over from Josh and Susan. They’d become friends with Susan through church. Josh paid Dax for his work on the deck, but it was hardly worth Dax’s time.

Dax Guzman: Took longer than it should have just because, I mean I’m okay with measuring twice, cutting once but he just would go over the plans and over and over and I’m like “dude, I’m the one doing this, I’m the one doing the work. … Just let me do it.” And we would have to stop so that he could plan stuff.

Dave Cawley: That wasn’t the only annoyance.

Dax Guzman: He’d sit there and want to chat with you about something. I’m sitting there either laying wood down or putting up one of the walls or, y’know, chiseling rocks out of the ground … and he’d just sit there and try to chat. And like, “stop.”

Dave Cawley: Dax couldn’t help but notice the extent of Josh’s tool collection.

Dax Guzman: He had like, DeWalt everything. His compressor, his saws, his screwdriver set. Everything that he had was just top of the line. It was nice.

Dave Cawley: Josh told Dax he’d obtained most of his tools before declaring bankruptcy, essentially getting them for free.

The summer ended. Susan and Mindy watched the kids play in the yard one Friday in mid-October, as Josh and Dax worked on the deck late into the afternoon.

Dax Guzman: We were gonna leave. They, y’know, Josh asked if we wanted to stay for dinner and umm, then it came up that it was Susan’s birthday. And so we, my wife and I, my wife initially, she offered to take care of the boys that night if they wanted to go out to dinner or something and he said “no,” like, “no, she’ll cook.” And we’re like “wow.” I mean like, we insisted, we’re like “really, we’ll watch the boys and,” y’know, “you guys can go out on a date” and he just wouldn’t have it. I thought that was kind of messed up.

Dave Cawley: Susan confided in Mindy, as she had so many others, that her marriage was in trouble. She and Josh continued to argue, often telling one another to “shut up” in front of the boys. Hearing this, Charlie would tell them “hush.”

Susan told a coworker in an email she worried her sons might turn out like her husband or, worse yet, grandpa Steve.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from July 6, 2009 email): I’m already watching my kids for warning signs because of Josh, his brother, his dad, his grandmother because all of this didn’t come out until a couple years into the marriage.”

Josh spent much of his free time either reading technical manuals or on the phone, talking to his family back in Washington. Susan told her friends she hated the way he acted after those phone calls. Here’s just one of those emails.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from June 29, 2009 email): If he has them on the phone (often speaker), he has to warn them if I (or I hope the kids) walk into the room because they will be swearing or talking inappropriately… and it’s always an hour-plus conversation. … He basically has the phone on so they can be included in the room but they may not speak for minutes at a time.

Dave Cawley: Susan said she saw a significant change in Josh’s behavior, for the worse, when Steve was on the phone.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from June 29, 2009 email): Any time he’s talking with his dad I’m irritated. Even if it isn’t his dad, I assume it is and I’ve caught myself trying not to get angry and assume he’s talking to him again. He “accidentally” swears or slips snide negative comments about me, the church, my family it seems when talking to me. … I think a lot because he’s talking to his dad so often, who truly thrives on negative and seems to encourage it with Josh.

Dave Cawley: Her friend and coworker Amber Hardman remembered one particular conversation. Susan overheard Josh talking to his dad, while Charlie and Braden were sitting on his lap.

Amber Hardman: And she walked in on him and he’d been telling how mommy was evil for making them go to church and she was just an evil person and they didn’t need to listen to her and they didn’t need to go to church and that all these things are happening with Josh’s dad on the phone. So it almost seemed like Josh’s dad was directing the conversation.

Dave Cawley: Susan was furious.

Amber Hardman: She quickly got mad and took the boys out and said “how dare you talk to our kids this way about me and with your father on the phone. This is just not an okay situation.” And she actually took them on a drive and left for an hour to calm down because she was so upset and didn’t know what else to do. And she told me she felt worried about just leaving for that hour, that she was afraid what Josh would do for her just leaving to cool off and calm down. I said “Susan, it’s your vehicle. It’s your children. You’re trying to better a situation which was obviously not a good one. It’s ok to do those things. You’re not taking the kids.” But that was her concern, that Josh would call the cops on her, that she was kidnapping the children and leaving without him when she was just going to cool off and she clearly had told him that. But she was still worried that he would twist the story.

Dave Cawley: During the fall of 2009, Susan at last succeeded in getting Josh to join her in marriage counseling. His condition: it had to be free. No copays and no insurance. He said any paper trail could impact their credit rating.

Their bishop referred them to LDS Family Services, a nonprofit counseling service administered by their church. They made it through several sessions before the exasperated counselor threw up her hands. She told them to take a month off from counseling. During that time, Josh was to focus on living his religion with a good attitude. She told Susan to keep her temper in check.

In her head, Susan set a date. She would give Josh until their anniversary in April. She told a friend by email that the clock was ticking.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from September 18, 2009 email): At this point, I feel like he’s had eight years of marriage, about four years goofing off religiously and marital … I don’t expect an overnight change but I also don’t think I should waste another couple of years or until the kids grow up to wake up one day and he is saying never mind, and we’ve got nothing left in common.

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: There weren’t many customers in the West Valley City Lowe’s hardware store. Most were at home, spending time with family or preparing for the turkey feast to come. It was November 25, 2009, the night before Thanksgiving. Staff were setting up displays for the upcoming Black Friday sales. Less than half an hour remained before closing time. That’s when Josh Powell walked through the door.

(Sound of sliding doors)

Dave Cawley: He was alone — no Susan, no Charlie or Braden — and in no hurry. He clutched a paper ad in one hand, along with a length of hose for an acetylene torch. Josh had bought the torch earlier that afternoon from a welding supply company called Airgas. He’d told the salesman at Airgas he wanted a torch capable of cutting through steel, but didn’t know much about the mechanics or chemistry. He’d peppered the salesman with questions.

Airgas had been closed for half an hour by the time Josh swiped his credit card to buy the torch. He spent about $400, getting the torch, two lengths of hose, a brass regulator and two gas tanks: one containing oxygen and the other acetylene. The kit, he was assured, would cut through metal up to half an inch thick.

Josh tried to put it all together after leaving Airgas, but couldn’t get the hoses to attach to the tanks. He couldn’t take it back because Airgas was closed. So that’s why he went to Lowe’s. The staff at Lowe’s asked Josh what he intended to do with the torch. He said it wasn’t for any job in particular, he just wanted to play around with it and see what it could do.

The workers took a look at what he had and told him the hose was the right one. There wasn’t really anything they could do about his problem. Announcements on the store’s overhead speakers counted down to closing time. He looked at paint sprayers and grabbed some batteries. Lowe’s had been closed for a half an hour before he wandered up to the checkout stand. He bought a bucket with a pour spout, which he figured would help him more easily fill the Rug Doctor he’d convinced Susan they needed to buy a couple of weeks earlier.

Josh took his torch back to Airgas after Thanksgiving. An employee told him the hoses wouldn’t work because Josh’s tanks had the wrong fittings. But he could get used tanks with the right fittings and have them refilled. That’s what Josh did. By the start of December, he had a working steel-cutting set-up that could fit in the back of his van.

(Sound of oxyacetylene torch starting)

Dave Cawley: The people who helped Josh at both Lowe’s and Airgas would later tell police the encounters were odd. They weren’t alone. A couple of days before buying the acetylene torch, Josh had gone to Western Gardens. That’s a nursery just up the street from his home in West Valley City. Late November is not typically a busy time for gardeners in Utah, not much grows outside in the depths of winter, but Josh said wanted to mend a broken tree branch.

He grabbed a roll of Dewitt-brand tree wrap. A Western Gardens worker told him it wouldn’t do the job because the branch he wanted to mend was dead. It couldn’t be brought back to life just by wrapping it in place with a $3 sheet of plastic. Josh insisted, even becoming emotional about the broken bough. He ended up buying a 50-foot roll of the tree wrap.

Josh’d always liked hardware stores. He’d even briefly worked at a Home Depot in Puyallup about a year after marrying Susan. He’d started taking Charlie and Braden to the free workshops on Saturdays at both the Lowe’s and Home Depot stores in their neighborhood.

Other parents were not so thrilled. Josh usually showed up late. He had a tendency to yell at his boys and be overbearing, making them recite instructions for the projects out loud. He frightened the other kids. At the same time, Josh wouldn’t step in if the boys misbehaved. Store staff had to scramble after Charlie and Braden as they ran wild with scissors or nails.

As Josh was on this shopping spree through November, Susan was dealing with more personal matters. She suspected again she’d at last become pregnant. In a November 9th email with the subject line “what the heck is going on with me?”, she described a bout of nausea lasting from Friday to Monday. She had no other symptoms to suggest a viral or bacterial bug and figured it had lasted too long to be food poisoning.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from November 9, 2009 email): I’ve also read that when you are pregnant, your stomach may not handle foods as well. But I’m not ever puking or dehydrated or anything and I’m still hungry and having cravings despite being nauseous.

Dave Cawley: She’d also felt body changes like milk letdown and ligament stretching, familiar indications of pregnancy. On the other hand, she’d recently experienced menstrual-like bleeding, which would seem to rule out pregnancy. So what the heck was going on? The problem persisted on Tuesday, November 10th.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from November 10, 2009 email): Last night I had some leftover pizza Josh brought from a computer geek thing and I felt fine until about 9:30 or so and I just snacked a little on nuts and went to bed. Got up a couple times in the middle of the night with a hurt tummy and nausea.

Dave Cawley: On Wednesday, Susan went to a clinic for a blood test.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from November 12, 2009 Facebook message): I’m to the point that I won’t believe them if they say it’s negative. I’m still nauseous, can almost set my watch to it. If it’s been about three hours and I haven’t eaten a huge meal or had a bunch of snacks, I’m nauseous and moody. How does a solid seven day stretch be pinned to anything but? I just hope it’s a girl!

Dave Cawley: She was disappointed again. The results came back negative, though with some confusion.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from November 17, 2009 email): Yesterday the doctor’s office left me a message asking to call back about the results. I called back and a nurse wasn’t available to speak to me, but I told them I already got the results on Friday unless they told me wrong. They were all confused and said they’d try to have someone call me back and suggested I should blood test again. … I just hope nothing is wrong if I’m bleeding and pregnant.

Dave Cawley: Something was seriously off with her body. She wondered if a spider bite could be to blame. Her coworker Linda Bagley suggested she get another blood test and have the lab check for conditions other than pregnancy.

Linda Bagley: She asked me for a recommendation for a doctor so I gave her one that was where I went and I said “tell ‘em this is, this is not normal and they should check your blood for other things that might be going wrong because this is like the second time, and y’know, so if it’s negative ask them to check your blood, too.” But she didn’t. They just did the pregnancy and said “nope” and sent her on her way. And they didn’t do any blood test as I understand later.

Dave Cawley: Another of Susan’s work friends, Amber Hardman, gave her similar advice.

Amber Hardman: She’d asked me about it and she thought she was pregnant and she’d do a test and it’d say it’s negative. And I told her several times, “if you feel that way, go get a blood test.” But I told her not just for pregnancy. And I kept telling her that. I said “don’t just get a blood pregnancy test. Have them run your blood and see if something else is going on if they can. Might as well while they’re drawing blood, because if you’re not pregnant, something is going on. You shouldn’t feel sick and nauseous.” Like, “something is triggering this. If you’re feeling this way and you’re not pregnant, it’s something else.” And she’s like “no, no, I’m pregnant.” She was like determined she was pregnant. She wasn’t pregnant.

Dave Cawley: Susan conceded she’d not conceived the day after Thanksgiving.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from November 27, 2009 email): Period started, I think I miscarried so early it looked like a normal period. No more nausea (still craving food but that could be PMS related), no more milk letdown and ligaments stretching etcetera and good thing too, that’s why I felt it was ok to get drugs.

Dave Cawley: Josh did something very unexpected right in the middle of Susan’s unexplained illness. He told her he loved her while dropping her off at work on November 16th. Coming from him, the words were so unusual, so unexpected, that Susan emailed several of her friends to tell them about it.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from November 16, 2009 email): He said it as I was out the door, I almost missed it. I smiled and said it back and he had a cute, childish smile about him. I think it was because of everything yesterday.

Dave Cawley: The day before, Josh’d actually gone to church. Susan rewarded him by slaving through the afternoon staining wood for their long-overdue deck, doing a mountain of laundry and working on a crochet project Josh was eager to have done.

In fact through November, Josh attended church on three consecutive Sundays. It was the most time he’d spent at church in years. His sudden reappearance at church caught neighbors like Dax Guzman by surprise, especially because he showed up in a polo shirt and black leather jacket.

Dax Guzman: He’d go to church and he’d still be wearing that jacket. (Laughs) Still be wearing the jacket. Oh my goodness.

Dave Cawley: Latter-day Saint men typically dress for church in a suit or at least slacks, a white shirt and tie. Susan kept counting down to their wedding anniversary, hoping for a sustained change in her husband’s attitude. That single uttered “I love you” made her think maybe he’d really change.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from November 16, 2009 email): He’d pretty much have to beat me or cheat on me, or beat the children or something I think everything else can be worked out.

Dave Cawley: On the other hand, Josh continued being Josh. After blowing hundreds of dollars on a massage chair in September, then the carpet cleaner and gas torch in November, he started December by telling Susan to stop spending their money. Here’s the email Susan sent.

Kristen Sorensen (as Susan Powell from December 1, 2009 email to Josh Powell): As far as not spending money, I guess assume our ‘Christmas presents’ to each other will be in the form of watching the joy on our kid’s faces as they open and play with the toys.

Dave Cawley: And Josh’s response?

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell from December 1, 2009 email to Susan Cox Powell): May as well be.

Dave Cawley: On the next episode of Cold.

Phone call: Hi Susan, it’s Jessica calling… I did have you scheduled with the boys today at 8:40. We haven’t seen or heard from you. So we were just concerned. Hope nothing tragic has happened.

Cold season 1, episode 1: To All the Girls I’ve Loved Before – Full episode transcript

Dave Cawley: Apprehension knotted up Catherine Terry’s insides on the drive over Snoqualmie Pass. It was late November, 1999. Catherine’s boyfriend Dennis was at the wheel of his Mitsubishi Gallant, heading west toward Seattle.

(Sound of rain on windshield)

Dave Cawley: Rain pounded the windshield, making it hard to see the mountain road. The wipers swept back and forth at what seemed a frantic speed.

(Sound of windshield wipers)

Dave Cawley: Catherine was ready for the drive to be over, but she wasn’t looking forward to what awaited her in Seattle: her ex-boyfriend, Josh Powell.

Catherine Terry Everett: He could be so good, he could be so sweet and loving and then if things weren’t going his way, not so much.

Dave Cawley: Catherine dated Josh long before he became the subject of a murder investigation. In fact, the story she’s about to tell happened almost exactly 10 years before Susan Powell vanished. She’s never told it to anyone aside from friends and family — not police, not reporters, not anyone.

Catherine Terry Everett: I wonder, and I do wonder in the back of my mind, I’m like “I wonder if Josh thought that I would resurface and blow his whole cover.” But I’m just like, “I don’t want to deal with him. I don’t want to deal with the repercussions of him sic’ing his family on me.”

Dave Cawley: I found Catherine by scouring thousands of files recovered from Josh’s computer. He mentioned her by name only a couple of times, having intentionally erased almost every trace of her from his journals. Catherine’s broke her silence with me for the very first time. But back to the story. In November of ’99, Catherine hadn’t yet told her new boyfriend Dennis much about Josh. She’d only told him Josh’d been very controlling.

Catherine Terry Everett: Yeah, I didn’t realize at the time of course how isolated I had become because I think I’d built up in my mind that I was happy and that things could only get better. And eventually we’d get married and things would be better after that and…

Dave Cawley: It was afternoon before they made it to Seattle, but already starting to get dark. They found a hotel a few miles north of downtown. Catherine called Josh to arrange a time and place to meet. She’d broken up with him over the phone months earlier, in March, during a trip home to Utah.

Catherine Terry Everett: He didn’t, he didn’t yell or anything like that. He was just really quiet, he goes “what do you want to do with your stuff?” And I’m like, “well, go ahead and stick it in storage and I’ll come up and get it.”

Dave Cawley: So that’s what Josh had done. In the meantime, she’d met Dennis. They’d fallen in love. Catherine knew she needed to go back to Washington at some point to get her stuff. When she called Josh to let him know she was coming up in November, she told him her fiancé would be with her. But Dennis and Catherine weren’t actually engaged.

Catherine Terry Everett: I think it was better that we told him that we were engaged instead of “oh, this is my boyfriend.” ‘Cause then he would have been like “insert Josh, let me see if I can break this up.”

Dave Cawley: Josh insisted he needed to see Catherine that very night. He said he wanted to give her a pass to the Pacific Science Center.

Catherine Terry Everett: I do remember telling him “I don’t think we’re going to use it.’ But he’s like ‘I’m going to come drop it off anyways.”

Dennis Everett: “Just in case you change your mind.”

Catherine Terry Everett: But no I really, I really think it was his way of checking out the situation.

Dave Cawley: Josh showed up at the hotel around 11 p.m. He knocked on the door. It swung open, revealing a tall, broad-shouldered man — Dennis Everett.

Dennis Everett: I just, I stood in the doorway. I’m six-one, he was about five-ten and he was a lot smaller than I am. I stood in the doorway like this and she’s peeking over my shoulder, like kind of standing on her tiptoes and peeking over my shoulder—

Catherine Terry Everett: And I was like “hey.”

Dennis Everett: Just taking in the whole conversation.

Catherine Terry Everett: Yeah.

Dave Cawley: Josh’s eyes grew wide. He said “well you must be Dennis.”

Dennis Everett: He was being all cool and cordial. He didn’t seem anything like what she had described to me. And still I didn’t know half the stuff that came out later.

Dave Cawley: Josh handed over the science center pass as promised. Then, he and Catherine agreed to make the handoff of her belongings the next day.

We’re gonna get back to Dennis and Catherine in just bit. First though, we need to talk about Josh. Josh had a long history of failing to connect with girls. His written journals are full of entries about struggles in dating. His audio journals are even more telling. Here he is, in his own voice, reacting to one rejection.

Josh Powell (from 1999 audio journal recording): To lose such a good friend, I didn’t want it to end. I know you’re in a better place but it still broke my heart. I know when you hugged your brother you sent him to me and he filled me up. He replaced my broken heart with incredible joy. Some of the greatest joy you could possibly imagine. You taught me so much about where I want to be and especially how to take care of people and also who I am and who I want to be. I’ve never met someone so full of love. Your example was so powerful that it didn’t take months or years. The footprints you’ve left in my heart are some of the deepest I’ve ever known. They’re here to stay. Losing you was so hard and yet how could I be so selfish to ask for more than you’ve given me which was more than I ever thought possible. You are one of my best friends ‘cause you taught me love.

Dave Cawley: This is Cold, Episode 1: To All the Girls I’ve Loved Before. I’m Dave Cawley.

Let me take just a second here. That voice you just heard belonged to Josh Powell. He recorded that sometime in 1999, part of a series of audio journals he kept during his early 20s. Those recordings have never been public — until now. It’s almost a foregone conclusion that Josh killed his wife, Susan, in December of 2009. He told police he’d taken their two boys out for a desert camping trip, in a blizzard, after midnight. When they returned the next afternoon, Susan was nowhere to be found. Her body has never been located. Nearly two years later, as police closed in, Josh killed himself and his sons.

This podcast is the result of an investigation spanning more than three years and five western states. It’s involved the review of tens of thousands of pages of police reports, warrants, emails, social worker notes, psychological evaluations, personal journals and more. Everything you’re going to hear has been carefully sourced. Where possible, I will bring you the actual voices of the people involved. In some cases, narrators will stand in for they key players.

We’ve identified three themes in this investigation:

First, Susan did see warning signs, but chose to ignore them. She, like so many women, stayed in an abusive relationship. Why? We can learn from her experience.

Second, it seemed obvious to almost everyone that Josh killed Susan yet police never arrested him. Why not? We’re going to dissect the investigation to find those missed opportunities.

And third, why did Josh do what he did? In order to answer that question, we have to look deep into his past and at the manipulative father who helped mold his monstrous actions.

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: Steve and Terrica Powell gave birth to their second child — their first boy — on January 20, 1976. Little Josh had an older sister, Jennifer and was soon followed by a younger brother, John. When he turned 5, he decided he hated his kindergarten teacher because she failed his finger painting.

Steve Powell baptized Josh into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when Josh turned 8, even though he wasn’t worthy to perform the rite, or to hold the Mormon priesthood. Steve’s own journals and an outline for his autobiography confirm he’d secretly gone apostate. By that point, Steve and Terri had bought a relatively spacious 2,700 square-foot home in the Spokane, Washington suburb of Veradale. It sat on a one-acre lot, giving their kids plenty of space to play. That was even more important as they added another child to the mix: Michael.

Josh attended Franklin Elementary School. He was a bright kid who developed a love for robots, remote controlled toys, electronics and architecture. In the 4th grade, he figured out all by himself how to calculate the volume of the school’s sand box. The next year he explained long division to a friend, even though no one had actually taught him how to do it. Yet Josh struggled with school, especially math. He didn’t do well with the structure of the classroom.

Life at home wasn’t great, either. When Josh was in the 5th grade, his mom discovered a secret journal that Steve had been keeping. Steve’d written hundreds of pages about the wife of another man. The journal entries represented two years of Steve’s explicit sexual fantasies about that woman. Terri confronted her husband about the journal. Steve said if the woman’s husband were to die, he would take her in as a plural wife and raise her kids.

Terri was 8 months pregnant with her youngest child, Alina, at the time. In divorce papers filed years later, she would claim she feared Steve intended to bump off the other woman’s husband in order to live out his fantasies. Steve showed no remorse for the hurt he’d caused, but promised to change when Terri threatened to leave him.

From the outside, the Powells still looked like a typical Latter-day Saint family. They went to church on Sundays and did stuff together. Steve though started to feed his kids some decidedly different beliefs. He told the boys people were just animals and should be able to have sex with anyone at any time. He also kept porn magazines in the house.

Worse yet, he found himself attracted to his oldest daughter, Jennifer. Many years later, Steve would write about those feelings in his journal.

Ken Fall (as Steve Powell, from May 18, 2005 journal entry): I remember many times sitting at the breakfast bar in our home when she would come into the kitchen in the morning dressed in a t-shirt and panties. That would drive me nuts. … We went on a trip one time, just the two of us and she wandered around our hotel room in nothing more than a bra and panties.

Dave Cawley: Steve wanted to tear Jennifer away from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. When she became a teen, he told her the church’s scripture — the Book of Mormon — was false. Terri found out about that conversation and was so upset, she moved out of the house.

Jennifer Graves: When I was about 14, my mom pulled me aside and she had a conversation with me. And she said, “look at this path that your father is going on. Look at the path that our savior wants you to go on, that the gospel will lead you down. Compare them. Where do you want to end up?”

Dave Cawley: Jennifer told me that was turning point.

Jenifer Graves: That was the moment where I finally made a hard and fast decision, and my mind was made up. I didn’t want to be like my dad. I could see that he was going down the wrong path. And he was making some bad choices. And he was treating his family badly. And treating my mother badly. And I didn’t want to be like that.

Dave Cawley: The other kids were younger and more impressionable. Josh’d discovered a love for the Boy Scouts. He reveled at earning merit badges and enjoyed going on campouts with his troop. Steve didn’t like it because the troop was sponsored by the church. He mocked his son until Josh, in shame, quit.

Steve also sought out other anti-Mormons.

Jennifer Graves: He had left the church and he was actively fighting against it. He was writing for anti-LDS magazines and was campaigning big time in his own little ways against the church. And so, and he was doing this with his children, too.

Dave Cawley: When Michael turned 8 and became eligible to be baptized, Steve refused. The family turmoil took a toll on Josh. Divorce court records show that around 1989, when Josh was 13, he threatened his mom with a butcher’s knife. He also killed his four-year-old sister Alina’s pet gerbils, then made her touch their blood. Even worse, Terri said she once caught Josh and John “examining” Alina.

Josh tried to hang himself when he was 14. The suicide attempt left him with a rope burn on his neck. Terri pushed him into counseling.

Steve and Terri tried to work out their marriage. They entered counseling. Terri moved back home and things did seem to get better for a time. It didn’t last. One night, Jennifer was working on a project using the family’s sewing machine. It took longer than expected, so she decided to return to it in the morning. Her brother John wanted to use the sewing machine that night. Steve started to tear Jennifer’s work out of the machine. When she protested, he smacked her in the face.

Around this time, Josh became involved with a youth folk dance group called Silver Spurs. He met a girl named Sarah there. They spent a lot of time together in the spring of 1992, after Josh turned 16. For the most part, it was just innocent teenage stuff. They had long talks and snuck out of their homes at night to hang out together.

Sarah was a couple of years older. She thought of Josh like a kid brother. His intentions skewed more to the romantic. He pressured her to be his girlfriend. Sarah explained in no uncertain terms she not interested. Not only that, she’d be leaving at the start of summer, moving to Wyoming with her mom. It did’t make sense to start a relationship. But Josh persisted. One day, shortly before Sarah left, he kissed her. She didn’t like it, but hoped that by letting it happen Josh would let her go gracefully.

One night in May, Josh wanted to attend a youth get-together at church. Steve refused and grounded him. Defiant, Josh went anyway. That night, he wrote his dad a letter explaining he intended to move out and live in his car.

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell from May 6, 1992 letter to Steve Powell): You said that I’d probably be more unhappy, but I’m going to find out. … I think it’s going to work out. Maybe we can be better friends this way.

Dave Cawley: Josh didn’t stay out of the house for long. That summer, he got a job working at a neighborhood car wash. One day while on shift, money went missing from one of the cars. Josh swore he didn’t take it, but even his own dad didn’t believe it. Josh was fired. It was the first of what would turn out to be a lifetime of failures in business.

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: Josh could tell something was wrong. He looked over at his dad from the passenger seat of the car. Steve didn’t look like himself. He seemed preoccupied, distant. The car rolled up Progress Road, past homes with Halloween decorations taped into the windows.

“Have you and mom been talking about divorce again,” he asked.

The question hung in the air. The car kept moving north, toward I-90 and the Spokane River.

“She filed for divorce today,” Steve replied.

That answer flattened Josh like a punch from a prizefighter. He knew his parents’ relationship was bad, but wasn’t privy to all of the dirty details of his father’s private life. He went to school that day, going through the motions while attempting to process what his dad had said. A bitterness started to grow. He wondered why his mom would do such a thing. The only reason he could think of was her religion.

When Josh returned home from school that afternoon, he found his mom and uncles sitting in the living room. The bishop of their Latter-day Saint ward — their congregation — was there as well.

“Your dad and I are getting a divorce and I’m keeping the house,” Terri said.

She told her oldest son he was welcome to keep living there, but would have to abide by some new rules. She handed him a sheet of paper. No swearing or crude talk. No R-rated movies. Curfew at 11 p.m. At the bottom, Josh read “if you break any of these rules, mom reserves the right to throw you out.”

A rising sense of fury made his hands shake. Terri wanted him to sign the paper, indicating he understood. Josh looked around the room, from his mom to his burly uncles to the bishop.

“I don’t care about your rules because I’m living with dad,” he said.

Then, Josh ran up the stairs to his bedroom.

“I don’t care where I live, I’m not living with you,” he shouted.

Josh left the house that evening with his brother John. They were going to a friend’s birthday party. As they walked out the door, Terri warned her boys to be back by 11. Josh said they wouldn’t be able to do that.

“You’d better be back by then or the doors may just be locked,” Terri said.

Josh resented his mother’s newfound sense of authority. He had no intention of abiding by her curfew. He and John caught a bus uptown.

As the party started to wind down that night, Josh started to wonder whether or not the threat his mom had made bore any teeth. At 10:30 he called home to ask if the door would, actually, be locked by the time he made it home.

“Why don’t you just come home and we’ll see,” Terri said.

“Well I guess I won’t come home then,” Josh said and slammed down the phone.

He didn’t go home that night, or the next day. Instead, he crashed with a friend for a few days. His dad finally tracked him down. Through tears, Steve told Josh he’d been worried sick. Steve said he’d rented an apartment. Jennifer, Michael and Alina were still at home with Terri, but 15-year-old John was living with him. Steve wanted Josh to come stay in the apartment as well. Josh agreed.

Steve didn’t take the divorce gracefully. He lashed out at Terri in court filings, calling her a religious freak. He claimed her faith had crossed over into the occult. And he used the loyalty of his sons to his advantage. Steve took Josh and John to his paralegal and had them file declarations supporting him.

This is what Josh wrote:

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell from November 4, 1992 divorce declaration): We also seem to do an awful amount of arguing over religion and where and when we have to go to church and what we have to believe. … I feel that it is a lot of scare tactics and brain washing and think the younger kids should be protected from that.

Dave Cawley: Steve even had Michael — then just 10 years old — file an affidavit. The judge was not impressed, calling the involvement of the boys in the case “concerning.” Even more concerning were the claims Josh’s older sister Jennifer offered the court.

In early November, Steve, Josh and John came over to the house. Terri was gathering some legal papers when Steve tried to grab them out of her hand. Terri resisted. The confrontation turned physical. Jennifer felt afraid and called 911. Steve, seeing her on the phone, told her to hang up. Jennifer dropped the phone, but grabbed the folder and ran out of the house. She headed for her car, where she intended to lock the court papers out of her father’s reach.

She didn’t make it to the car. Josh tackled Jennifer on the front lawn, wrapping his arms around her and overpowering her. Steve reached the front door and saw his kids wrestling and shouting at one another, in full view of the neighbors. It looked bad. He yelled at Josh to let go of Jennifer and come back inside the house.

Terri and Jennifer told the court that Steve and the boys were trying to brainwash Michael and turn him against his mom. Josh said the house was segregated, girls versus boys. Terri said both Josh and John had hit her in the past. Steve told the court that his wife and oldest daughter were just telling stories.

Jennifer Graves: He totally had them convinced that my mom was just twisting the facts when in reality it was my dad that had everything twisted out of shape. And you’d, he was amazing at that.

Dave Cawley: At first, the judge allowed Steve access to the home because it was where he kept his office. Steve used that permission as cart blanche to do whatever he wanted. When Terri put a padlock on her bedroom door, Steve tried to cut it.

Steve flew into a rage one day when Jennifer stopped him from taking a chair out of the house. He grabbed her by the hair, pulling so hard some strands separated from her scalp. In light of the violence, the judge granted Terri custody of both Michael and Alina. Josh and John were allowed to choose where they wanted to live. Both decided to stay with Steve.

Josh wrote a journal entry around that same time. He called his mom a “treasure seeker” who wanted to bleed Steve for all he was worth. He called his sister Jennifer a “witch.” Now, all of this was going on while Josh was an 11th grader at Central Valley High School. He did his best to keep up with his classwork in spite of the chaos. In the journal entry, he wrote:

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell from November, 2011 journal entry): Last week I took a test in Algebra and I couldn’t concentrate. I couldn’t even figure some of the problems. Algebra is my best subject.

Dave Cawley: Josh wrote that his mother was the reason he’d had to see a shrink more than once in the past, but didn’t go into detail about his self-harm or threatening behavior.

His personal relationships also suffered. Just a few weeks after learning of his parents’ divorce, he responded to a letter from Sarah, the girl he’d surprised with an unwanted kiss earlier that year. Sarah had gone off to college in Wyoming and wrote to Josh about how different college life was from high school. Josh felt she was talking down to him. He was livid.

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell from November 12, 1992 letter to Sarah): I’ve never said anything before when you offended me. I assumed it would stop. It will stop! If you have to keep saying other people are better than me, then don’t. Say it to someone else.

This was a major shift in tone. Josh’s prior letters to Sarah had been meek, almost puppy-doggish. He seemed to recognize that his emotions were running out of control.

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell from November 12, 1992 letter to Sarah): Sorry if I seem like a jerk. I’m just mad. I’m tired of you patronizing me. I’m better than most of the people I know. I’m not being conceited either. It’s just a fact. It’s about time you realize it.

Dave Cawley: For all of this anger, there were also hints of an internal conflict. Terri told the court there were times when Josh seemed troubled by the way Steve and John acted. She wrote in one declaration that Josh’s anger seemed to flare and subside. He was capable, she said, of thoughtfulness and cooperation.

In April of 1993, Josh wrote a letter to Sarah’s sister, Theresa. He complained about the divorce and in particular, his mom.

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell from April 13, 1993 letter to Theresa): I would kind of like my mom to be dead. Sshhh.

Dave Cawley: Steve kept pushing the boundaries. He repeatedly showed up at Michael and Alina’s school. He would take them off campus for lunch, even though he didn’t have legal custody. Steve told the kids it was their mom — not the courts — that kept them apart.

One time, Steve kept Michael for a full week beyond his court-authorized visitation. Terri worried Steve might try to kidnap the younger kids. She told the court Steve’s own parents had played what they called ‘the kidnap game’ with Steve when he was a child.

Jennifer Graves: There’s a pattern of abuse there that escalated through generations. My dad’s parents divorced when he was pretty young and then they played this game of kidnapping each of the children from each other. They would just see how long they could hide the children from the other parent.

Dave Cawley: Jennifer told me that didn’t happen with her siblings, at least not exactly.

Jennifer Graves: My dad didn’t physically kidnap the children, but he did that in a, in this mental way with this game that he would play mentally, where he would twist all the facts and make them believe that my mother was terrible. And so, in a sense, he was kidnapping them mentally.

Dave Cawley: Steve told the older boys Terri’s home was their home, too. They should come and go as they wished. Terri didn’t see it that way. On Mother’s Day, Josh and John went over the house and tried to force their way inside. Terri called the police.

Steve moved to Puyallup at the beginning of 1994. Josh by then was a high school senior and turning 18. He, John and Michael made the move to western Washington as well. Josh had only a few months to go to graduation but the move to Puyallup sapped him of motivation. He ended up at Rogers High School, where he didn’t know anyone and had no friends. He’d left a girlfriend behind in Spokane but any idea of maintaining a long-distance relationship disappeared when he met a girl named Mary Cox. Mary also attended Rogers High. Josh wanted to date Mary, but she wasn’t interested.

Josh managed to graduate high school. Afterward, he took a job working at a cabinet shop in the nearby city of Kent. He also tried to promote his own woodworking business, Powell Custom Furniture, which he operated out of a storage unit. That fall, Josh started classes at Pierce College.

Steve’s move to Puyallup didn’t bring calm to the Powell family. He chafed against the judge’s orders and found himself in contempt of court for not paying the bills and child support. Steve reported Terri to child protective services, claiming she’d neglected Michael and Alina. The state launched an investigation and decided Steve’s accusation was unfounded. 

The Powell family reunited in August of 1994 when Jennifer, the oldest of the kids, married Kirk Graves in the Portland, Oregon temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Steve was absent. Jennifer refused to invite her dad, a slight which he never forgave. Kirk and Jennifer had been together for roughly six months before tying the knot. Josh said he didn’t expect the marriage to last in a letter to his friend Theresa.

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell from January 6, 1995 letter to Theresa): If I were to place a wager on the outcome of their marriage I would have to bet against longevity. Who knows, maybe they will beat the odds.

Dave Cawley: In March of 1995, Josh bought a motorcycle. The bike was nothing too flashy — a Yamaha Radian — but it did make getting around between home, school and work a bit easier. It was cheaper than a car and Josh liked the speed.

Josh disliked living with his dad. Steve encouraged arguments among the kids, especially over religion. The house was a hostile place, not somewhere Josh wanted to bring friends. Not that Josh had many friends to hang out with — he didn’t really meet anyone at Pierce College. Mary Cox wasn’t the only girl to spurn him, either. He struck out over and over again in his efforts to find a girlfriend.

In the fall of 1995, he met a girl named Becky in his macroeconomics class. They hit it off, but Josh was reluctant to get too attached. He later wrote:

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell in undated note about past relationships): Becky liked to go dancing at the club with her girlfriends — I think dancing is an intimate activity to be shared with a loved one. I tend not to see the point in dancing with strangers. Becky also enjoyed the occasional drink. She went to bars with her girlfriends. One time while I knew her she went by herself since her friends weren’t available. I think this is not a ladylike activity. I have decided to direct more energy to finding a girl who has similar attitudes on love, intimacy, time, education, alcohol, and such issues.

Dave Cawley: Josh did well in school, keeping a GPA just below 4.0. That was impressive, considering he frequently slept through classes. The one exception was a course on American Sign Language, which he loved.

After completing his associates degree at Pierce College, Josh enrolled at the University of Washington in Seattle. His goal: become an architect.

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: Josh rented a dorm at Stevens Court for the fall semester of 1996. He was thrilled to find an ethernet jack in his room. It was a much faster internet connection than his dial-up modem at home. He connected his computer, set up his first email account and marveled at the ability to access an entire encyclopedia on CD.

His excitement for the university experience didn’t last. On his 5th day on campus, Josh’s dorm mates decided to throw a back-to-school bash. About 75 people crammed into the small apartment. They passed around beer and bud, encouraging Josh to drink and smoke pot with them. He refused. At one point, an inebriated roommate slammed Josh to the ground. The blow did more to damage Josh’s pride than his body. But the bullying wasn’t just physical. During another party, Josh’s roommates told him that one of the guests was gay and wanted to have sex with him. They were explicit in their description. Josh brushed it off but they continued to heckle him.

‘Isn’t that why you’re in college,’ they asked, ‘to experience new things?’

Josh didn’t quite know how to handle their taunts. He requested a room transfer, but it took weeks for the university to approve. Meantime, he fell behind in his classes.

In November, he wrote a letter to the University.

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell in November 6, 1996 email): Throughout my stay in that first apartment, I was bombarded with loud noises at all hours of the night. I was the subject of a sick joke that became sexual harassment. … My personal belongings were stolen by my roommates or their guests. And I was the victim of assault and battery.

Dave Cawley: The transfer finally came through. Josh found his second apartment at Stevens Court quiet and clean. His new roommate was an international student from India. They became fast friends. Josh joined a yacht club and took a drama class. On some nights, he let off steam by walking a couple of blocks down to the edge of Portage Bay.

Josh was living on his own for the first time in his life. It brought things into focus. He confided to his friend Theresa that his dad was a bad influence.

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell from November 26, 1996 email to Theresa): My dad seems to always get mad at me when he sees me. … My brother and I concluded that my dad resents me. He often says rude things to and about me. Actually the things he says are not true. He perceives them because he wants to. I try not to get mad, but it is hard sometimes.

Dave Cawley: A month later, Josh told Theresa he’d heard a story on the radio about depression. He believed he was depressed.

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: Josh’s mom was also in school. Terri had married Steve right out of high school. She’d never gone to college, instead staying home to raise her five kids. After the divorce, Steve repeatedly refused to pay child support or his portion of the bills. Terri had to make a living, so she enrolled in college.

It wasn’t enough. She actually had to ask the LDS Church for financial assistance. Steve took notice. He demanded she pay him child support, even though his earnings far outpaced hers. He also renewed his efforts to gain custody of Alina.

At the start 1997, Josh abandoned his ambitions in architecture. He decided to go all-in on drama, which he’d really enjoyed in high school. He signed up for a theater class at UW and tried out for a play, winning a part in a production of Lil’ Abner. His role was a crony. I mean, it wasn’t even a speaking part. Friends told Josh they were excited for him, but it must have come as a blow to his ego. He abandoned any aspirations of pursuing a career as an actor. His feelings of apathy and depression did not go away.

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: One experience at the University of Washington changed Josh more than any other. One day during the spring of 1997 he walked by a window and saw a pretty young woman sitting on the other side of the glass. She glanced up at him. Josh smiled. The woman smiled back. So, Josh dropped what he was doing and went to introduced himself.

Understand, Josh was never shy around girls. He overflowed with confidence and felt no apprehension about approaching total strangers. This time, he discovered the woman was a member of a group called Campus Crusade for Christ. She invited Josh to spend time with her friends, who were all Born Again Christians. Here’s what Josh wrote about the experience in a later letter.

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell form undated personal letter): One of their celebrations was in a big lodge where whole families were invited. Many of us were sitting on the floor. A cute little black baby boy came up to me and sat on my lap. He said, “I love you.” I knew he did and in my heart he was the only one who did love me at the time.

Dave Cawley: Remember, Josh was feeling secretly depressed and he was moved. He asked his new friends to make him Born Again.

Soon, the semester ended. Josh moved out of his campus apartment and back in with his dad in Puyallup. They didn’t get along, especially as Josh began to question the absence of religion from his life. His turn inward also revealed to Josh just how poorly he’d treated his mom as a teenager. Instead of returning to school that fall, he went back to Veradale to patch up his relationship with Terri.

The escape from Steve’s orbit had a profound effect on Josh. He examined his life, questioning why it always seemed so hard for him to connect with people, especially girls. Here’s what he wrote about it that September.

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell from September 19, 1997 journal entry): I think certain aspects of my character can use improvement. I may be in much easier person to be around with these minor adjustments. For instance, I say what I think. Sometimes I need to remember that people don’t want to hear some things.

Dave Cawley: Josh reconnected with cousins on his mother’s side of the family. They, like the little boy at the Campus Crusade for Christ retreat, showed him unconditional love. Terri encouraged her oldest son to attend some of the events for young adults put on by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell from undated personal letter): My mom suggested that I go to Family Home Evening. I decided to go hang out there ‘until I could make some ‘real’ friends at Eastern Washington University.’ But as I went each week, I found my old friends from junior high school. They were nice to me. And I made real friends in spite of the fact that I told them all I was not at all interested in their church.

Dave Cawley: Josh’s entire demeanor seemed to change. His sister, Jennifer, saw it.

Jennifer Graves: I don’t know what it was. It seemed like for just a little short time there was a little bit of a, y’know, a glimmer of light that came into Josh’s mind and heart.

Dave Cawley: That November, Josh’s old friend-turned-pen pal Jackie wrote him a letter asking about his sudden spiritual awakening.

“Kind of shocked me when you started talking about it,” Jackie wrote. “You used to be so rebellious about it. Mostly because of your mom.”

But Josh no longer resented his mom. He forgave her for the divorce and even started patching up the bruised relationship with Jennifer.

Jennifer Graves: He started going back to church and just overall, I would talk to him occasionally too. He just sounded like he was doing better. On a better path.

Dave Cawley: At the start of 1998, Josh enrolled in school again, this time at Eastern Washington University. He didn’t plan to stay there very long. He wanted to move to Utah, just like Jennifer had. Before that could happen, Josh met a young woman named Catherine Terry.

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: You heard a little bit from Catherine at the start of this episode. Here’s the rest of her story.

Catherine had grown up in Utah. She’d only moved to Spokane after graduating high school. Her aunt and uncle had invited her up to live with them, knowing she was coming off a bad break-up and was in need of a fresh start.

Catherine was an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In Spokane, she started attending a singles ward. That’s a congregation for unmarried church members. And that’s how she met Josh.

Catherine Terry Everett: The first time I met him was an activity that we went to and of course he immediately came up to me and introduced himself and of course at the time I was young and naive and quite smitten by him. Y’know and, he was really odd about the beginning of our relationship because he was like “I just want to be friends,” y’know, “nothing more than that. I’m not looking for anything more than that.” And so it’s like, ‘cause I was interested in him and obviously he was interested in me. And it just, it kind of, it went from, from there to a relationship.”

Dave Cawley: When Josh left to visit Jennifer in Utah for a few weeks, he spent every night talking to Catherine on the phone. It all moved too fast for Josh, though. At one point, he told Catherine they should break up. She was crushed. Josh returned from Utah a short time later and told her he still wanted to be friends. Catherine sucked it up and agreed. But Josh soon decided he wasn’t happy just being friends. He went to work re-establishing the relationship. Catherine was hesitant, but caved to pressure. She was 19. Josh was 22.

From that point, their relationship progressed very quickly. Josh asked Catherine to move in with him. Catherine’s uncle told her that shacking up with Josh was a bad idea. He said she needed to stay well away from Josh Powell. She ignored that advice.

Josh and Catherine spent the summer of 1998 living with Steve Powell in Puyallup. Josh was spending money freely, buying CDs and DVDs, kitchen appliances, a futon and all manner of other things. When he ran out of money, no problem. He spent what little Catherine had. When his old friend Jackie invited him to her wedding in North Dakota, Josh found he couldn’t afford the price of a bus ticket.

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell from July 24, 1998 letter to Jackie): I went to the Greyhound station Sunday to buy tickets, but my credit card was rejected. At the moment, I have absolutely no cash. I guess I’ve been spending more than I thought since I met Catherine.

Dave Cawley: Catherine met the rest of Josh’s family, with the exception of his older sister Jennifer who had moved to Utah. Josh’s kid sister Alina seemed to live on her computer, but she and Catherine got along pretty well. John was “standoffish.” Michael, Catherine thought, was quiet and sensitive.

Catherine Terry Everett: Mike he kind of, when we were there, he kind of followed Josh around like a puppy dog, y’know. But yeah, any time I, y’know, even hung around I think mainly his brothers on a one-on-one basis, Josh would come unglued and he’d be like “I don’t want you hanging out with them.” Y’know, I’m pretty sure he probably told me a bunch of stuff, y’know, that wasn’t true to get me to not have anything to do with them.

Dave Cawley: Josh didn’t talk to Catherine much about his family’s history. He didn’t go into detail about the divorce. As far as Catherine could tell, Josh’s dad was a nice guy. Steve was almost a father-figure, very kind to her and understanding.

Catherine Terry Everett: He and Josh they, they clashed a lot. They butted heads a lot and I don’t know if it’s just because Steve expected more of Josh hut yeah, there were times where they would get into it, yelling at each other about this that and the other.

Dave Cawley: Josh and Catherine didn’t stay in Puyallup more than a few months. They soon found an apartment in Seattle. Josh re-enrolled at UW for the fall semester. He encouraged Catherine to do the same, but she didn’t qualify for in-state tuition. So instead, she signed up for classes at a nearby community college.

Catherine had no job and no money for tuition. Josh told her to get a student loan, so she did. When the check came, Josh took it and deposited it into his own account. Catherine never saw that money. In fact, get this: she still owes on that debt to this day, 20 years later.

Josh picked up a job installing furniture for his dad. Catherine occasionally pitched in as well.

Catherine Terry Everett: I just remember every time I got my check, he’d have me sign it and then he’d stick it in his account.

Dave Cawley: Their apartment was tiny. Any time it rained — which was often in Seattle —  the roof leaked. Josh wanted to sue his landlord and started reading about the law.

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell from November 22, 1998 letter to Brenda Martin): I may as well be a lawyer. It is so easy.

Dave Cawley: In November, Josh wrote a letter to his aunt Brenda about his problems with the apartment. It turned into a rant about the legal system.

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell from November 22, 1998 letter to Brenda Martin): I am considering becoming a lawyer because I have no respect for that ilk. I would not be afraid to slaughter my opponents. … I would go after bad people of all sorts. Especially lawyers and judges.

Dave Cawley: This was the old Josh, not the young man who’d had the spiritual awakening. Still, he and Catherine continued to attend LDS Church meetings. They joined a congregation for families, even though they weren’t married.

Catherine Terry Everett: It was weird to me because he’s just like “if anybody asks if we’re married, don’t say no.” And, I mean, I even remember wearing just a band on my finger.

Dave Cawley: Josh told Catherine he didn’t want to get married and really never wanted to have kids. Catherine felt very uneasy about the situation. She knew they were not living the religion, but Josh wanted others to think that they were.

Catherine Terry Everett: We were active but I do just remember just feeling so out of place and like “this is not what we should be doing.” Y’know, “if we’re living together and we’re not married, we shouldn’t be going to church together like this and making people think that we’re married.”

Dave Cawley: Those church meetings should have acted as a social outlet for Catherine, but it didn’t work out that way. Any time she started to make friends, Josh would intervene.

Catherine Terry Everett: It was basically his family, him and school. That was it.

Dave Cawley: They had a landline phone in the apartment, but no cell phones. Josh rarely allowed Catherine to use his computer.

Catherine Terry Everett: The only think I ever really did on it was to email my friend. And of course, he sat right next to me as I emailed my friend, reading everything that I wrote, okaying it basically before I sent it.

Dave Cawley: Josh also made sure to read her journal. The only transportation they had was Josh’s motorcycle or the city bus. Catherine didn’t know how to drive a motorcycle and Josh never offered to teach her.

Catherine Terry Everett: He came up with this idea when we’d go grocery shopping to ask the grocery store for a large plastic bag. And we would put all of our groceries in it. He would put it in front of himself on his bike and then he’d be on his bike and I’d be on the bike and we would, we would go back home. And I’m, I can’t remember how many times we did that but I’m just like “this is insane.”

Dave Cawley: Y’know, in effect Josh made Catherine a prisoner. Yet, she kept telling herself she was happy. She was lying to herself.

Catherine Terry Everett: I remember one time getting into a fight with him and there was nowhere to go but the bathroom. And I went and locked myself in there and I remember putting my feet up against the door and him unlocking the door and pushing with all of his might to get in to me.

Dave Cawley: Josh’s control over Catherine wasn’t always so physical. One time, while they were living together, Catherine went to have her nails done. She felt pretty and proud of herself.

Catherine Terry Everett: And then he noticed that I had gotten my nails done and told me how stupid it was and how much he hated it. And I remember him being gone to do something and ripping these nails off of my fingers in order to appease him, only to have to go back to the salon to fix the damage that I had done.

Dave Cawley: That damage was worse than Catherine understood at first.

Catherine Terry Everett: I remember a night where, it was like right after I’d had them fixed and I could feel an infection in one of my fingers and waking up just crying and him not doing anything about it. He didn’t care. Just laying there and being like “you did it to yourself,” basically.

Dave Cawley: Catherine’s uncle in Spokane died while she was living in the Seattle apartment. Her whole family gathered for the funeral. Josh refused to let her go. Steve Powell even came to Catherine’s defense, offering to pay her way to Spokane. Josh wouldn’t hear of it. Catherine told me Josh hated her uncle for having tried to keep them apart.

Catherine Terry Everett: I was so devastated ‘cause I was just like, no matter how much I tried to persuade him to be like, “just let me go,” y’know. “I’m gonna come back.” He was like “no.”

Dave Cawley: In March of 1999, Catherine decided to take a trip home to Utah to visit a friend. Josh’s school schedule prevented him from joining her.

Catherine Terry Everett: It was when I got away, y’know, from him and I didn’t realize how much control he had over how I was and what I did and what I didn’t do and stuff like that.

Dave Cawley: Catherine realized how unhappy she’d become living with Josh. She decided not to return to Washington. She made a phone call to Josh and told him she would not be coming back. Josh put her stuff in storage until she could come up and get it. She made that trip the weekend before Thanksgiving. Josh insisted on seeing Catherine the night she and her new boyfriend, Dennis, arrived in Seattle. You heard how that played out at the beginning of this episode.

When Josh got home from that face-to-face with Dennis and Catherine at their hotel, he scribbled a short note on a scrap of paper. Here’s what he wrote.

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell from November 20, 1999 journal entry): Her fiancé was a jerk. He seemed like a possessive freak. Like a bouncer.

Dave Cawley: That was one of the few clues that led me to Catherine. I met she and Dennis at their house in Utah on a hot summer afternoon in 2018.

Catherine Terry Everett: C’mon in.

Dave Cawley: Thanks.

Dave Cawley: The window-mounted air conditioner droned as we talked. I’d printed out a copy of the note and showed it to them.

Dennis Everett: Holy smokes, this is when we were there. This is the weekend we were there.

Dave Cawley: Dennis and Catherine are married now.

Catherine Terry Everett: I don’t want to read it. I’m good. You can tell me about it later because I’m pretty sure he will. He’ll be like “hey, we need to talk about this.”

Dave Cawley: Let’s jump back again to 1999. The day after Josh dropped off the science center pass was Sunday. Dennis and Catherine drove around Seattle together. She showed him where she’d lived. He took her out to the suburbs, where he’d served a two-year mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Josh went to church himself that day. Then, he drove his dad’s minivan to the storage unit where he’d stashed Catherine’s things.

They all met that evening in the parking lot of a Petco store just off the I-5 freeway, not far from the University of Washington campus. It was also near the apartment Josh and Catherine had shared for about six months. Josh was wearing what he always wore — a white t-shirt, denim pants, sneakers and a black leather jacket.

Dennis Everett: And he shows up in I guess his dad’s van, a Windstar or something like that. And we got all the stuff out and he’s being really helpful again. He was helping us get everything to fit.

Dave Cawley: It was a challenge, but they managed to cram it all into Dennis’ car. When they were done, Catherine told Josh goodbye, for good, and sat down in the passenger seat. Dennis put the car in drive and pulled out of the lot, keeping an eye on the side mirror.

Dennis Everett: I looked back at him and I think he was waiting for a little while to leave because I think he was just kind of taking it in because I think there was just still that small hope that he might be able to pull something off ‘cause I don’t think he was over her completely yet, even though he wanted to give the impression that he was. But that was that.

Dave Cawley: The feeling of apprehension bled out of Catherine on the drive back to her home in Utah. A different emotion replaced it: relief. She’d escaped. She would never have to see Josh Powell’s face again.

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: Josh took some time to reflect on the implosion of their relationship. He decided it’d fallen apart because he’d stopped living his faith. Josh wanted to stay in Seattle but couldn’t afford his own place, so he recruited a couple of roommates from among his church friends. They moved into a place just west of the UW campus. Josh was not an easy guy to live with. He insisted doing all of the grocery shopping himself, but became upset when his roommates ate any of the food.

In May of 1999, Josh met a girl at church. Let’s call her Cindy. It’s not her real name, but I’m using it to protect her privacy. She had two sisters, I’ll call them Stella and Jamie — also not their real names.

Cindy was half-Brazilian and spoke fluent Portuguese. Josh started listening to audio tapes in an effort to learn the language. He started pressuring Cindy to date him. He showed up at her family’s house unannounced late one Tuesday evening. Here’s Josh’s own voice, from his audio journal.

Josh Powell (from June 22, 1999 audio journal recording): My general experience is that most girls hate that. But then, that’s the way I am. That’s the way I’d like to be.

Dave Cawley: He asked Cindy to step outside so that they could talk. And then he droned on and on, keeping her out past her 11:30 curfew.

Josh Powell (from June 22, 1999 audio journal recording): But I think I will need to be more careful in the future because I really don’t want to get her into trouble. I think it would be too bad to add stress to our relationship unnecessarily.

Dave Cawley: The next day, Josh wrote Cindy a long letter, describing his time with Catherine and his brief fall away from faith.

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell from June 23, 1999 letter to “Cindy”): After I came to the church, I had one big struggle and I lost hold for a while. I think even that was for my good though. The sun went down and I was alone. Only when I returned again was I free again.

Dave Cawley: He wrote another a few days later, confessing the turmoil of his parents’ divorce. He said he finally understood his sister Jennifer’s split from the rest of the family.

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell from June 27, 1999 letter to “Cindy”): She endured the second worst thing in the world. She made a choice to distance herself from my dad. … So now I will face the second hardest thing in the world. It is up to my dad when I will see him and how much.

Dave Cawley: Cindy didn’t have romantic feelings for Josh. She asked him not to show up at the house without calling. He kept finding excuses to visit though, liking dropping off some CDs or bringing over a pot for a plant. Again, this is Josh’s audio journal.

Josh Powell (from June 30, 1999 audio journal recording): I hadn’t really scheduled it. I just called her like an hour before I arrived and I just left it on the voicemail. So I had done what she asked me, in my own little way.

Dave Cawley: Cindy finally had to make it clear — she was not interested. Josh told her he wanted to remain friends. Then, over the next few months, he shifted his interest down the line to Cindy’s sister Stella. Josh’s journals reveal he knew it was abnormal behavior. This is from Josh’s written journal.

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell from October 8, 1999 journal entry): If there was a girl who is interested in my brother, and then she got interested in me I would probably be very cautious with her too. I might feel like I was her second choice.

Dave Cawley: It didn’t stop him. Josh’s feelings for Stella grew into a raging fire he just couldn’t seem to control. He continued to show up at her house or at her work, sometimes carrying a video camera. It made Stella uneasy. Josh meanwhile was dealing with feelings of jealousy and isolation.

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell from October 6, 1999 journal entry): Sometimes I feel like no one wants to be around me. … It is as though I am not allowed to feel sad sometimes. … I think a lot of people don’t understand that I have the same feelings as everyone else.

Dave Cawley: In early October, Josh confronted Stella. He brought her flowers and told her he wanted to be her boyfriend. He asked her to pray about him.

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell from October 5, 1999 letter to “Stella”): Ask your Father about me. And if there is any chance I might be good for you then please don’t start dating anyone else.

Dave Cawley: Stella, like her sister, felt put off by Josh’s high-pressure approach. She told him they should stay friends. Josh did back off for about a month. He tried dating around but struck out, again. He began to blame his dating troubles on his roommates, who he saw as freeloaders.

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell from December 4, 1999 journal entry): They don’t seem to appreciate all the things I do for them. … I owe them nothing. It makes me want to unshare and get rid of them.

Dave Cawley: In December, Josh poured his heart out to Stella in an email. As he’d done with Cindy, he described how his mom and dad’s divorce had scarred him. He talked about finding his way back to religion. He made a veiled reference to Catherine, his ex-girlfriend, calling her the first girl he’d ever really liked “deep down.” At the end, he told Stella she was then the sole object of his attention.

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell from undated letter to “Stella”): I want you to love me, [Stella]. I love you. When you said you wanted to be friends I tried to get over you, but no other girl comes close. The only thing I don’t love about you is that I can’t reach you.

Dave Cawley: But one of Josh’s roommates had secretly warned Cindy about what he was really like. Cindy talked to Stella. Word got back to Josh. He was furious over what he called his roommate’s “indiscretion.”

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell from December 10, 1999 journal entry): I just want them gone so I don’t mind being a nuisance to them. Boy will I be happy when they aren’t wearing out my nice things any more. … I probably shouldn’t get too mean with these guys, because it could affect my reputation.

Dave Cawley: In January, Josh executed his plan. From the audio journal.

Josh Powell (from February 17, 2000 audio journal recording): I let go of my apartment and I packed up all of my stuff. … I had a feeing I did not need to be in Seattle anymore. I had a feeling and it got stronger and stronger until I finally moved out of there.

Dave Cawley: Before leaving Seattle, he made a half-hearted attempt to woo Cindy and Stella’s cousin. It didn’t go well.

Josh Powell (from February 17, 2000 audio journal recording): I got away from a complicated situation with roommates and friends and complicated relationships criss-crossing every which way.

Dave Cawley: Josh moved back down to his dad’s place in Puyallup.

Josh Powell (from February 17, 2000 audio journal recording): It is kind of difficult living with my dad at times because of his attitudes against the Church. I have thought about it and it and realized that it is even more difficult for my little brother and sister who have never tasted the gospel.

Dave Cawley: In March, Josh took a road trip to his sister Jennifer’s house in Utah. He was there to attend the biannual general conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He was also there to meet a young Mormon woman he’d found on a website for Latter-day Saint singles.

Josh Powell (from December 13, 2000 audio journal recording): I went down there to Utah to see her. Spent a couple weeks and a few thousand miles. Furthest I’ve ever driven for a date. That was a great experience although obviously it didn’t work out.

Dave Cawley: That’s an understatement. Let me explain why. Josh made just a couple of references to this woman in his writings. I found her full name buried in the thousands of files police later retrieved from his computer.

Now, during our first conversation this woman had told me something about Josh had given her the creeps. She couldn’t put her finger on what. Josh’s own journals may shed some light on it. After their date, Josh wrote about visiting the Provo, Utah temple. He saw young married couples there, with happy expressions on their faces. He thought it was the same look he’d seen on the face of the girl he’d driven so far to meet.

Eric Openshaw (as Josh Powell from March 31, 2000 journal entry): We have had that understanding that when we are together, it is about each other. … Even if I may not marry [her], I was thinking about how sweet she is toward me.

Dave Cawley: He barely knew this girl. He bought her a rose and wrote a letter confessing his feelings. Are you seeing a pattern here? It was the same approach he’d used — unsuccessfully — on the sisters in Seattle. He completely failed to understand she thought he was a weirdo.

Josh didn’t tell his sister Jennifer about those dates, even though he was staying at her house at the time. Jennifer wasn’t surprised when I told her about it.

Jennifer Graves: He has always been just a little bit odd. During that period, I think that the oddness was maybe less pronounced, but it was still there. And we knew it.

Dave Cawley: Josh went back to Washington even more committed to his religion. It put him in direct conflict with his dad. Here’s Josh’s audio journal.

Josh Powell (from December 13, 2000 audio journal recording): I was living with my dad for about six months, until I finally got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore. My dad is of course a non-member and it was starting to wear me down to have to be around alcohol in the house and cussing and occasional anti-Mormon discussions. So my mom suggested I get an apartment in Tacoma. I hadn’t really considered that because I wasn’t planning on staying in Tacoma. Well, I felt like I wanted to get the heck out of there.

Dave Cawley: Josh found an apartment in Tacoma, this time by himself with no roommates. He joined the church’s College Heights ward and enrolled in the business school at the University of Washington Tacoma. He made new friends at church. There were a lot of girls in his orbit, but none wanted to get serious.

Josh Powell (from February 17, 2000 audio journal recording): I often feel like I just can’t get through to any girl that I really like, that the only girls that pay attention to me are the ones that I’m not interested in anyway.

Dave Cawley: That fall, he went to an Institute class with his friend Tim Marini. Institutes of religion are sort of like seminaries. They’re places where college-age church members go to study their faith and to socialize. At the end of one Institute class, Josh spied a young girl who looked somewhat familiar.

Josh Powell (from December 13, 2000 audio journal recording): Well I didn’t know who she was. She was about to leave after Institute and I called her back and I was like “hey come here, talk to me for awhile” and she did.

Dave Cawley: Her name was Susan Cox. As they chatted, she asked if he knew how to play the piano. Josh said “maybe a little.” Susan said she remembered Josh having played the piano at her house years ago. He’d come over to see her older sister, Mary. Again, are you seeing the pattern here? Josh made a habit of moving his affections between sisters when rebuffed.

Susan would later write that Josh “socially attacked” her that day. He was 24, she was just barely 19 — the same age Catherine had been when she first started dating Josh. Susan would soon become Catherine 2.0.

On the next episode of Cold:

Josh Powell (from January 5, 2001 audio journal recording): Tonight I asked my sweet Susan to marry me and she said yes.

Cold season 1: Prelude – Full episode transcript

Dave Cawley: This can’t be the man I’ve seen so many times on TV. He looks thinner, but at the same time weathered. More tired. Worn down. He steps out of a dark gray Dodge Caravan wearing a jacket and a knit cap in the vibrant blue and green of the Seattle Seahawks. A chill autumn breeze blows, rattling wind chimes in a nearby tree.

(Sound of wind chimes)

Dave Cawley: It ruffles the bit of unkempt gray hair peeking out from beneath the hat. I recognize this man, or at least I think I do. It’s hard to be sure from where I’m standing, up the hill a ways in the Woodbine Cemetery of Puyallup, Washington. I watch as he carries flowers, a toy car and a small stuffed animal over to a grave next to the winding cemetery road. That is when I’m sure. He’s Chuck Cox.

I walk down and meet Chuck beside the grave of his grandsons, Charlie and Braden. Their dad, Josh Powell, killed the boys and himself in February of 2012 by setting fire to his rented home. At the time, Josh was the sole suspect in the disappearance of his wife, Susan, from their home in West Valley City, Utah. Susan was Chuck’s daughter. She’s never been found.

Susan Powell (from February, 2001 audio journal recording): Josh is mean to me but only because I was mean to him and then he was mean back to me so I was mean to him more. And now he’s being mean to be again. But I still love him, even though he won’t kiss me.

Dave Cawley: The voice you’re hearing now belongs to Susan. She recorded that while dating Josh, way back at the start of 2001, when she was 19.

Susan Powell (from February, 2001 audio journal recording): And maybe he’ll deserve and earn and actually get his Valentine’s Day gift. Maybe. Depends what he does for me.

Dave Cawley: I found that clip among hours and hours of audio journals that Josh recorded in his early 20s, both before and after meeting Susan.

Josh Powell (from December 13, 2000 audio journal recording): I’m not as good a person, rather depressed, moody, irritable when I get away from things that I know are right.

Dave Cawley: These recordings have never before been made public. They’re just a small piece of what’s to come.

Josh Powell (from December 13, 2000 audio journal recording): It really shows that she cares for her to come over here…

Dave Cawley: My name is Dave Cawley. I’ve worked as a journalist in Salt Lake City for more than 15 years. In that time, I’ve covered a lot of stories and seen some pretty crazy things. But no story has stuck with me more than the unsolved disappearance of Susan Powell in December of 2009. Maybe it’s because Susan and I were the same age, or because we both came from Mormon families. The radio station where I used to work was in West Valley, the same place Susan lived with Josh and her boys. We shopped at the same stores, ate at some of the same restaurants.

About three years ago, I presented my news director at KSL — where I work now — with a proposition: why don’t we do our own investigation of Susan’s disappearance? Police had just declared the case cold and opened up their records. We got thousands upon thousands of pages of documents — police reports, witness interviews, social worker notes, psychological evaluations, emails, journals — on and on and on and on.

What might we learn from all of that about Josh — about how his mind worked? Or how about the rumors that’d gone around, claiming he’d spent time with strippers or had a secret mistress?

Andrew Andersen: He was a sex addict, you know that, right?

Dave Cawley: Uh, hmm. Could we prove that? What about talk of Susan having planned to divorce Josh?

Amber Hardman: I mean that was the first thing I said. ‘Susan, leave. You need to just leave.

Dave Cawley: How about motive?

Linda Bagley: He just didn’t want to have to deal with an ex. He wanted to have control of everything.

Dave Cawley: Or what if, as Josh’s family suggested, Susan ran away? Could we find any clues about where she might be, or rule out where she’s not?

Tony Gallegos: But even still some of those places they, there could have been something in there that we wouldn’t have seen or discovered because it was remote or in the bottom of a shaft.

Dave Cawley: I went to work. I submitted new public records requests, obtaining more than 3,000 never-before-released files from computers that belonged to Josh and his father, Steve. I conducted new interviews, in Utah, Oregon and Washington. I went in-depth with the retired detective who led the investigation.

Ellis Maxwell: It was a theory that he poisoned or sedated Susan…

Dave Cawley: I also tracked down people who’ve never publicly shared their stories, some not even with the police.

Catherine Everett: I didn’t want it to be like ‘oh hey, look at me, I want to be a part of this too’ because I didn’t.

Dave Cawley: That’s Catherine. Her story is absolutely wild. You’ll hear it in episode one. In this podcast, we’re going go through the case together. We’re gonna hear Susan, in her own words, describe her crumbling marriage.

Susan Cox Powell (from July 29, 2008 home video): Hope everything works out and we’re all happy and live happily ever after as much as that’s possible.

Dave Cawley: We will retrace the route of Josh’s unlikely winter camping trip, the night his wife disappeared. We’ll hear about how police might have missed solving the case by just 10 minutes.

Ellis Maxwell: I go to release the vehicle and he’s gone and patrol officers don’t know where he left and went to. He didn’t say anything, he just up and left.

Dave Cawley: We’ll peer into the depths of abandoned mines, as we follow searchers into the dusty wastes of the Utah desert.

Louis Amodt: It was never out in the public everywhere we looked and how soon after she disappeared that we spent time looking.

Dave Cawley: We’ll scour the hard drives police seized with search warrants.

Cheney Eng-Tow: There were items that were encrypted that were never gotten into, but who knows. Is there something on there that is incriminating or not?

Dave Cawley: We’ll hear Steve Powell describe a disturbing obsession with his own daughter-in-law… and how she reacted to it.

Dax Guzman: I guess… we know where Josh got it from. His dad is one messed up dude.

Dave Cawley: We’ll glimpse the horrors police found in Steve’s home as they closed in on Josh. This is all pretty heavy. But amid all of that terrible darkness, we’ll see how people tied to the case have used their experiences to create light.

Kiirsi Hellewell: There have been people that have contacted us and said “because of her story, I recognize the signs and I got out before I ended like her.”

Amber Hardman: Like her, you may feel very, very, very trapped. You may feel like there’s no other way out. And you might be in a very scary situation but people are willing to help and there are ways to get out. Safe ways…

Nancy: If it can help anybody, with anything, any portion of this story, it’s worth it to me to say something.

Dave Cawley: I hope you’ll subscribe, take this journey with me and, if you find the experience valuable, share it with your friends. Welcome to Cold.

Cold season 2, bonus 2: Location, Location, Location – Full episode transcript

Dave Cawley: I’m standing at a gravel pull-out on the side of the Old Snowbasin Road. I’ve just finished putting a microphone on Terry Carpenter, tucking it under his collar in a futile effort to shield it from the breeze.

Terry Carpenter: He says this is where it was. Right up in here.

Dave Cawley: It’s May of 2021 and I’ve met Terry here on a bluebird Saturday so he can show me where Doug Lovell claimed to have buried the body of Joyce Yost. We walk a path between thick patches of oak brush, up and over a berm a hundred feet or so from the road.

Terry Carpenter: This is one of the first places that he, this was all flat. These, these have been added since then.

Dave Cawley: We come to a clearing. I can see the east face of Mount Ogden four miles off in the distance, the ski runs carved through the trees below the peak still decked with winter snow. To my left, the ground drops away to a valley. To my right, it rises to a ridge. I’m impressed in this moment how much smaller the terrain makes the search area seem compared to what I’d pictured. It’s still large — say, three or four acres — but not so expansive as to make a search impossible.

Terry Carpenter: Anything that would indicate there was a disturbance there, we dug in those areas and we, with the permission of the Forest Service we dug that area to try to locate what we thought might be Joyce’s grave.

Dave Cawley: There are signs of recent use all over the place: campfire rings, beer cans, shell casings. I pick my way into the oak brush at one point and find a rusted out metal drum surrounded by partially burned scrap lumber. It’s obvious people come here with some regularity. Terry’s eyes grow distant as he talks about that search back in the summer of ’93.

Terry Carpenter: We, we just exhausted every effort we could think of hoping that we could come across something that might produce Joyce.

Dave Cawley: What’s most frustrating is the uncertainty.

Michael Bouwhuis: Let’s suppose that he did remember exactly where he’d put the body…

Dave Cawley: This is Michael Bouwhuis, the attorney who represented Doug during his 2015 murder trial.

Michael Bouwhuis: …the challenge is that after eight years there wouldn’t be hardly anything left, if anything at all.

Dave Cawley: In an interview for our companion podcast Talking Cold, Michael said he learned the police in ’93 had not consulted a forensic anthropologist before they started sticking shovels in the ground.

Michael Bouwhuis: And so if Doug left her at the spot where he took the authorities, the way that they processed the scene would have produced nothing. … He could have been telling the truth that she was here and simply was either moved from that spot — a bear certainly could have done that, a mountain lion could have done that — or through the process of disarticulation scattered to the wind.

Dave Cawley: Disarticulation is when a body comes apart. The connective tissues holding the skeleton together break down in the later stages of decomposition, leading to scattering of individual bones. With a badly disarticulated set of remains, bone chips or a single tooth might be all that’s left.

Michael Bouwhuis: So if the body had been there, eight years earlier, the scene was obliterated.

Terry Carpenter: You would’ve thought with the animals that roam the area of natural habitat, coyotes, they would’ve dug that up. That something would’ve been exposed on the surface. Somebody would have found a bone. (Sighs)

Dave Cawley: Terry asserts Joyce was never here, that Doug lied. But Michael contends that’s not the only plausible explanation.

Michael Bouwhuis: It could be that he didn’t know at all, he didn’t remember it but he thought ‘if I act like I do and I put an effort in and they appreciate that, maybe they cut me a break.’ Or it could be that he knew it wasn’t there, it was somewhere else.

Dave Cawley: Somewhere else. This is a bonus episode of Cold, season 2: Location, Location, Location. From KSL Podcasts, I’m Dave Cawley. We’ll continue after this break.

[Ad break]

Dave Cawley: Any conversation of where Joyce Yost’s remains might be — if not where Doug Lovell claimed  — requires engaging in speculation. During Cold season 2, you heard a few different places mentioned, like the ghost town of Yost, or even Causey Reservoir. But in this episode, we’re going to visit three other places where Joyce Yost’s remains might rest. They are: a cement dump site near where Doug worked in 1985, behind the cabin Doug’s family owned at Sunridge Highlands and in the Monte Cristo Range where a wildlife officer spotted Doug and Rhonda weeks or months after Joyce Yost disappeared.

If we’re going to draw any meaningful conclusions though, we need to buttress our conjecture with fact. So let’s review what we know, starting with the timeline of Joyce’s murder. When Rhonda Buttars first confessed her involvement, she said she’d dropped Doug off outside Joyce’s apartment…

Rhonda Buttars (from May 1, 1991 police recording): I’d say, I don’t know. 11, between 11 and 1.

Terry Carpenter (from May 1, 1991 police recording): Ok.

Dave Cawley: …between 11 p.m. and 1 a.m. In later court testimony, Rhonda would describe seeing Joyce’s car parked outside the apartment, which would place the drop-off sometime after Joyce returned home from the officer’s club around midnight. Rhonda said she’d received a call from Doug the following morning telling her to meet him at the Wilshire, a movie theater in South Ogden…

Rhonda Buttars (from May 1, 1991 police recording): Umm, I would say 4 to 5 in the morning.

Dave Cawley: …between 4 and 5 a.m. Rhonda based this on her observation that the sky was dark at the time of the call but just starting to get light when she’d made it to the Wilshire.

Rhonda Buttars (from May 1, 1991 police recording): What time does the sun come up? 6?

Terry Carpenter (from May 1, 1991 police recording): I’m not really sure, then. I think maybe around 5.

Dave Cawley: I’ve checked an almanac. Sunrise in Ogden, Utah on August 11, 1985 was at 6:34 a.m. The sky would’ve been fully light by then, so we need to wind back the clock about an hour to get to the start of the pre-dawn twilight. That would likely place Doug’s phone call between 5 and 5:30.

Rhonda’s account, if accurate, tells us Doug window’s of opportunity was open a maximum of five hours, from 12:30 to 5:30. I stress, this is the max. What was Doug doing during that time? By his own account, he entered Joyce’s apartment, scuffled with her on the bed, cut her, bandaged her bleeding wound, stripped the bedsheets, flipped the blood-stained mattress, remade the bed and packed her suitcase. Rhonda said Doug had told her this all took “quite awhile.”

Rhonda Buttars (from May 1, 1991 police recording): So he said that took quite awhile and that he was in her apartment for quite awhile.

Dave Cawley: But what’s awhile? 15 minutes? An hour? Rhonda wasn’t specific, so we have to make an assumption. As a rough guess, let’s say Doug’s activities in the apartment took half an hour. I’d consider that a conservative estimate. That leaves, at most, four-and-a-half hours for Doug to take Joyce out to her car, travel to wherever he took her, conceal her body, then drive back and find a payphone in order to call Rhonda. Doug had premeditated Joyce’s murder, so we can assume he knew in advance where he was headed and drove straight there and back.

Terry Carpenter (from May 1, 1991 police recording): How was, what’s he acting like, what’s he, how is he coming across to you?

Rhonda Buttars (from May 1, 1991 police recording): He’s kinda nervous, kinda not, not really nervous.

Dave Cawley: Trim off a little more time to account for Doug’s actions at the drop site and we’re left with a maximum of four hours for travel, round-trip. Which means the drop site was likely within a roughly two-hour drive one-way from South Ogden. The Old Snowbasin Road site Doug identified as being the place he left Joyce’s body is a 30-minute drive from Joyce’s apartment. One could argue it’s too close. It would’ve left Doug with too much time.

Remember as well that Rhonda said Doug’d told her he’d taken Joyce “up by Causey.” And Doug told Rhonda in the second wire recording at the prison Joyce was in the mountains, at a place where she was covered by years of accumulated leaves. With all that in mind, let’s take a look at our first alternate theory for the location of Joyce Yost’s remains: the cement dump site.

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: Let me introduce you to “Dangerous” Dan and his wife LuAnne.

“Dangerous” Dan: You’re playing on an old fart’s memory.

LuAnne: (Laughs)

“Dangerous” Dan: Good Lord. Let’s get it straight for the record. I’m almost 70.

Dave Cawley: You don’t look it.

“Dangerous” Dan: Oh yeah, you funny guy too.

Dave Cawley: I’m not using Dan’s last name, at his request. But I can tell you he and LuAnne were neighbors of Doug Lovell’s dad and step-mom back in the early ’80s. In fact, they were in a bowling league with Monan and his second wife, Dorothy.

“Dangerous” Dan: We were on the same team. We went to, at the time it was called Davis Lanes in Layton. … On a regular weekly basis we were going bowling so, it was a mixed-doubles. Husband and wife and husband and wife. Or boyfriend and girlfriend or nowadays boyfriend and boyfriend or girlfriend and girlfriend.

Dave Cawley: To look at Dan now, you might not peg him for a bowler.

“Dangerous” Dan: For missing that finger, I carried a 202 average.

Dave Cawley: Yes, Dan is missing his right pinky and left ring fingers as a result of a mishap when he was a teenager in the ‘60s.

“Dangerous” Dan: When I was a younger kid I played with explosives. And it blew off two of my fingers, split my hand in half, got a scar on my right leg from my knee clear up to my crotch. Busted both of my eardrums. That’s why occasionally I go ‘eh.’

Dave Cawley: That’s also the origin of his nickname “dangerous.”

“Dangerous” Dan: It was my friend that convinced me to make the little bomb.

Dave Cawley: I don’t have enough time to tell you the whole story of how Dan lost his fingers. Suffice it to say, he liked to make rockets as a teen, but had more understanding of chemistry than safety procedure.

“Dangerous” Dan: The powdered aluminum that was in this with it just burnt the holy hell out of my face. I didn’t even feel that until I walked, was in the hospital. … That’s when they told me that the finger’d blown off and the neighbor found the finger stuck on the wall.

LuAnne: Oh my gosh.

“Dangerous” Dan: I thought ‘oh my God.’ (Laughs)

LuAnne: Gross.

Dave Cawley: Dan found more constructive outlets for his chemistry hobby as he grew. In the mid-‘70s he took a job at the Ideal Ready Mix cement plant in Layton, Utah. He and his new bride, LuAnne, bought a house. They joined the bowling league where they met the Lovells, who lived just up the street. Monan was 20 years older than Dan — literally old enough to be his father — but they became friends. LuAnne told me back then, the Lovells never talked much about Doug.

LuAnne: I do know that the problems that Monan was having with Doug, Dorothy was very reluctant to speak about him in front of Monan because Monan was always very defensive of him.

Dave Cawley: And maybe that’s because around this time Doug landed in prison for armed robbery. A little while after Doug got out, probably sometime in ’84, Monan and Dorothy brought him to meet Dan and LuAnne at their home. Monan had been urging Doug to get his life right and to stop committing crimes. The first step to going straight was getting a job.

“Dangerous” Dan: So they asked me if I could possibly get their son — which is Monan’s son, not Dorothy’s son — a job up at where I worked which was at the time Ideal Ready Mix.

Dave Cawley: Multiple people who’ve spoken to me on condition of anonymity have described feeling baffled by the hold Doug seemed to have over his father. They’ve said Monan was a good man who struggled to understand or accept the deceitful decisions of his youngest son.

“Dangerous” Dan: I know when Dorothy asked me to, when they asked us to, if I could get him a job up there that he had been a problem child but I don’t recall if they ever came out and said what kind of problems.

Dave Cawley: Doug was a terror as a teen. One anonymous source told me “Doug’s high was seeing other people suffer.” I’ve heard from multiple sources Doug was credibly accused of a sexual assault — independent of the Joyce Yost case — but that it never resulted in a criminal charge. People who knew Doug in the 1970s are still terrified of him today.

LuAnne told me when her friends the Lovells brought Doug over to her home to ask for help finding him a job, Doug’s step-mother took her aside with a warning.

LuAnne: She just basically was saying ‘beware.’

Dave Cawley: Yeah. Ok.

“Dangerous” Dan: But back then I was a pretty strong, healthy little feller. So could I whomp him around? I’m sure I could.

Dave Cawley: In any event, Dan agreed to see what he could do for Doug.

“Dangerous” Dan: Yes, I got him a job up there.

Dave Cawley: By that point, Dan had nearly a decade of experience driving and delivering concrete. He knew how to route his jobs and time the mix so he showed up on site ready to pour. He did what he could to pass that knowledge on to Doug.

“Dangerous” Dan: I was the actual one that trained him. … He seemed to be dependable at the time that when he did get the job up there.

Dave Cawley: Remember, this was a time before turn-by-turn navigation. Cement truck drivers had to know the roads and developments for miles around.

“Dangerous” Dan: We had paperwork of subdivision plats and where the addresses were. … I’m sure Doug had one of those so that, give him a fairly good knowledge of the area in Davis County. North and south, east and west.

Dave Cawley: Dan and Doug had a lot of time to talk during those weeks of training. At one point, Dan’d heard a restaurant a few miles up the road…

“Dangerous” Dan: That was called the Dew Drop Inn.

Dave Cawley: …had been robbed…

“Dangerous” Dan: I thought ‘uh oh, we got problems.’

Dave Cawley: He wondered if his new apprentice might’ve had a hand in the heist.

“Dangerous” Dan: And when I asked him, he didn’t really come out and say yes or no but man, was the sweat pouring down his head so I assumed — so just that’s my assumption — that he did.

Dave Cawley: To be clear: Doug Lovell was never arrested or charged in connection with a robbery at the Dew Drop Inn. Dan told me Doug didn’t seem to make many friends at the cement plant. Dan wasn’t able to spend much time with him either, once the training period ended.

“Dangerous” Dan: He was more or less a loner from what I recall.

Dave Cawley: Dan stopped seeing Doug at all after several months. Dan didn’t know it, but Doug had been arrested for DUI and had faked an injury and gone out on worker’s comp to avoid being fired. Dan told me he doesn’t remember when he first discovered Doug was no longer working at Ideal Ready Mix. But he does recall the other drivers talking when they heard their former coworker was a murder suspect.

“Dangerous” Dan: I don’t know if they were ever approached by the police to talk to management but us drivers did talk and discuss a few things.

Dave Cawley: One of those “things” was the possibility Doug might’ve used his knowledge of subdivision plats and concrete pours to find a perfect hiding place for the body of Joyce Yost.

“Dangerous” Dan: You go out to a construction site. You pour footings and foundation. Well, you know the floor and the garage floor’s gonna about be poured as well. So if the middle of the night, could you go out and dig a hole in the graded floor and then grade it out and make it look nice?

Dave Cawley: The problem with this idea is Doug went out on worker’s comp at the start of June. Joyce didn’t disappear until mid-August, so the likelihood of Doug knowing where a pour was happening that much later is pretty low. But the drivers did have another theory.

“Dangerous” Dan: A lot of us assumed that he could have buried her in where we, the cement truck drivers, were dumping our excess concrete at the end of the day which was directly south of South Weber Basin.

Dave Cawley: Back in the ‘80s, Dan and his fellow drivers knew of a place about a mile-and-a-half up the road from the cement plant where they’d unloaded their leftovers.

“Dangerous” Dan: I’d have no damn clue how many yards would be there. Thousands and thousands of yards of concrete. Thousands of ‘em.

Dave Cawley: When Dan says a “yard” of concrete, he’s talking about a cubic yard. Dan took me to the general location, but there’s no sign of the concrete dump site today. That’s because a subdivision has been built on top of it. I was able independently verify the story of the dump site though by contacting the son of the former owner of that property. For decades, this man’s family had owned a large field just south of Utah State Highway 193. At the far southwestern corner of the field, the family had excavated a pit. You can actually see the pit on aerial photos from ‘70s. I’ve posted one such image at thecoldpodcast.com so you can see for yourself. At some point, the family had given permission for the cement truck drivers to fill in the pit with their leftovers.

“Dangerous” Dan: People’ll over order, your tax dollars at work, by 10 yards of concrete. … And is it heavy? Each yard of concrete weighs a little over 5,000 pounds. So yes. And does it get hard? You’re not going to dig through it. No way in hell you’re going to.

Dave Cawley: The theory goes, Doug would’ve known about the pit from having dumped there himself. He could’ve placed Joyce in the pit on the night of the murder. Later the next day — and for who knows how many days afterward — drivers like Dangerous Dan would’ve poured concrete over top of the body.

“Dangerous” Dan: Be a hell of a tombstone. … But that’s not the way people should be buried.

Dave Cawley: It’s a creative idea and one that might explain why Doug might not take police to the site, even today: there’d be no way to recover the body. But a couple pieces don’t line up.

First, the timing. From Joyce’s apartment to the concrete pit is a drive of only 10 to 15 minutes. Remember, Doug had upwards of four hours to fill, presumably by driving. This theory would’ve left him with hours of idle time. Second, Doug had told Rhonda he’d left Joyce’s body out in the open. He’d worried hunters might find her, so he’d returned to bury Joyce sometime later. This doesn’t make any sense if Joyce had already been covered over by hardened concrete. And third, the risk of discovery. Ideal Ready Mix used what are known as Rite-Way trucks that pour from the front. So a driver emptying excess concrete into the pit would’ve been looking straight into it while doing so.

“Dangerous” Dan: It’s hard to recall back that far ago. And when you do hear of the evil that Doug did, you try to put it aside and forget it. … I mean, it’s gonna come to a time that he has to meet his maker. And he ain’t going to take too kindly. That’s one thing we’ve been taught. Murder is not good in the eyes of the Lord.

Dave Cawley: Yeah, I seem to remember there a commandment about that one.

“Dangerous” Dan: Thou shalt not kill.

Dave Cawley: Dan didn’t tell me he believes Joyce’s body is at the concrete dump site, only that it could be. He’s aware it could just as easily be at another place, perhaps one he and LuAnne once visited with Monan and Dorothy Lovell.

“Dangerous” Dan: They’d invited us up to their cabin and we went there what, once or twice?

LuAnne: Yeah.

Dave Cawley: The Lovell family cabin.

“Dangerous” Dan: It’s a little bit of a bugger to find.

LuAnne: Couldn’t find the place now if we wanted to.

“Dangerous” Dan: No. I just remember the long road to it and then once we get inside hang a left. Go up the other side and then hang another left and they’re off to the right.

LuAnne: Yeah.

“Dangerous” Dan: Where those turns are at out of, have no clue of it now. Been so doggone long.

Dave Cawley: He might not remember, but I know exactly how to find the cabin. Because now I’ve been there, too.

[Scene transition]

(Sound of wind through leaves)

Dave Cawley: A light breeze rustles the tops of the aspen trees.

Anthropogist: Uh, the good news really for the dogs, because when we’re in situations where bone might be exposed in the sunlight, the odor’s so low they don’t pick it up but they will in the shade. Lots of shade provided. So I like that for the noses.

Dave Cawley: It’s about 7:30 a.m. on July 9, 2021 and I’m sitting on the deck of a cabin in the Sunridge Highlands area of northern Utah. A forensic anthropologist is providing an informal briefing of what’s about to happen: a search for the remains of Joyce Yost.

Anthropologist: So, uh, if you’re comfortable in discussing, y’know, what we’d be looking for it would now be skeletal material. And likely skeletal material that’s been scavenged and scattered and chewed on.

Dave Cawley: A search by cadaver dogs of the property Doug Lovell’s dad Monan owned, prior to Monan’s death in 2014. It feels a bit surreal standing here, knowing its a place many people believe Doug might have taken Joyce, a place that for decades has been off-limits to police. But whatever I’m feeling, it must be tenfold for retired police Sgt. Terry Carpenter. We drove up together as guests of the searchers, here to observe and to share whatever input we can.

Officer: Terry, how you been?

Terry Carpenter: Good. Good, good. How ‘bout you?

Officer: Just happy to be here.

Dave Cawley: The drive from Joyce’s apartment to this cabin takes about an hour and fifteen minutes. That’s within range for Doug on the night of the murder. But the last eight miles are on a bumpy dirt road and you have to pass through two locked gates. No key, no access. Terry and I watch as staff from the Weber County Attorney’s Office unload gear. With them are search and rescue team members, CSI specialists and four dog teams from a non-profit organization called “Colorado Forensic Canines.”

Bryan Bennett: Colorado Forensic Canine specializes in clandestine graves or old, old burials, old umm, y’know years-old type stuff. Their dogs are trained to look specifically for small amounts of odor, small particles, small pieces of bone. So that’s what we’re doing.

Dave Cawley: That’s Brad Bennett. He’s volunteer commander of Weber County’s search and rescue team and himself a former search dog trainer.

Bryan Bennett: Y’know, moisture and shade is a better, is better for preserving that odor than just laying out in the sunlight. So, y’know if it’s been buried it could uh, produce odor for awhile.

Dave Cawley: The Colorado Forensic Canines website says they don’t accept any payment for their services. I’m told they drove seven hours to be here on their own dime, with Weber County and the Utah Cold Case Coalition pitching in to cover their lodging and food expenses. Colorado Forensic Canines maintains a strict “no media” policy, so I’m not allowed to interview their team.

(Sound of dog whimpering)

Dave Cawley: The closest I get is just dangling my microphone over one of the dogs.

Officer: I don’t know what the dog has to say this morning.

Dave Cawley: Hey, that’s the one I want to talk to the most.

Officer: (Laughs)

Dave Cawley: Bryan Bennett says the dog teams did a lot of homework prior to making this trip. They consulted a geologist to get an idea how odor from a buried body might travel through the types of soil found on this particular mountain.

Bryan Bennett: Human decomposition is what it is. So… a body decomposes into the ground, that ground absorbs the human decomposition odor.

Dave Cawley: They studied the types of vegetation that grow here.

Bryan Bennett: That’s what this area is, is an aspen grove, it’s just all aspens.

Dave Cawley: When the searchers deploy, their dogs disappear into the waist-high underbrush. I can only keep track of where they are by listening for the bells the dogs each wear.

(Sound of bell on dog)

Dave Cawley: There’s a ravine that runs behind the cabin. That’s where the search is focused, the theory being it would’ve been an easy place for Doug to conceal Joyce’s body thanks to thick tree and ground cover there.

Bryan Bennett: The slope of the hill that we’re working on will, starts off fairly gradual, maybe 20 degrees but then it slopes off to about 38, 40 degrees y’know, as it gets farther down the hill.

Dave Cawley: If you talk to enough people about the Joyce Yost case, you’ll eventually hear some interesting stories about the Lovell family cabin. Like this one, Joyce’s daughter Kim Salazar shared when she recently visited Sunridge Highlands.

Kim Salazar: Some neighbor said that they’d seen him here in a truck, he had something large enough that it was wrapped in a tarp in the back of his truck and he left. And when he came back later that day whatever was in the tarp in the truck was no longer there. The truck was muddy, the shovels were muddy.

Dave Cawley: Sourcing is a problem here. Without knowing who said this originally, it’s just folklore.

Kim Salazar: I don’t think we have any peace until we have something.

Dave Cawley: I’ve heard another variation on this, which was attributed to the owner of a cabin on the opposite edge of the ravine behind the Lovell cabin. That man, who unfortunately died many years ago, supposedly used to tell a story of sitting out on his back deck which overlooked the ravine. He’s said to have seen Doug and a woman walking up the ravine carrying a large, black plastic bag. Take from that what you will.

Back to the dog search. The ground in the ravine is littered with deadfall, scattered at odd angles, which the dogs and handlers have to go around, over or under.

Bryan Bennett: Y’know, one deviation left or right around an obstacle is the difference between a find and a miss. Y’know, and that’s where the dogs come in, right? I mean, if the wind is carrying the odor and the dog’s downwind, that little deviation doesn’t mean a thing. But, but if all’s we’re relying is our, is our vision, you can miss pretty easy.

Dave Cawley: Yeah, right on top of it and you walk over—

Bryan Bennett: That’s why the dogs are so amazing.

Dave Cawley: Yeah.

Bryan Bennett: Yeah.

Dave Cawley: Each dog wears a radio collar, which ties back to a GPS unit carried by its handler. And each handler is accompanied by a second person, whose job it is to scan the ground for any visible evidence, like tiny bone fragments. That’s easier said than done. The thick, leafy understory makes that visible search practically impossible because the searchers can’t even see their own feet.

(Sound of dog moving through vegetation)

Dave Cawley: After a time, the dogs come out of the brush panting.

(Sound of dog panting)

Dog handler 1: Yeah as much as anything, he’s tired from jumping logs.

Dog handler 2: Oh yeah.

Dog handler 1: Yeah it’s uh, it’s hard.

Bryan Bennett: We did divide the areas up into, into little less than one acre. So to tell you how methodical the dogs were performing, are performing, y’know, it’s taking them almost two hours to search that area.

Dave Cawley: The handlers pick burrs out of their pant legs and pour water for the pups.

Dog handler 1: No, don’t put your paws in it.

Dog handler 2: Oh but c’mon mom, it’s puppy swimming pool.

Dave Cawley: After the animals have cooled down, the dog teams head back out into the thick.

Bryan Bennett: And the handlers are still coming out telling us that their probability of detection is pretty low so we rotated the areas.

Dave Cawley: They re-check the same areas, but using different dogs in each zone.

Bryan Bennett: I mean, I saw the GPS tracks and there’s, there are some holes but not like you’d think.

Dave Cawley: The breeze that’d rustled the trees when we’d first arrived has now settled. The air grows still. The handlers do what they can to keep their dogs from overheating.

Bryan Bennett: If you’re working a dog you prefer a little wind. That way your dog doesn’t have to run right over the top of it. The wind will carry the odor.

Dave Cawley: Hours pass as the rest of us sit and wait. There’s no cell service so we swap stories, gathering in shrinking patches of shade as the daytime temperatures climb. I picture Doug and Rhonda doing the same here one summer day in ’85, as Doug used a family gathering at this very cabin for an alibi. Maybe he’d sat on this same porch as he’d tuned in to the radio, hoping to hear a story on the news about a murder in South Ogden carried out by his hired hit-man, Tom Peters. A hit that hadn’t happened. The heat is turning into a real problem. In Salt Lake City today, the temperature reaches 101 degrees Fahrenheit, the fifth day out of nine so far in July with a triple-digit high temperature. When the breeze returns in the afternoon, it feels uncomfortably warm.

Bryan Bennett: Probably wasn’t the best timing, y’know, to bring dogs in for this but it was scheduled and, and we figured if we could get started early we could get a couple of half-days out of the dogs.

Dave Cawley: The search comes to an end for the day. We receive word the dogs haven’t detected any odor. It’s a disappointment, but not a surprise. Once off the mountain, I call Joyce’s daughter Kim Salazar and give her the news. The dog teams aren’t done, I tell her. They want to try again the next morning.

Bryan Bennett: So they’ll go back tonight and they’ll debrief. And they’ll figure out ‘ok, what’d we do right, what’d we do wrong, how, how can we improve it tomorrow?’ … There’ll be some holes. We have some GPS tracks and there’ll be some holes and we’ll focus on those holes that we didn’t, that we didn’t get to today.

Dave Cawley: But the result on day two is the same: no indication. Which isn’t the same as saying “Joyce isn’t here.” It just means the dogs didn’t detect that very faint odor in the very specific part of the ravine behind the cabin, in the challenging July heat.

On a later follow-up visit to the cabin, I walked down the ravine myself. There’s a spot at the bottom where the ravine meets the road. An excavator recently dug a small trench there to access a water line. In the pile of disturbed earth beside the trench I came across a few bones. Bones that had been buried: a femur, a tibia. And a couple of crushed Budweiser cans, the kinds with pull tabs from ‘70s or early ‘80s. Investigators gathered the bones and determined they had come from an animal, likely a deer. But who would’ve buried a deer in the thick willow patch at the base of the ravine below the Lovell family cabin? One possible explanation: perhaps this deer had been poached.

Which brings me to our final location: the place where Doug and Rhonda encountered a wildlife officer in the nearby Monte Cristo mountains after Joyce Yost disappeared. I’ll take you there after the break.

[Ad break]

Dave Cawley: Dan Cockayne looks at home in this country. He’s wearing a blue plaid shirt, suspenders and pale-colored straw cowboy hat, all of which would’ve been just as in style here a century ago as today.

I have followed Dan on a drive east out of the city of Ogden over the top of the Monte Cristo mountain range, to our third and final location, a spot beside Utah State Highway 39. It’s just shy of an hour-and-a-half away from Joyce Yost’s apartment, approaching the outer edge of Doug Lovell’s possible travels on the night he murdered her. Here, in a gully identified on topographic maps as Walton Canyon, the road cuts through stands of sagebrush, following a tiny stream as it is descends toward the town of Woodruff 10 miles to the east.

Dan Cockayne: And this is where Von Thomas stopped Rhonda Buttars and talked with her and then later found Doug Lovell in the truck with her.

Dave Cawley: The poaching stop. It occurred right here. Dan was chief deputy for the Rich County Sheriff’s Office at that time in 1985.

Dan Cockayne: There was 8 or 10 inches of snow on the ground and her truck was parked right there. And he was just right here.

Dave Cawley: This is cattle country, a fact made plain as we step off the pavement into a mess of bleached cow bones and desiccated dung piles. They’re leftovers from the drives ranchers make up and down this stretch a couple times each year, moving their stock between winter pastures and summer range in the nearby national forest.

Dan Cockayne: The last ranch is probably three or four miles down and so yeah, there’s just not a lot going on up here.

Dave Cawley: Dan and I have to swipe at horseflies as we talk to keep from getting bit.

Dan Cockayne: Yeah, I, I don’t, too late? Got ya? (Laughs)

Dave Cawley: But it’s well worth it, because Dan is probably the last person who remembers with any clarity the events surrounding the poaching stop, aside from Doug and Rhonda, that is.

Dan Cockayne: There was only two game wardens in the whole county.

Dave Cawley: I described Rhonda’s meeting with the wildlife officer in episodes 4 and 5. But my account of it was based on fragmentary records. None of the surviving paperwork had included the date, precise location or name of the wildlife officer. Thankfully, Dan heard those episodes and sent me a message.

Dan Cockayne: I’ve listened to both of your podcasts and it’s interesting and I believe it’s important.

Dave Cawley: Dan suspects as I do that the wildlife officer’s chance encounter could be a significant clue in the search for Joyce Yost’s remains.

Dan Cockayne: Oh, I’ve been up here quite a few times looking. Yeah.

Dave Cawley: Rich County was home to only about 2,000 people in ’85, a number that’s hardly changed over the last century. The county has only four towns: Woodruff, Randolph, Laketown and Garden City. The sheriff’s office has never had a huge workforce.

Dan Cockayne: Probably three of us, plus jailers and dispatchers.

Dave Cawley: Dan knew both state wildlife officers assigned to work the county back then. He told me the one who’d seen Rhonda here was named LaVon Thomas. Unfortunately, LaVon — or Von, as he was better known — died several years ago. But I learned he’d been a fish and game cop since before Doug Lovell was even born.

Dan Cockayne: Von was an old-school conservation officer. I think until like 1981 when Claude Dallas killed the game wardens in Idaho, the game wardens weren’t required even to carry a weapon. And he didn’t often.

Dave Cawley: Okay, hang on, because I’m about to take a long tangent to explain who Claude Dallas is. It’s important background that illustrates just how dangerous what happened between Rhonda, Doug and Von Thomas was.

Dan Cockayne: Yeah, I always felt that we were lucky that something bad didn’t really happen right here.

Dave Cawley: It requires we jump back in time to January of ’81 and move 280 miles west to the desolate stretch where the borders of Idaho, Oregon and Nevada meet. It’s a high desert region known as the Owyhee.

A pair of Idaho conservation officers visited a camp on the South Fork Owyhee River on January 5th of ’81. Claude Dallas, a former cowhand-turned-trapper, was living there for the winter. A rancher had told the officers Claude was trapping bobcats out of season. The officers — Bill Pogue and Conley Elms — confronted Claude. They disarmed him of a handgun he wore in a shoulder holster, but failed to notice the .357 revolver strapped to his hip.

At one point, Elms ducked into Claude’s tent to confiscate several animal pelts. Claude drew his hidden revolver and shot Pogue, then spun and fired on Elms. After both men were down, Claude retrieved a rifle and shot each man in the back of the head, to make sure they were both dead.

John Hollenhorst (from March 8, 1987 KSL TV archive): The crime was stunning because it seemed all out of proportion. Two game wardens were merely trying to enforce fish and game laws. They paid with their lives.

Dave Cawley: A friend of Claude’s had been at the camp delivering supplies at the time of the shootings. Claude enlisted his help in dumping Elms’ body in the river. They’d then used a mule to haul Pogue’s body out of the canyon to the friend’s truck. Claude drove Pogue’s body to a place called the Bloody Run Hills, where he’d stuffed the deceased wildlife officer into a coyote den. The friend confessed the killings to police the next day, but by then Claude had disappeared into the desert.

Frank Weston (From January 9, 1981 KSL TV archive): He’s a very, a mountain man type. Loves to live off the land. Uh, he can lived days without uh, without anything other than just a little place to lay down and possibly just live off of the, what he can gather to eat and stuff from the land.

Dave Cawley: Nevada sheriff’s deputies recovered Elms’ body from the river two days after the shooting. But they weren’t able to find Pogue. Investigators began to believe Claude had fled the Owyhee. They offered a $20,000 reward. Possible sightings of Claude poured in from across the country in the months that followed. The manhunt came to an end in April of ’82, with an anonymous tip that Claude was living in a trailer on the outskirts of Paradise Valley, Nevada, not far from where he’d last been seen more than a year earlier.

Chuck Smith (from April 19, 1982 KSL TV archive): On Sunday afternoon, 18 officers including a SWAT team and men in a helicopter converged on the trailer. When the officers pulled in from the road, Dallas was in front of the trailer in his truck, driving it back and forth. Apparently he’d just repaired it. And when Dallas saw the officers he drove the truck east across this field and the officers pursued.

Dave Cawley: The officers and agents peppered the truck with bullets. Claude surrendered. He waived extradition and later that year stood trial in Idaho for charges that included two counts of murder. Claude’s lawyers portrayed him as a man who’d feared for his life when an overzealous officer had come unannounced into his camp and threatened to haul him to jail just for living off the land.

Paradise Valley resident (from March 9, 1987 KSL TV archive): I only met him once and he seemed like he was real nice. A real nice guy.

Dave Cawley: Claude told the jury he’d felt threatened. He said Pogue had drawn his weapon and fired first. He claimed to have returned fire in self-defense. But that couldn’t explain why Claude had then shot both officers in the head, execution-style. Or why he’d spent hours concealing Pogue’s body, which had still not been found. The mythology of mountain man Claude Dallas continued to grow. He’d become something of a folk hero among anti-establishment types during his time on the run.

Paradise Valley resident (from March 9, 1987 KSL TV archive): He’s just that type of person. He was born too late. Y’know, he should have been born, y’know, a hundred years ago or something.

Dave Cawley: Even the jury seemed to sympathize. They convicted Claude, but not for murder, instead finding him guilty on lesser charges of manslaughter. A judge sentenced him to a term of 30 years in prison. Only then did Claude reveal where he’d hidden Pogue’s remains.

The Old West-style killings of the two Idaho wildlife officers sent shockwaves through Idaho’s fish and game department, as well as other wildlife agencies across the West. It highlighted the dangers inherent to the job. Wildlife officers, like Utah’s Von Thomas, often interacted with people who were armed and possibly intoxicated, in places where backup was far, far away.

Dan Cockayne: So he was up here by himself in a place with no radio contact so we kind of watched out for him.

Dave Cawley: Dan Cockayne told me Von had been by himself when he’d spotted Rhonda in this canyon in late ’85, just a few years after the capture of Claude Dallas.

The way Dan remembers the story, Von was coming down the canyon when he’d seen Rhonda pulled off to the side of the road facing the opposite direction, westbound, pointed toward Ogden. It was an odd place for a woman to be parked alone, especially that time of year. Von had stopped to check on Rhonda, but she had brushed him off.

Von had continued on down the canyon but at some point pulled over. Lo and behold, there came Rhonda, driving eastbound now toward Woodruff as if following him down the canyon. And Von could see a man in the cab of the truck with her. He pulled the truck over. That’s when Rhonda had lied, telling Von the man was a hitchhiker. There were no dead animals in the truck that Von could see and no gun either. He hadn’t had probable cause to detain the pair, so he’d let them go. Then, once out of the canyon and back in radio range, Von had called Dan.

Dan Cockayne: Something wasn’t right. Didn’t know what wasn’t right. … I had a K9, and so we came up and searched the area. Just looking for evidence, didn’t know what was going on at the time so we just came up and looked around, found the tracks in the snow where he’d been, where he’d actually been hiding just right over here while Von was talking with Rhonda.

Dave Cawley: As Dan says “right over here,” he points to large piece of sagebrush alongside the road. It’s no more than 15 to 20 feet from where Von would’ve been standing when he’d stopped to talk to Rhonda the first time. Her hitchhiker — who was actually her husband Doug — had likely watched that encounter unfold from just feet away.

Dan Cockayne: If all these things that we learned later are true, if he was indeed moving a body or he’d poached deer, Von had no idea he was here.

Dave Cawley: Dan and his dog didn’t find anything during that search, which isn’t surprising considering the ground was covered with snow. It wasn’t until later — days or months, it’s not clear just how long — that Von came across the carcasses of two deer on the opposite side of the road, across the creek and partway up the hill.

Dan Cockayne: I mean he was an investigator so I’m sure he was up here every day watching for birds and finally found those deer.

Dave Cawley: But how did Von connect his case with the Joyce Yost murder investigation? I’m not sure, but it’s probable he would’ve taken Rhonda’s information when he’d pulled her over. He might well have made a few phone calls after finding the deer, discovering in the process who Rhonda’s hitchhiker had actually been.

Von and the South Ogden police had to have known their evidence couldn’t support a poaching charge. But they’d worked with a prosecutor to file one anyhow. When detectives Brad Birch and Terry Carpenter grilled Rhonda after her arrest in March of ’86, she had denied involvement in any poaching. She’d said she and Doug had simply been headed to Woodruff to meet friends and go snowmobiling. She’d explained she’d lied about Doug’s identity because she’d been embarrassed: Doug had been relieving himself in the bushes when Von had first rolled up on her.

Dave Cawley: Take a second and just kinda glance through there then we’ll talk about what you see in there.

Dave Cawley: I had Dan read the detectives’ reports from their interrogation of Rhonda.

Dan Cockayne: That’s about how I remember the story.

Dave Cawley: Is it?

Dan Cockayne: Yeah.

Dave Cawley: But those reports left out a lot of detail, like the actual date when Von had seen Doug and Rhonda in the canyon. That’s an important thing to know, if the encounter has any connection with the location of Joyce Yost’s body. Here’s why: the highway over Monte Cristo is seasonal. It’s only open from around Memorial Day to Thanksgiving each year. The state blocks it with metal gates once there’s enough snow up top for snowmobiles.

Dan Cockayne: It’s remote. The time of year that they were up here, the chances of a deputy or game warden coming up the canyon might be once a week.

Dave Cawley: Rhonda had told the detectives she and Doug had driven over the top, meaning the gates were still open. But Dan’s description of snow on the ground at the time of Von’s encounter suggests it happened just before the gates would’ve closed.

Dan Cockayne: I’m sure it was after all the hunts had ended, which would be first of November. But it hadn’t closed the road yet. Which, which means, going to Woodruff snowmobiling is not a thing. That didn’t happen.

Dave Cawley: Dan told me he remembered the detectives bringing Rhonda to his jail after they’d arrested and interrogated her.

Dan Cockayne: She was pregnant at the time and I wouldn’t let her smoke. (Laughs)

Dave Cawley: The facilities weren’t equipped to house women, so Dan had shipped Rhonda to neighboring Cache County.

Dan Cockayne: I rode to Logan with her. Tried to talk her into telling us about this. But she wouldn’t. Didn’t want to say anything about it. She was really loyal, to him, at that time. Really loyal.

Dave Cawley: Dan wasn’t surprised six weeks later, when a judge dismissed the poaching case.

Dan Cockayne: ’Cause it was weak. Y’know, if you don’t have a weapon and you don’t have, ever can show them touching that deer and… I suspect the reason that the case was not a very good one was, umm, it was used for leverage.

Dave Cawley: It hadn’t worked. Rhonda had stood by her man.

Dan Cockayne: There’s a reason to be here. If it’s just poaching then, y’know, they weren’t able to make a very good case.

Dave Cawley: You might remember that in June of ’86, a prison snitch told South Ogden police Doug had been revisiting Joyce’s body when Von had first talked to Rhonda. I was perplexed when I first came across that, because there are no records in the Joyce Yost case files to suggest detectives followed up on that lead. But Dan told me they did. South Ogden detectives had come to visit him in the summer of ’86. The snow had by that time melted.

Dan Cockayne: We met right here. Talked about this, searched again with the dog. Y’know, in those days we’d never even heard of a cadaver dog.

Dave Cawley: Dan’s dog had a skilled nose, but wasn’t trained to detect the odor of human decomposition. The officers didn’t have handheld GPS units to record precisely where they’d walked. They didn’t know if they were looking for a body out in the open, possibly scattered by animals, or a shallow grave.

Dan Cockayne: Y’know, we did the best we could. But… I would think that if it was a matter of life-and-death, which it is to Doug Lovell, that you would want to make sure that things were good, covered, whatever.

Dave Cawley: Another five years passed before Rhonda confessed her role in Joyce’s murder to Terry Carpenter. Her account of the poaching stop changed at that point. Rhonda told Terry Doug had, in fact, shot the two deer. But she said he’d done it the night before they’d bumped into Von.

Dan Cockayne: It’s just quiet that time of year. No one really up here.

Dave Cawley: Rhonda said Doug had wanted to retrieve the antlers. That’s why they’d gone back up the next day. Dan told me that’s a common modus operandi for poachers.

Dan Cockayne: If he would have caught him right here with a gun, then he’s a convicted felon, he’s got that problem and he’s got a dead animal. But he drives up the next day and finds a dead deer on the hill and cuts the horns off and tells the game warden ‘I found a dead deer and cut the horns off.’

Dave Cawley: If this version of Rhonda’s story was true, it would mean Doug had likely shot the deer from the road using a spotlight. The canyon walls would’ve provided him cover.

Dan Cockayne: Good place to do it. You don’t notice, unless you’re right here, a spotlight like you would close to town.

Dave Cawley: As far as I know, Rhonda’s never been questioned in detail about this. She’s never testified to it from the witness stand.

Dan Cockayne: I think that’s why you dare shoot a deer on the side of the hill. ‘Cause the odds of getting caught are lower.

Dave Cawley: I do wonder though, would shooting two deer have been Doug’s sole reason for driving so far in the middle of the night, at a time he was under suspicion for murder and was just weeks away from standing trial for rape? When he knew the eyes of police were on him? Or were the deer just an opportunity that’d popped up while Doug was in the area taking care of other business?

Dan Cockayne: I would say most of the poaching incidents like this that are, those people that are arrested have all kinds of different offenses on their record.

Dave Cawley: The deer Doug had shot were covered by snow within hours. Which means it could’ve been snowing when he’d shot them. With that in mind, consider the words Doug used when negotiating a plea deal in ’92. He’d told his defense attorney he’d be able to find Joyce’s body in the dark and even in a blinding snowstorm.

The entire trip from Joyce’s apartment to the site of the poaching stop is on pavement. There’s a Forest Service campground 10 miles back along the highway, but at the time of night Doug was transporting Joyce in August of ’85, few if any drivers would’ve gone beyond the campground down into Walton Canyon.

Dan Cockayne: From basically the Monte Cristo campground to Woodruff at night in the summer, there’s no people.

Dave Cawley: If Doug had come here on the night he killed Joyce, he might’ve feared returning during the hunting season shortly after because of the greater risk of being spotted. He might’ve waited until after the deer hunt ended in November before taking the risk of revisiting Joyce’s body. Then, under dark of night with snow swirling, he could’ve scraped out a shallow hole and buried her. On his way out of the area, he might’ve spotted a couple of deer on the hillside and shot them from the road. If so, while taking Rhonda on that same drive the following day, might he have pointed out the spot to her?

Dan Cockayne: Maybe he wouldn’t share that with Rhonda.

Dave Cawley: Yep.

Dan Cockayne: But he shared quite a bit.

Dave Cawley: I stress this is only a hypothetical. I’ve not been able to ask Rhonda about this theory, as she did not respond to my inquiries.

Dan Cockayne: Yeah, I wish that, yeah I wish she’d, if she’s gonna clean her soul, clean her soul.

Dave Cawley: Doug Lovell is likely the only one who really knows where he left Joyce Yost. He claimed to have already pointed out that spot. But Dan Cockayne doesn’t buy the idea Doug left Joyce along the Old Snowbasin Road.

Dan Cockayne: If he told me the sun was up I’d have to call NASA and make sure.

Dave Cawley: The site of the Monte Cristo poaching stop is an open, and by my estimation, promising lead in the search for Joyce Yost. It checks a lot of boxes. It fits the timeline. It fits Doug’s descriptions of the murder site. It’s up past Causey. It’s never been searched by cadaver dogs. With what we know now, maybe it’s time that it is.

Bonus 2: Location, Location, Location


Joyce Yost’s children and grandchildren have waited decades for an answer to the one lingering question that remains following their mother’s August, 1985 murder: where did the man who killed her bury her body?

This bonus episode of Cold season 2 examines three possible answers to that question, aside from the one already provided by the killer, Douglas Lovell.

The sites are: a concrete dump site in the city of Layton, Utah (because Doug drove a cement truck nearby); a cabin in the Sunridge Highlands area of Weber County, Utah (which Doug’s father owned at the time Joyce disappeared); and the slopes of the Monte Cristo Range in Rich County, Utah (where a wildlife officer encountered Doug and his wife weeks after the murder).

Locations of interest related to Cold season 2, bonus episode 2.

Overview of the Joyce Yost murder

Douglas Lovell abducted Joyce Yost from outside her apartment in South Ogden, Utah on the night of April 3, 1985. He sexually assaulted her and threatened to kill her if she reported what he’d done.

Joyce promised not to go to police and convinced Doug to release her. Then, she went to police anyway. Doug was arrested and charged with felony crimes that carried prison sentences of up to life if he were convicted.

Joyce Yost apartment Utah
Joyce Yost stands in her kitchen in this undated image. Photo: Joyce Yost family

Then, Joyce disappeared. It happened 10 days before she was scheduled to testify at Doug Lovell’s trial. From the start South Ogden police suspected Doug had murdered Joyce to prevent her from testifying. But they were unable to arrest or charge him due to a lack of evidence. Detectives were unable to locate Joyce’s body.

The case went cold. Then, in April of 1991, police Sgt. Terry Carpenter made a breakthrough. He succeeded in convincing Doug Lovell’s ex-wife, Rhonda Buttars, to talk. She admitted she’d helped Doug cover up evidence of his crime: Doug had murdered Joyce.


Rhonda Buttars’ account

In her interview with Terry Carpenter, Rhonda said she’d dropped Doug off outside Joyce Yost’s apartment between 11 p.m. and 1 a.m. on the night of August 10, 1985. Rhonda had then returned home, where she’d remained until receiving a call from Doug between 4 a.m. and 5 a.m. on the morning of August 11.

Doug had told Rhonda on the telephone to meet him at The Wilshire, a movie theater in South Ogden.

“It was getting light when he called you,” Terry asked Rhonda during a May 1, 1991 interview.

“No. Not when he called,” Rhonda replied.

In later court testimony, Rhonda explained it’d been dark out when Doug had called her from “up in the canyon.” But she said the sky had lightened by the time they’d each arrived at The Wilshire.

“It was light enough I could see Doug,” Rhonda said. “The sun wasn’t over the mountains yet.”

Doug had Joyce’s car when he and Rhonda met at The Wilshire. Then, they’d taken Joyce’s Chevy Nova in the foothills at the eastern edge of town and ditched the car there.

Rhonda told police Doug had described driving Joyce “up by Causey” Reservoir. She said he’d walked Joyce up a hill next to the road, choked her and stomped on her neck until she was dead.


Doug Lovell’s account

The story of Joyce’s murder as Doug Lovell remembered it came out in sworn court testimony in 1993.

He said Joyce had been asleep when he’d entered her apartment through an unlatched bedroom window on the night of the murder. He’d startled her awake, scuffled with her and cut her hand with a hunting knife.

Joyce had bled from the knife wound and Doug had needed to stop the bleeding, bandage the wound, strip the blood-stained bed sheets, flip the bloody mattress and remake the bed. Doug had also packed a suitcase full of Joyce’s clothes in an attempt to make it appear as though she’d left of her own accord.

A prosecutor suggested the clean-up and packing had taken as long as 45 minutes.

“I’m not sure how long I was there,” Doug replied, according to a court transcript.

Joyce Yost's apartment carport evidence exhibit
In sworn court testimony, Doug Lovell said he took Joyce Yost from her apartment early on the morning of August 11, 1985 and out to her car, which was parked in this carport. Photo: Weber County Attorney’s Office

Doug did admit to giving Joyce the tranquilizer Valium to keep her calm while he was busy cleaning the apartment. He’d then walked Joyce out to her car and told her to get into the trunk.

Doug denied having taken Joyce anywhere near Causey Reservoir, as Rhonda had claimed he’d said.

“I don’t ever remember telling Rhonda anything about Causey,” Doug said.


Doug Lovell’s window of opportunity

The two accounts provided a rough timeline for the murder.

In court testimony, Rhonda clarified that Joyce’s car had been parked in the carport outside Joyce’s apartment when she’d dropped Doug off on the night of the murder. That detail suggested the drop-off occurred after midnight, as Joyce hadn’t returned home from the Hill Air Force Base officer’s club until about midnight.

Sunrise in Ogden, Utah on the morning of August 11, 1985 occurred at 6:34 a.m. By Rhonda’s account, Doug’s call to her that morning had come before first light. That suggested the call occurred sometime prior to 5:30 a.m.

By that logic, Doug had roughly five hours — from about 12:30 a.m. to 5:30 a.m. — in which to carry out the murder and to conceal Joyce Yost’s body. Subtracting time for the events inside the apartment and at whatever place he left Joyce whittles that down to about four hours during which Doug was unaccounted for.

That timeframe becomes important when evaluating potential burial locations, as it provides a limit on how far Doug might have traveled. Cut the four-hour window in half and you’re left with two hours. This is the maximum amount of time Doug Lovell could have reasonably spent traveling one-way from Joyce Yost’s apartment to the place where he left her body.


Return to Joyce Yost’s body

Rhonda Buttars had told police in 1991 that Doug hadn’t initially buried Joyce Yost’s body on the night of the murder.

“He didn’t have anything to really bury her,” Rhonda told Sgt. Terry Carpenter. “He just, like, put leaves or shrubbery or dirt over her.”

Rhonda said Doug had also dumped out the contents of Joyce’s purse next to her body. He’d grown concerned about this afterward, over fears someone might stumble across Joyce’s body and identify her using her driver license. Doug had resolved to return and bury Joyce to ensure that didn’t happen.

In January of 1992, Rhonda visited Doug at the Utah State Prison while wearing a hidden recording device. She’d received a promise of legal immunity in exchange for her cooperation with prosecutors.

The investigators hoped Doug would reveal the location of Joyce Yost’s body to his trusted confidant, not realizing that she had turned on him.

A portion of an audio recording made at the Utah State Prison by Rhonda Buttars on Jan. 18, 1992. Buttars was speaking to her ex-husband, Doug Lovell, about his 1985 murder of Joyce Yost. This video includes both the original South Ogden, Utah police transcription and a new transcription from the COLD podcast team.

An audio recording of the prison wire recording obtained by Cold through an open records request includes a portion where Doug referenced the place where he’d left Joyce Yost’s body as being covered over by seven years of “leaves.”

“I mean, we’re talking mountains,” Doug said in the recording. “There’s snow on the ground down here. What do you think’s on her up there?”

During plea negotiations at the end of 1992, Doug told his court-appointed defense attorney that he would be able to locate the site again in the dark or in a blinding snowstorm.


The Old Snowbasin Road site

  • One-way travel time from Joyce Yost’s apartment (via shortest route): 30 minutes
  • Elevation above sea level: 5,710 feet

Doug Lovell took South Ogden police to a spot four miles east of Mount Ogden in June of 1993 and told them that was where he had killed Joyce Yost and buried her body. He made the admission in an effort to avoid a death sentence.

Old Snowbasin Road possible Joyce Yost's body location
The trail leading to the area along the Old Snowbasin Road where Doug Lovell told South Ogden police in 1993 that he’d buried the body of Joyce Yost. Photo: Dave Cawley, KSL Podcasts

The site, which sits near a hairpin curve along the Old Snowbasin Road, became the subject of an intensive search that summer. Detectives used a variety of tools and techniques at the site, including metal detectors, cadaver dogs, hand tools, a track hoe and an excavator. They found no indication Joyce Yost’s body was ever there.

Doug insisted during a sentencing hearing that summer he’d taken police to the correct spot. He had no explanation for why their search had failed to result in the discovery of human remains. A judge determined the plea deal was invalid and sentenced Doug to death.

On appeal, Doug succeeded in having his guilty plea withdrawn. He stood trial for Joyce’s murder in 2015. His defense team called a wildlife biologist as an expert witness. The biologist testified a black bear, mountain lion or coyote could have moved and scattered Joyce Yost’s body in the eight years between the murder and the police search.

“It could be that he knew it wasn’t there, it was somewhere else.”

Defense attorney Michael Bouwhuis

The lead attorney for Doug’s 2015 trial, Michael Bouwhuis, told Talking Cold he believed Doug could have been telling the truth and that there were legitimate explanations for the absence of Joyce’s remains. Bouwhuis contended the police search in ’93 had not followed best practices for crime scene processing.

“And so if Doug left her at the spot where he took the authorities, the way that they processed the scene would have produced nothing,” Bouwhuis said.

But Bouwhuis also conceded it was possible Doug had lied, even to him.

“It could be that he didn’t know at all, he didn’t remember it but he thought ‘if I act like I do and I put an effort in and they appreciate that, maybe they cut me a break,’” Bouwhuis said. “Or it could be that he knew it wasn’t there, it was somewhere else.”


Alternate site 1: Cement dump

  • One-way travel time from Joyce Yost’s apartment (via shortest route): 15 minutes
  • Elevation above sea level: 4,855 feet

The first alternate site for Joyce Yost’s body examined in this Cold podcast bonus episode is a subdivision in the city of Layton, Utah where cement truck drivers were known to dispose of excess concrete during the 1980s.

Cold podcast host Dave Cawley points out the location of a concrete dump site where some people have speculated Doug Lovell might have hidden the body of Joyce Yost following her murder.

Doug Lovell had worked at the Ideal Ready Mix cement plant at the time he’d raped Joyce Yost in April of 1985. The plant sat along Utah State Highway 193, just south of Hill Air Force Base. He’d secured the job with the help of a family friend nicknamed “Dangerous Dan.” Doug’s father, Monan Lovell, had asked Dan to get his son a job driving a cement truck.

“Doug Lovell’s [step]mom and dad bowled with us on a bowling league and they were actually on our team,” Dan said in an interview for Cold. He asked that his last name not be used, out of concern for his privacy.

Dan not only helped get Doug hired but also trained him. Operating the cement truck required an understanding of how and when to mix the components of concrete, as well as how to route the deliveries so as to arrive at a job site ready to pour.

It was common for Ideal Ready Mix drivers to finish a pour with excess concrete still in the hopper.

“People will over-order, your tax dollars at work, by 10 yards of concrete,” Dan said. “That’s just one day, one truck. And is it heavy? Each yard of concrete weighs a little over 5,000 pounds.”

Ideal Ready Mix Layton Utah
This 1985 aerial photo shows the locations of the Ideal Ready Mix cement plant in Layton, Utah where Doug Lovell worked, as well as a gravel pit where Ideal drivers were allowed to dump excess concrete. Both sites are adjacent to Utah State Route 193. Photo: Idaho Air National Guard via Utah Geological Survey (notations added by Cold team)

Dan said the cement plant did not at that time have a reclaimer, meaning the excess concrete needed to dumped. A man who owned property east of the cement plant had given them permission to unload into a pit on the edge of his field. Dan said rumors spread after Joyce Yost disappeared. Ideal drivers wondered if Doug might have placed Joyce’s body in the pit. If so, Joyce would’ve been covered over with concrete.

“Be a hell of a tombstone,” Dan said. “But that’s not the way people should be buried.”

The pit Dan referenced is visible in historical aerial imagery dating as far back as the 1950s. The imagery shows that by the early ‘90s the pit appeared to have been completely filled. Since that time, the site of the pit has been covered by residential development.

Layton Utah Hobbs Reservoir cement dump site concrete pit
Historical aerial imagery shows the evolution of the gravel pit drivers for the Ideal Ready Mix cement plant in Layton, Utah filled with excess concrete. Photos: Utah Geological Survey (top-left and top-right), Idaho Air National Guard (bottom-left), U.S. Department of Agriculture (bottom-right) (notations added by the Cold podcast team)

A rancher named Jerry Jaques was the owner of the field prior to its conversion into a subdivision. Jerry is deceased. His son, Bob Jaques, independently confirmed Dan’s account. He remembered Ideal Ready Mix drivers dumping concrete in what he called a “little old hole.”

The cement dump site has never been searched in connection with the Joyce Yost case.


Alternate site 2: Lovell family cabin

  • One-way travel time from Joyce Yost’s apartment (via shortest route): 1 hour, 15 minutes
  • Elevation above sea level: 7,350 feet

The second alternate site for Joyce Yost’s body examined in this Cold podcast bonus episode is a two-acre property in the Sunridge Highlands cabin community of northeastern Weber County, Utah.

The Lovells were among the first people to build at Sunridge Highlands. Property records show Doug Lovell’s father Monan Lovell built his cabin in Sunridge’s first phase in 1979. Doug was known to visit the cabin in the early ’80s, following his early release from prison on an aggravated robbery conviction.

Retired South Ogden police Sgt. Terry Carpenter told Cold investigators were interested in searching the cabin property, due to its seclusion and Doug Lovell’s knowledge of area. However, Terry said Monan Lovell would never provide consent for police to come on the grounds after Joyce Yost disappeared.

Lovell cabin Sunridge Highlands possible Joyce Yost's body location
The cabin Monan Lovell built in 1979 in the Sunridge Highlands cabin community in Weber County, Utah. The cabin changed hands following Monan Lovell’s death in 2014 and is no longer owned by the Lovell family. Photo: Dave Cawley, KSL Podcasts

The Lovell cabin changed hands following Monan’s death in 2014. Sunridge managers provided consent for law enforcement to search the property in 2021. The Weber County Attorney’s Office carried out a search on July 9 and 10, 2021. The County enlisted the help of a non-profit organization called Colorado Forensic Canines. Its teams are trained in the detection of clandestine gravesites.

“Their dogs are trained to look specifically for small amounts of odor, small particles, small pieces of bone,” Weber County Search and Rescue volunteer commander Bryan Bennett told Cold during the search.

The cadaver dogs focused on a heavily wooded ravine adjacent to the cabin property.

Volunteer Weber County Search and Rescue commander Bryan Bennett describes conditions during a cadaver dog search for the remains of Joyce Yost on July 9, 2021. Weber County requested the assistance of Colorado Forensic Canines in searching for possible remains near a cabin once owned by the family of Doug Lovell.

Conditions proved challenging for the dogs and handlers. The steepness of the slope and the heavy ground cover both caused problems. Heat also limited the effectiveness of the search. It both exhausted the dogs and limited the likelihood of faint odors being carried on the breeze.

“If you’re working a dog you prefer a little wind,” Bryan said. “That way your dog doesn’t have to run right over the top of it. The wind will carry the odor.”

Cold podcast host Dave Cawley cadaver dog
Cold podcast host Dave Cawley gathers sound of a cadaver dog at the site of a search for the remains of Joyce Yost on July 9, 2021. Photo: Terry Carpenter

The search of the ravine concluded without any indication on the part of the dogs.


Alternate site 3: Monte Cristo poaching stop

  • One-way travel time from Joyce Yost’s apartment (via shortest route): 1 hour, 15 minutes
  • Elevation above sea level: 7,045 feet

The third alternate site for Joyce Yost’s body examined in this Cold podcast bonus episode is a place where a Utah Division of Wildlife Resources conservation officer encountered Doug and Rhonda in late 1985.

The precise date and location of that encounter were not known when that situation was previously described in Cold season 2, episodes 4 and 5. After the release of those episodes, a man named Dan Cockayne contacted Cold with additional details.

Dan was serving as chief deputy for the Rich County’s Sheriff’s Office in 1985. He assisted DWR conservation officer LaVon Thomas in the investigation of a suspicious circumstance in November of that same year.

LaVon had come upon Doug Lovell’s wife, Rhonda Buttars, sitting alone in a truck alongside Utah State Highway 39. A short time later, LaVon had seen Rhonda in the area again. She was at that time accompanied by a man whom she claimed was a hitchhiker.

Monte Cristo Walton Canyon SR39 possible Joyce Yost's body location
This June 24, 2016 aerial image shows Walton Canyon on the eastern slope of the Monte Cristo Range. Utah State Route 39 crosses the center of the image. The S.R. 39 winter closure gate sits at the bottom-left corner of the frame. Photo: U.S. Department of Agriculture, Farm Service Agency (notation added by Cold team)

Dan showed Cold the spot where LaVon’s initial encounter with Rhonda occurred. It happened in a place called Walton Canyon. The canyon sits on the eastern slopes of the Monte Cristo Range, about 10 miles west of the town of Woodruff.

“Von, the game warden, had a suspicion that something wasn’t right,” Dan said. “Didn’t know what wasn’t right. So we came up, found the tracks in the snow where someone had been over here in the sage brush.”

Dan and his K9 searched the area where Rhonda’s passenger, who was later identified as her husband Doug Lovell, had been standing at the time of the initial encounter.

Former Rich County Sheriff Dan Cockayne describes his role in investigating a suspicious circumstance between Joyce Yost murder suspect Doug Lovell and a Utah Division of Wildlife Resources officer in the Monte Cristo Range weeks after Yost’s disappearance in 1985.

“I always felt that we were lucky that something bad didn’t really happen right here,” Dan said. “Von had no idea he was here.”


A changing story of the poaching stop

Dan said some time later, LaVon located two deer that had been illegally shot. The deer were on the hill opposite from where LaVon’s initial encounter with Rhonda took place. Investigators believed Doug and Rhonda Lovell had poached the deer. They worked with a prosecutor to file criminal charges against the pair.

As previously described in Cold season 2, South Ogden police arrested Rhonda on that warrant in March of 1986. They interrogated her. Rhonda said she and Doug had been traveling to Woodruff to meet friends for a snowmobiling outing, but Doug had been in the bushes defecating when LaVon had first seen her. She insisted they had not been involved in any poaching.

Rhonda Buttars jail booking fingerprint card
Rhonda Buttars’ fingerprint card from her March 19, 1986 jail booking on suspicion of poaching carried Dan Cockayne’s signature.

The South Ogden detectives transported Rhonda to Rich County to be booked into jail at the conclusion of her interrogation. Rhonda’s booking sheet bore Dan Cockayne’s handwriting. Her fingerprint card carried his signature.

“She was pregnant at the time and I wouldn’t let her smoke,” Dan said, “because she was pregnant. Not because it was against the rules.”

Doug and Rhonda Lovell succeeded in having the poaching charge dismissed by a judge several weeks later.

Then, an informant told South Ogden police Doug Lovell had been revisiting Joyce Yost’s body at the time of LaVon Thomas’ encounter with Rhonda in Walton Canyon.

Monte Cristo Walton Canyon SR39 possible Joyce Yost's body location
Walton Canyon on the eastern slope of Utah’s Monte Cristo Range is a conduit for cattle drives. Ranchers use Utah State Highway 39 to move stock between summer and winter range, meaning animal bones are often present alongside the road. Photo: Dave Cawley, KSL Podcasts

So, detectives went back to that site with Dan Cockayne in the summer of 1986 to search once again. They didn’t know if they were searching for a gravesite or scattered remains that had been left out in the open.

“In those days we’d never even heard of a cadaver dog,” Dan said. “We did the best we could.”

Rhonda Buttars admitted to Sgt. Terry Carpenter in April of 1991 that her ex-husband Doug Lovell had, in fact, shot the two deer the night prior to their encounter with LaVon Thomas in ’85. He’d wanted to retrieve the antlers, which Rhonda explained was the actual reason for their late-season trip into Walton Canyon.

“If [LaVon] would have caught him right here with a gun, then he has a convicted felon, he’s got that problem and he’s got a dead animal,” Dan said. “But he drives up the next day and finds a dead deer on the hill and cuts the horns off and tells the game warden ‘I found a dead deer and cut the horns off.’”

The stretch of Utah State Highway 39 through Walton Canyon is dark, isolated and infrequently traveled at night.

“I think that’s why you dare shoot a deer on the side of the hill. ‘Cause the odds of getting caught are lower,” Dan said. “But it’s always troubled me that maybe this lady’s laying up here.”


Hear more about the three alternate sites for the body of Joyce Yost in a bonus episode of Cold season 2: Location, Location, Location

Episode credits
Research, writing and hosting: Dave Cawley
Audio production: Nina Earnest
Audio mixing: Trent Sell
Cold main score composition: Michael Bahnmiller
Cold main score mixing: Dan Blanck
KSL executive producers: Sheryl Worsley, Keira Farrimond
Workhouse Media executive producers: Paul Anderson, Nick Panella, Andrew Greenwood
Amazon Music team: Morgan Jones, Eliza Mills, Vanessa Rebbert, Shea Simpson
Episode transcript: https://thecoldpodcast.com/season-2-transcript/lovell-cabin-poaching-full-transcript

Bonus 1: Satanic Panic


A trend began to emerge in communities across the United States during the 1980s and early ‘90s: people recovering repressed memories during therapy of satanic ritual abuse including human sacrifice, cannibalism and other horrifying crimes.

Many of these reports made their way to police, who were flummoxed by the assertion secret satanists might be operating under their noses.

Investigators spent untold hours attempting to verify the terrifying stories but supporting evidence proved elusive. Critics also questioned whether overzealous psychologists or social workers might be driving the panic, planting the ideas in the minds of their patients.

This period has come to be known as the Satanic Panic.


Joyce Yost and the Satanic Panic

The Satanic Panic came very near to knocking the South Ogden, Utah police investigation into Joyce Yost’s 1985 disappearance permanently off track. In March of 1988, police had received an anonymous call from a woman who went by the pseudonym “George” who reported Joyce had died at the hands of a satanic coven.

In 1990, South Ogden police Sgt. Terry Carpenter learned “George” was actually a psychologist, who’d called on behalf of a patient named Barbara. Barbara had recovered memories during therapy of having witnessed a blond woman killed in a ritual ceremony involving her father and several of his associates.

Terry invested a great amount of time and effort attempting to verify Barbara’s account. It was, at the time, the only lead he had in a case that had gone cold.

“I can’t tell you the hours that we put in to trying to prove it or disprove it,” Terry said in an interview for Cold. “She thinks Joyce Yost was killed by her dad and the coven and, just didn’t happen.”

These events were described in Cold season 2, episodes 5 and 6.


Satanic scare in Utah

The satanic coven lead in the Joyce Yost case might seem far-fetched to people looking back now, especially to younger people who didn’t live through the cultural moment of the satanic panic. But it’s important to understand how pervasive these kinds of accounts were at the time.

A January 17, 1992 Deseret News story cited a poll that showed 90% of Utah residents “believe in the existence of satanic or ritualistic abuse of children, even the sacrifice of babies.”

This bonus episode of Cold uses archival news recordings to help explain development of that public perception.

This May, 1986 KSL TV news story comes from a special series called Satanism in Utah: A Teenage Underworld. It features a man named Lynn Bryson, who during the 1980s traveled across the country giving “fireside” talks to young members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, warning them of satanic messages hidden in popular media.

It follows two significant criminal cases involving claims of ritualistic abuse that were occurring contemporaneous to the Joyce Yost investigation: the 1987 prosecution of a Lehi, Utah man named Alan Hadfield and the 1991 raid of an Ogden, Utah polygamist group called the Zion Society.


Mike King and the Zion Society

Mike King was working as an investigator for the Weber County Attorney’s Office in the summer of 1991 when a woman came forward to report she’d been involved in a cult that was sexually abusing children. The informant had fallen into orbit of the group’s leader, a man named Arvin Shreeve, after fleeing a failing marriage.

Shreeve had cultivated a group of followers, telling them he’d received personal revelation about how to attain exaltation in the afterlife.

“He was then dictating that they should have relations with each other, a same-sex relationship, all in what he believed was his God’s approval,” Mike said in an interview for Cold. “It continued to pervert, as always it seems these sexual predations do, and it soon became ‘now the children need to be involved.’”

Mike King Zion Society ritual abuse
Retired investigator Mike King led the 1991 raid on a fundamentalist group called the Zion Society that was involved in ritualistic abuse of children. He later co-authored a report about ritual abuse in the state of Utah. Photo: Dave Cawley, KSL Podcasts

Mike said the Zion Society’s abuse of children was ritual abuse, even though Shreeve’s religious teachings did not include satanism or the occult. Instead, the rituals Shreeve employed were a perversion of Christian theology.

“He took seemingly intelligent people who had likeminded beliefs of wanting to just be a little better than anyone else, to have more light and knowledge than the next guy and slowly crafted and groomed them to the point that they believed that this, okay as distasteful as it might be, is my pathway to heaven,” Mike said.

Ogden police raided the neighborhood where the Zion Society had taken root in the summer of 1991. Mike led that operation and subsequently took part in criminal prosecutions against Shreeve and several other Zion Society members.

“Ritual abuse is happening,” Mike said. “I don’t believe ritual abuse means satanic abuse.”


Ritual abuse task force

As the Zion Society case was unfolding, forces within Utah’s government and culture were pushing to legitimize the notion of widespread satanic ritual abuse.

In 1990, the Utah Governor’s Office created a special task force to gather information about ritual abuse and educate both the public and professionals on the issue. A psychologist named Noemi Mattis, a believer of the recovered memories accounts rising from therapy patients, led the group.

“Perpetrators maintain prolonged concealment, not only of their acts, but also of their membership in the secret society which is united in the commission of crimes.”

Utah State Task Force on Ritual Abuse

The task force issued a report in 1992. It described “generational” satanic cults which were believed to be operating in secret.

“Some scholars are convinced that such groups have existed for centuries,” the report read. “Their abusive cult activities may co-exist side by side with traditional worship; that is, members may publicly practice an established, respected religion. The members are often well-known and respected within their larger communities.”

Noemi Mattis explained away the lack of corroborative evidence supporting this claim when interviewed by KSL-TV about the report in May of ’92.

“Very difficult to prove any cases in a court of law which involve ritual abuse simply because the people who are involved with it have real expertise at hiding their tracks,” Mattis said.


Utah Ritual Abuse Crime Unit

The task force recommended Utah’s Legislature invest money to further investigate reports of secret satanic cults.

Lawmakers set aside $250,000 to fund the creation of a ritual abuse crime unit within the Utah Attorney General’s Office. The attorney general invited Mike King to join, due to his experience investigating cult activity in the Zion Society case.

“It was way outside of normal police work to say we’re going to pursue Satan,” Mike said. “We were actually given almost 300 cases of ritual sexual abuse where it was determined that children were sexually abused and satanism was involved, either in the controlling aspects or in rituals or in other ways.”

Dead cow ritual abuse
Mike King described responding to reports across Utah involving claims pets or livestock had been killed in satanic rituals. Closer examination revealed the animals had died from natural causes or depredation by coyotes or other predators. Photo: Dave Cawley, KSL Podcasts

Mike and his partner, another experienced investigator named Matt Jacobson, spent the next two years attempting to track down evidence to support the claims made in those cases.

“We were only able to truly get confessions where someone had used satanism or satanic beliefs or doctrine as part of their control mechanism in about three or four,” Mike said.


Ritual Crime in the State of Utah

Mike and his partner summarized their findings in a 1995 report titled Ritual Crime in the State of Utah. Their report tossed cold water on the concept of generational satanic cults.

“Allegations of organized satanists, even groups of satanists who have permeated every level of government and religion were unsubstantiated,” the report read.

Mike did conclude though it’s possible and even likely that there were isolated instances of child sex abusers using satanic or occult imagery to scare victims into silence.

“We wanted to give a true assessment that after looking at this many cases, there’s only a small subset that were even close to being possible and none of those would support that some mystic being was showing up, only that they were using satanism as a guise to have power over the children,” Mike said.


Hear more from Mike King about investigating ritual abuse in a bonus episode of Cold season 2: Satanic Panic

Episode credits
Research, writing and hosting: Dave Cawley
Audio production: Nina Earnest
Audio mixing: Trent Sell
Cold main score composition: Michael Bahnmiller
Cold main score mixing: Dan Blanck
KSL executive producers: Sheryl Worsley, Keira Farrimond
Workhouse Media executive producers: Paul Anderson, Nick Panella, Andrew Greenwood
Amazon Music team: Morgan Jones, Eliza Mills, Vanessa Rebbert, Shea Simpson
Episode transcript: https://thecoldpodcast.com/season-2-transcript/satanic-panic-full-transcript/

Cold season 2, bonus 1: Satanic Panic – Full episode transcript

Dave Cawley: South Ogden police were on a literal witch hunt. It was the summer of 1990. An informant was telling detectives a satanic coven had killed Joyce Yost. Sgt. Terry Carpenter had heard a version of this story once already, a couple of years earlier, from an anonymous caller who’d asked to go by the false name “George.”

“George” (from March 28, 1998 police recording): And then her body was burned.

Terry Carpenter (from March 28, 1998 police recording): Her body was burned.

Dave Cawley: “George” had refused to reveal the source of her information about Joyce Yost’s death. If this sounds familiar, it’s because I shared much of this already in Cold season 2, episode 5. But there are parts I didn’t tell you, like how that informant in 1990 told police who “George” really was. The informant said “George” was actually a psychologist named Peggy who worked with victims of satanic ritual abuse.

“George” (from March 28, 1998 police recording): I think that both of us believe that folks that engage in that sort of activity ought not to be running loose.

Terry Carpenter (from March 28, 1998 police recording): Yes.

Dave Cawley: Police needed to verify this, so an officer called Peggy while posing as a concerned parent in order to prove “George” and Peggy were the same person.

Officer (from August 22, 1990 police recording): I’ve got a child that’s been involved, having some problems and they gave me your name that you might be someone I could look to to get some help for him.

Peggy (from August 22, 1990 police recording): Uh huh.

Officer (from August 22, 1990 police recording): Seems like there’s some strange things that I’ve heard a little about satanism and that’s kind of what I think what he’s involved in.

Peggy (from August 22, 1990 police recording): Uh huh.

Officer (from August 22, 1990 police recording): So, and I didn’t know if you handle anything like that or—

Peggy (from August 22, 1990 police recording): I have, I have worked with that—

Officer (from August 22, 1990 police recording): Uh huh.

Peggy (from August 22, 1990 police recording): —kind of a problem, actually quite a lot.

Officer (from August 22, 1990 police recording): Okay.

Dave Cawley: Police came to understand Peggy, in her anonymous phone call as “George”, had been relaying information provided by one of her patients, a woman named Barbara. Barbara had been undergoing therapy related to some severe childhood trauma. In the process, she’d recovered memories of a seeing woman raped and murdered by a satanic cult. Barbara at first believed that woman had been Joyce Yost.

Terry Carpenter (from undated police recording): And you believed that it happened and I believe that it—

Barbara (from undated police recording): I don’t believe that a murder occurred.

Terry Carpenter (from undated police recording): You did for a long time.

Dave Cawley: But by the time Terry Carpenter interviewed Barbara, she’d come to distrust her own memories.

Barbara (from undated police recording): Part of me would like to say ‘ok, it’s this person and this person and this person and this person’s involved and go find out what you can find out.’ But part of me just wants to, I don’t know.

Dave Cawley: Peggy had diagnosed Barbara as having multiple personalities. Because of this, Barbara’s credibility was compromised. But for Terry Carpenter, Barbara’s account was the only lead he had in a murder case that’d gone cold. And so he’d pushed her to name the members of the coven.

Barbara (from undated police recording): ‘Kay, I’ll give you some names but I want a statement made that I feel that it was a mind game and I don’t put much credence in it.

Terry Carpenter (from undated police recording): I agree a thousand percent and I will do that with you however you want to do it. We will write it down on a piece of paper if you want and have you put those names on that piece of paper. I, I have no problem with any agreement you want to make that way. Until we work them out and understand what they are. You feel good about that?

Barbara (from undated police recording): Yeah. But I want it made because I really feel like you’re going the wrong the direction.

Terry Carpenter (from undated police recording): Ok.

Dave Cawley: Terry took the list of names Barbara provided and started tracking down the suspected satanists. This next clip comes from an interview with one of them, a man named Dave, who was at the time incarcerated in the Utah State Prison.

Terry Carpenter (from undated police recording at Utah State Prison): Dave, were you ever involved in anything associated with the occult?

Dave R. (from undated police recording at Utah State Prison): No.

Terry Carpenter (from undated police recording at Utah State Prison): Weren’t you?

Dave R. (from undated police recording at Utah State Prison): No.

Terry Carpenter (from undated police recording at Utah State Prison): Well, the information that we’ve got is that you were. You were involved in a—

Dave R. (from undated police recording at Utah State Prison): Well you better check your [expletive] sources because I’m just, I don’t even know, I don’t read science fiction. If it ain’t got something to do with auto mechanics, I don’t even read it.

Dave Cawley: Every effort to verify the existence of the coven had run into a roadblock but Terry hadn’t given up. He’d assembled a task force and pushed even harder, refusing to let his only lead die.

Mike King: And I remember the Yost case very well. I remember walking through fields with Terry Carpenter looking for pieces of bone fragment or something else that would somehow support this testimony that they had a ritual and they burned a sacrifice right here and buried ‘em over here.

Dave Cawley: That it is Mike King, who was at the time an investigator for the Weber County Attorney’s Office. Mike didn’t know it then, but his career was about to take a wild turn, thrusting him into the center of a national debate about satanism.

Mike King: And we found ourselves in the early days getting spun up, much like the public was, with the Satanic Panic. Umm, could this really be happening? Is Satan out there abusing children. Are there cults that are sacrificing and doing things? And if you look back in time, I mean the stories were horrendous.

Dave Cawley: This is a bonus episode of Cold, season 2: Satanic Panic. From KSL Podcasts, I’m Dave Cawley. Back with more right after this break.

[Ad break]

Dick Nourse (from May, 1986 KSL TV archive): The practice of devil worship has existed in various cultures for centuries but recently it has become a very real part of what psychologists are calling the adolescent or teenage subculture.

Lynn Bryson (from May, 1986 KSL TV archive): We have become so uninformed that we are playing their music and their doctrines for our kids to dance to.

Dave Schmertz (from May, 1986 KSL TV archive): Lynn Bryson lives in Provo. He’s a songwriter and singer by trade. During the past 3 years, Bryson has been speaking at LDS churches across the nation. His message is clear: Satan is working overtime and our teenagers are his prey. We caught up with Bryson here in Champagne, Illinois.

Lynn Bryson (from May, 1986 KSL TV archive): If we’re gonna talk about witchcraft, we have to talk about some of the doctrines and how they’re preaching them. And I know of no other way than to tell it like it is. You cannot practice witchcraft unless you practice murder, cannibalism and the like.

Dave Cawley: Widespread panic over the perceived dangers of satanism and all things occult ran rampant in America during the 1980s. Comic books, Dungeons and Dragons and heavy metal music all made easy scapegoats for concerned parents of wayward teens.

Lynn Bryson (from May, 1986 KSL TV archive): All you have to do is play the record backwards by recording it onto a reel-to-reel tape deck, turning the reels around and listening to it backwards and it says, right were it says ‘another one bites the dust’ it now says ‘start to smoke marijuana.’

Dave Schmertz (from May, 1986 KSL TV archive): In Bryson’s view of satanism, the last front in the war against devil worship lies in the home.

Lynn Bryson (from May, 1986 KSL TV archive): Forbid it.

Dave Schmertz (from May, 1986 KSL TV archive): Who?

Lynn Bryson (from May, 1986 KSL TV archive): Forbid the youth from dabbling with it. Forbid it. In other words, parents have the strongest arm there. I can’t worry about the people who are calling me alarmist because I have seen too much.

Dave Cawley: The concern seems a bit parochial by today’s standards, but many people took this all very seriously back then, including obviously many news reporters and police officers.

Shelley Thomas (from May, 1986 KSL TV archive): Last March, Utah County police acting on a tip found evidence that a small bird had been killed on a granite stone as part of a sacrificial rite. Investigators also found several papers with handwritten symbols and a prayer.

Jim Tracy (from May, 1986 KSL TV archive): The prayer states ‘our father who art in hell, hallowed be thy name. We place before thee this sacrament in appreciation and recognition of thou, the divine. Make pure this offering and sanctify our souls. Blessed be the blood of our enemies and make us one with thee. Amen.’

Dave Cawley: These news reports come from a series aired by KSL TV in 1986 called “Satanism in Utah: A Teenage Underworld.”

Shelley Thomas (from May, 1986 KSL TV archive): There are people in Utah who practice satanic worship. Most of them are teenagers who’ve been drawn to the occult for a variety of reasons and for most it is only a passing fancy, a brief flirtation with morbid curiosity but for others satanism can be very real and very serious.

“Tina” (from May, 1986 KSL TV archive): Satan rules and anybody that believes in god or has anything to do with god should be killed, should die.

Dave Cawley: The series aimed to be more educational than alarmist.

Con Psarras (from May, 1986 KSL TV archive): While most teenagers are mildly amused by signs and references to Satan in the popular culture, others can be deeply intrigued. Some kids turn to devil worship as a way of seeking an identity, belonging to a group.

Richard Ferre (from May, 1986 KSL TV archive): When a group meets together for a special kind of rite or a special kind of involvement in something that’s very symbolic such as this, it’s like a club.

Dave Cawley: Adolescent experimentation with what you might call alternative religious ideologies is pretty normal and usually harmless. But there’s a darker side to the satanic panic scare of the ‘80s and early 90s than just this generational hand-wringing. It involved widespread reports similar to the one Barbara had provided in the Joyce Yost case: claims of secret cults that tortured and killed people without consequence.

Duane Cardall (from January 29, 1992 KSL TV archive): The woman we call Jane remembers horrific things happening in this canyon near Kamas. She believes her father and others raped, tortured and killed people in their worship of Satan.

“Jane” (from January 29, 1992 KSL TV archive): I know it happened because I was forced to commit murder. I committed several sacrifices myself and umm, I became very good at it.

Dave Cawley: These reports of satanic cult activity tended to take one of two forms: children confessing current satanic sexual abuse at the hands of adults, or adults recovering repressed memories of past satanic worship and human sacrifice. Both forms often arose in similar fashion.

Duane Cardall (from January 29, 1992 KSL TV archive): Jane’s memory of ritual abuse came out during psychological therapy. One day she simply remembered bad people hiding in the trees.

Janice Marcus (from January 29, 1992 KSL TV archive): I wasn’t going after that information. I had no clue that this had happened to her. I knew that she had been abused, that she was a victim of abuse and that’s all I knew.

Duane Cardall (from January 29, 1992 KSL TV archive): Janice Marcus diagnosed in Jane a multiple personality disorder or MPD. She says the details surfaced naturally through Jane’s various personalities including a seven-year-old and a 12-year-old.

Dave Cawley: This comes from a January, 1992 KSL TV special called “Ritual Abuse – The Unthinkable.”

“Jane” (from January 29, 1992 KSL TV archive): Oh god, they had a furnace here. They had a furnace here they put bodies in.

Duane Cardall (from January 29, 1992 KSL TV archive): The memory of people dying and disposing of bodies in a furnace stunned Jane. This day there was no furnace and we don’t know if one ever existed there. Jane understands why stories of ritual abuse are hard to believe. She wishes it weren’t true.

Jane (from January 29, 1992 KSL TV archive): I feel like everything that I held dear, that I believed in has been ripped away. I’m not what I thought I was, my parents aren’t what I thought they were. I don’t want a witch-hunt to happen. I just want the abuse of the children to stop.

Dave Cawley: The more bizarre instances even involved claims these secrets satanists were grooming young women, raising them to be “breeders” who as adults could then be impregnated. The breeders would give birth, only to have their newborn babies taken away and killed in sacrificial ceremonies.

Covens were sometimes said to include hospital workers or morticians, professionals who knew how to cover up the disappearance of a human body. They conveniently left no evidence. Skeptics argued these memories were false, perhaps unintentionally so, a result of pressure or outright coercion employed by social workers and psychologists who were intent on rooting out satanic influences.

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: Let me briefly tell you about one such case. It centered around a social worker named Barbara Snow. Snow led an organization called the Intermountain Sexual Abuse Treatment Center. In ’85, she began interviewing several children from a neighborhood in the city of Lehi, Utah about possible sexual abuse at the hands of a babysitter, who happened to be the daughter of a local church leader.

Tom Walsh (from December 18, 1987 KSL TV archive): State officials took bishop Keith Burnhams children from the home and LDS Church relieved Burnham of his duties.

Dave Cawley: The accounts started out simple — older children molesting younger children — but through repeated interviews with Snow, the accusations grew more severe. Snow elicited stories about adults in the neighborhood coordinating to prey on children, using costumes, masks and satanic imagery. These shocking stories weren’t supported by any other physical evidence. In fact, prosecutors declined to file charges and the bishop’s children were returned to him. But the accusations had already done tremendous damage. Soon, other parents from the neighborhood were bringing their children to see Snow, hoping to learn if their kids had been targeted by this secretive occult child sex ring. One of them was a man named Alan Hadfield.

Tom Walsh (from December 18, 1987 KSL TV archive): Hadfield testified he became an accuser when his daughter said members of his LDS bishop’s family had sexually abused her. Hadfield said he was upset and confused.

Dave Cawley: Snow repeatedly interviewed Hadfield’s 10-year-old daughter and 12-year-old son. The daughter’s initial disclosure of abuse was narrow, but over time both kids would go on to say as many as 40 people in the neighborhood were involved in bizarre and grotesque instances of child sex abuse that included satanic ritual.

Tom Walsh (from December 18, 1987 KSL TV archive): Hadfield says therapist Barbara Snow told him this thing is really big. This case will draw national attention. But Hadfield says things just didn’t add up. ‘How could this happen without me knowing about it?’ He says Snow told him the abusers are sneaky. They’ll move through fields and crawl over fences at night. Ironically it was Hadfield who began pushing for the Attorney General’s Office to do an investigation. He then realized ‘I was the only man left in our neighborhood group who wasn’t accused.’ In May of 1986, Alan Hadfield turned from accuser to accused.

Dave Cawley: That’s when Hadfield’s children told Barbara Snow in graphic detail that their father had sexually abused them. In July of 1987, the state of Utah filed seven felony counts of sodomy and sex abuse of a child against Hadfield. He stood trial and his children both testified. So did Barbara Snow, whose methods came under attack.

Tom Walsh (from December 16, 1987 KSL TV archive): A Utah County detective says Snow’s questioning technique was aggressive and she would often ask leading questions of the children about possible abuse.

Dave Cawley: Alan Hadfield maintained his innocence. But the kids did not recant. So who was the jury to believe? In closing arguments, the prosecutor said the children had no motive to lie.

Tom Walsh (from December 18, 1987 KSL TV archive): Hadfield’s defense attorney Brad Rich countered by saying ‘children have been accusing parents falsely since the Salem Witch Trials.’

Dave Cawley: The jury found Hadfield guilty on all counts.

Joel Munson (from December 19, 1987 KSL TV archive): While Hadfield’s friends and family wandered in a state of shock, prosecutors voiced satisfaction with the verdict. They said the key to the case was the testimony of the children. But Hadfield’s supporters argued child therapist Barbara Snow coerced the youngsters into pointing the finger at their father. Defense attorneys said they’ll appeal the verdict while Hadfield’s family vowed to take Snow to court.

Hadfield supporter (from December 19, 1987 KSL TV archive): We are going to see that this man is innocent and we’re going to see that Barbara Snow is the one behind bars because she has abused these children. And we see that justice is done.

Dave Cawley: I don’t know the truth of whether Alan Hadfield abused his children or not. But no evidence ever surfaced to support the broader stories of a covert neighborhood child sex ring practicing satanic ritual abuse.

In his appeal, Hadfield noted Barbara Snow had brought forward strikingly similar stories in at least two other cases in different cities. The Utah Supreme Court overturned Hadfield’s conviction in 1990, due to lingering doubt about Snow’s techniques. In a separate but similar case, the 10th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals later called Snow’s conduct “disturbing and irresponsible.”

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: Similar storylines were unfolding in communities across the U.S. during the ‘80s. One of the most famous cases occurred in Los Angeles, California, where the McMartin family operated a preschool. A therapist there uncovered claims of child sex abuse against the McMartins, some of which involved satanism. A sprawling investigation ensued, with more than 300 potential victims identified.

Members of the McMartin family were arrested in 1984 and charged with hundreds of criminal counts. The court case dragged on for years and concluded without a single conviction. Afterward, it came to light the statements of many potential child victims might’ve been coerced.  Other people were accused, charged and even convicted on some pretty flimsy evidence in cases around the globe because of the panic surrounding satanism at the time.

I want to be clear here: child sex abuse is real. It does happen. And it’s important we not dismiss the disclosures of potential victims. At the same time, we need to recognize the fallibility of memory. Kids are impressionable and trauma can affect how they perceive the world. Child sex abuse cases can be notoriously difficult to prosecute for this reason. This is even more true when those cases include a ritual aspect.

Mike King: And ritualism isn’t satanism. Now, the Legislature, the media, the public want, every time you say ‘ritual’ even today, immediately think ‘satanism’ and it absolutely isn’t.

Dave Cawley: That again is Mike King, a former cop and an expert when it comes to the investigation of ritual abuse. He’s making an important point. Ritual abuse can mean different things to different people depending on how it’s defined. “Ritual” by itself doesn’t necessarily mean satanic or occult. It just means rites or ceremonies that are repeated. Those can be religious rites just easily as satanic ones.

Mike King: Never in the beginning did I think of the Zion Society as a ritual crime because I didn’t even know what that really was. We looked at it as child sex abuse.

Dave Cawley: The Zion Society. We’ll get into what that was in just a moment. First, let me set the stage. Mike King had spent the better part of a decade working as a cop in Ogden, Utah in the 1980s, before accepting a job as an investigator at the Weber County Attorney’s Office. In July of ’91, he was heading up an undercover operation aimed at busting car theft rings and chop shops.

Mike King: One day I walked into the county attorney’s office and the receptionist grabbed me and said ‘there’s a woman who’s been waiting to talk to an investigator but nobody’s available. Can you just talk to her for a moment?’ So I walked over. Just an attractive 20-year-old woman sitting there who stood up very confidently and introduced herself and the first words out of her mouth was ‘I’ve been involved in a cult that’s sexually abusing children. Do you have a minute to talk to me?’ And so I invited her back to the office where we could get a tape recorder out and start interviewing and my mind was racing. I’d never investigated sexual crimes other than as a patrol officer and then it was handed off to detectives. It was completely out of my wheelhouse and after that first interview I went into the county attorney and I laid it on the table and said ‘you’ve gotta get somebody.’ And he said ‘guess what, buddy? You’re gonna do this one.’

Dave Cawley: The informant had told Mike about a group of people called the Zion Society, who were practicing polygamy and child sex abuse as part of a religious philosophy. The county attorney, a man named Reed Richards, saw that Mike had managed to built a rapport with this informant.

Mike King: When I laid this out with the county attorney, I remember Mr. Richards’ first comment was ‘if this is true, we have to move quickly because children are being injured.’ And so the dictate from him was to drop everything, assemble a team that I needed to be successful and day-and-night investigate. And we were putting in 18, 20 hour days for a month just because we were so terrified that if it was true, children were being raped and sexually assaulted daily.

Dave Cawley: Mike conducted several follow-up interviews with the informant. She provided detailed information about the inner workings of the Zion Society and also described how she’d fallen into the orbit of its leader, a self-proclaimed prophet named Arvin Shreeve.

Mike King: The very first words out of her mouth were ‘I joined this group to get away from a failing marriage and I’d never planned on joining a cult.’ Once she got inside and realized that they were teaching polygamist practices which she didn’t believe in but frankly was saying, ‘y’know, if I’ve gotta live that way to have a safe place to live and a roof over my head, maybe I can do that.’ But as the doctrine perverted, she then got word and started witnessing that it wasn’t only women who were having relationships with the leader of the group, Arvin Shreeve, but that he was then dictating that they should have relations with each other, a same-sex relationship, all in what he believed was his god’s approval. And then it continued to pervert, as always it seems these sexual predations do, and it soon became ‘now the children need to be involved.’ And then she became involved in the instruction of how to prepare these children to have relationships with Arvin or the adult women and men in the group.

Dave Cawley: Shreeve didn’t outwardly appear like a suave, charismatic cult leader. He was short, double-chinned and had receding hair that was gray at the temples. He wore thick glasses. But he could talk the talk when it came to the language of Utah’s predominant religious culture. Arvin had grown up as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, a faith that back then embraced the nickname the Mormons.

But Arvin had been kicked out of the church for publicly advocating his personal beliefs favoring polygamy. It was then he’d taken his philosophy underground. He’d held “scripture study” meetings with friends and neighbors, perfecting his pitch that he’d received personal revelation about a pathway to exaltation. That’s how the Zion Society was born.

Mike King: Knowing that Shreeve was  a Latter-day Saint in the early days of his life — he’d been excommunicated almost 30 years before his arrest — he was taking what he had learned as a youth and again, in my opinion, corrupting that and turning it into something else. And so that’s a term that he picked up and designed.

Dave Cawley: Arvin exerted extreme control over the lives of his flock. The women all had to wear dresses and heels. The men needed to keep their suburban yards meticulously landscaped. All of Arvin’s edicts tied back to his own personal gratification.

Mike King: He took seemingly intelligent people who had likeminded beliefs of wanting to just be a little better than anyone else, to have more light and knowledge than the next guy and slowly crafted and groomed them to the point that they believed that this, okay as distasteful as it might be, is my pathway to heaven. I guess I better do it.

Dave Cawley: Mike’s informant explained Zion Society members — who were said to number more than 100 — mostly lived together in a single subdivision.

Larry Lewis (from August 2, 1991 KSL TV archive): Neighbors describe the people on this street as a tight-knit group. Some call them polygamists, an accusation they deny.

Stan Belnap (from August 2, 1991 KSL TV archive): We don’t consider ourselves a cult, a church of any kind.

Mike King: We started looking at the neighborhood as a group. And there were up to 14 homes in this neighborhood that were all working together. They were interconnected by alarm systems. They were stockpiling semi-automatic weapons and food storage and medical supplies. … The thing that became so troubling to us is that two of the homes we identified as you enter the neighborhood were security residents. And their responsibility was to watch 24 hours a day. Any traffic, foot or vehicle, that came in through this narrow pipeway into the neighborhood. And if they saw something, they would then notify leadership. … We had that information, we had information from our informant that the members were being trained in anti-sniper and how to use weapons and that one day we’re going to have to defend our space. … And so as we started to put this doomsday belief system and the reality of what had been revealed by this informant, we realized that, that we had to get in there and serve search warrants.

Larry Lewis (from August 2, 1991 KSL TV archive): According to court records, someone within that very group came forward complaining that the adults were showing children a pornographic video tape. The tape was described as sexually explicit and used as an instructional tool for the children.

Dave Cawley: The informant described how Shreeve and one of his lieutenants had created manuals for the others, instructing them on how to abuse children.

Mike King: In one case, a couple revealed that they witnessed probably 50,000 dollars worth of pornography that Shreeve had purchased over the years and then systematically cut out to be presentation material during his instruction of what to do. And so we knew that we could potentially find a treasure trove of evidence to support. … Along the way, we learned some odd things that really were troubling. And one of those was that an individual had been purchasing sex from children in the group and that the adult leaders in the group were, were in effect prostituting the children out to people that were not cult members. Well, this was so far beyond the belief system that they were purporting that we had to follow up. And I actually took the county attorney with me on this particular one and we went and found the individual in Logan who later confessed that yes, he was involved in this. So every time I would walk in and say ‘you’re not going to believe this one, Reed.’ We would be able to prove that it was true. And so the informant’s credibility continued to grow which made it much more easy to go into a judge and justify an affidavit.

Dave Cawley: Just weeks after his first encounter with the informant, Mike went to court to obtain a series of warrants. He sought permission not only to raid the Zion Society homes, but also to arrest Arvin Shreeve and to take up to 32 children into protective custody.

Mike King: We knew that we had to get in and go with a show of force so that we could quickly get control. But we knew that with that, there would be a price to pay because that would be traumatizing to children who we needed to take into custody. So we also reached out to the Utah Division of Family Services and got case workers on hand with vans so that we could immediately get the children into professionals to get help. And if you think back, this was July and August of 1991. We had just opened a brand new children’s justice center — the first one in the state of Utah. And it was in its first month of infancy. And we notified them ‘get ready. We’re not going to tell you why, but get ready.’

Dave Cawley: The Children’s Justice Center concept was a new invention, meant to avoid some of the pitfalls observed in cases like the Alan Hadfield prosecution a few years earlier. Staff there received special training in how to conduct forensic interviews with child victims of crime. They took great care to avoid tainting memories or coercing confessions.

Raiding the Zion Society compound took a lot of coordination and manpower. Mike arranged a strike team composed of roughly half the entire Ogden city police force. They executed the raid just before sunrise on August 2, 1991.

Larry Lewis (from August 2, 1991 KSL TV archive): Police raided five homes in this North Ogden subdivision, removing four children from one home and five from another. The children range in age from four to 11 years old. Stan Belnap’s house was one of the five raided.

Stan Belnap (from August 2, 1991 KSL TV archive): They took my kids a little before 8 o’clock. They were still in bed.

Mike King: I remember walking out of the judge’s office after getting the warrant signed, and uh, and I remember the judge saying ‘happy hunting.’ And as I walked out I thought ‘I’ve put my credibility on the line’ because this, this is kind of a big deal. And, and when I got inside the homes and started seeing the secret passageways, the food storage, the medical supplies which were incredible. They had been going into area hospitals, faking injuries and then stealing all of the supplies they could to, to build up their medical facility inside the cult. It was incredible. I was so troubled because we weren’t finding the weapons that they spoke about. And I remember sitting on the floor in the corner of one room with my map that my informant had drawn, saying ‘here’s where there are some guns’ and thinking ‘she missed the mark on this one. There are no guns here.’ And subconsciously I was tugging on the shag carpet and I felt the carpet give way and I heard a ripping of velcro and I peeled back the velcro and panels of uh, wood piled up, in there were stacked fully-loaded mini 14 semi-assault rifles. It was surreal.

Dave Cawley: No one fired a shot that morning. The children were whisked away to be interviewed. The parents, caught unprepared, stood aside as officers scoured their homes. But the search teams found no trace of the pornographic instruction manuals or training videos the informant had described.

Mike King: Yes, in fact what we believe happened is when this informant left the cult, uh it took her a couple of weeks until she got the courage to come into the county attorney’s office and confess that the cult was smart enough to realize that we might be into a little bit of trouble. And what they did, they burned boxes and boxes of pornography, according to the victims and the people who were later testifying. Uh, got rid of as much information as they possible could and so we did lose a treasure trove, even though we moved at breakneck speed.

Larry Lewis (from August 2, 1991 KSL TV archive): The children will remain in protective custody through the weekend. A hearing is scheduled for early next week to determine whether they’ll remain wards of the state or be returned to their parents.

Dave Cawley: The children were slow to open up to the investigators. police in time came to learn Zion Society members had coached them to instill a fear of police. During the raid Arvin Shreeve was nowhere to be found.

Mike King: We had warrants for Arvin. He was not there on the morning of the raid and was, we later learned was traveling, either in Arizona or California. Some of us — me — believe that he was hiding in a bunker that we couldn’t get a search warrant for.

Larry Lewis (from August 9, 1991 KSL TV archive): Wednesday, an Ogden judge issued an arrest warrant for Shreeve, charging him with aggravated sexual assault and sodomy on a child after two children told police Shreeve told them to perform a sex act. The accusations follow a lengthy investigation into Shreeve and others in his neighborhood who allegedly practice polygamy and have group sex.

Dave Cawley: Arvin surprised everyone by surrendering. A week after the raid, he walked into the police headquarters in Cedar City, Utah, nearly 300 miles to the south of Ogden.

Larry Lewis (from August 9, 1991 KSL TV archive): Shreeve walked into the police station, identified himself and told police he was wanted. A friend of Shreeve’s who was contacted by police apparently convinced him to give up.

Dave Cawley: Prosecutors waged a series of court battles against both Shreeve and a number of his adult followers, in the months that followed. The state lost custody of the children, most of whom were returned to the very parents who stood accused of facilitating their abuse. Time and again, the young victims were hauled into court to testify during preliminary hearings.

Mike King: We made a conscious decision that we can’t continue to force the children to testify because back then, if you remember, the courts required that the child testify in a preliminary hearing. Well, defense attorneys could get away with a whole lot more aggression in a prelim without a jury than they would ever dare try in front of a jury. And it was so distressing to us to see the children go through this badgering during the questioning phase.

Dave Cawley: The prosecutors believed they had evidence to support more than 700 felony counts of child sex abuse, but they filed only the most egregious. In the end, all but one of the people charged as a result of the Zion Society raid took plea deals and admitted to the abuse. Arvin Shreeve included.

Gary Gale (from December 23, 1991 KSL TV archive): What he was trying to avoid was a sentence of 15 years to life to run consecutively. That’s what he was trying to avoid, that’s what we were trying to avoid, that’s what we’ve avoided.

Dave Cawley: He spent the rest of his life in prison and died there in 2009, at the age of 79. Arvin had used zealotry and religious rituals to coerce his followers into doing the unthinkable. It was ritual abuse, but not satanic.

Mike King: They were using religion or a belief system as a guise for power. They were using it as a guise for intimidation and control. They were using it as a way to justify what was wrong and make it something special because we can’t really wrap our minds around deity or things like that. … I mean, I had some real struggles thinking of the horrors. It was impacting my own life. I had children the same age as these victims were at the time. And uh, for anyone to think that a police officer can just isolate the job is, is really unfair.

Dave Cawley: Mike recently published a memoir of his work on the Zion Society case. The book, titled “Deceived,” goes into more depth about the investigation and aftermath than I have time to explore here. And that’s because we still need to talk about the next phase of Mike’s career.

Mike King: It was way outside of normal police work to say we’re gonna pursue Satan.

Dave Cawley: That’s after the break.

[Ad break]

Dave Cawley: In March of 1990, Utah’s governor established a task force to study to the issue of ritual abuse. Leading the task force was a psychologist named Noemi Mattis, herself a firm believer in the stories of secret satanic ritual abuse. The group included members from the fields of mental health, law enforcement, education, the courts and religion. The task force’s stated goal was to study ritual abuse and educate both professionals and the public about it.

At the same time, Utah’s predominant religion — The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints — was also conducting an internal study about claims of satanic ritual abuse. This comes from an October, 1991 KSL TV news report, after a confidential church memo validating the idea of widespread satanic activity became public.

Jane Clayson (from October 25, 1991 KSL TV archive): Jody is one of the victims LDS Church general authority Glenn Pace interviewed for the internal, confidential church memo printed in an anti-LDS Church newsletter yesterday. The year-old memo estimates up to 800 people may be involved in such abuse along the Wasatch Front. Church members, some church leaders. Jody says LDS doctrine was twisted and distorted in the ritual ceremonies.

“Jody” (from October 25, 1991 KSL TV archive): There was a lot of violence and sexual perversion that went along with different scriptural settings.

Dave Cawley: The task force issued a report in 1992. It acknowledged the members had at first differed about whether they believed widespread ritual abuse was taking place. Some were skeptics. But, the report said, all had read literature on the subject. A bibliography attached to the task force report showed among the reading was an article titled “Ritualistic Child Abuse in a Neighborhood Setting,” co-authored by none other than Barbara Snow, the social worker who as I described earlier in this episode had been accused of coercing Alan Hadfield’s children into making disclosures of ritualistic abuse.

I should note, the prosecutor from the Hadfield case, Robert Parrish, was also a member of the governor’s ritual abuse task force. A task force that spent a lot of time hearing from people who claimed to have been victims of satanists.

Robert Parrish (from October 25, 1991 KSL TV archive): With those reports, it’s very difficult, even though it’s currently happening, to find any corroborative evidence. If it’s happening, these people are extremely careful and maybe the best at keeping quiet about what they do.

Dave Cawley: There was no mention in the task force report of the very real ritual abuse that’d been exposed just a year earlier in the Zion Society case. It didn’t fit the mold because it hadn’t involved satanism.

The task force said groups that ritually abused children were typically satanists, pagans or practitioners of ceremonial magic. The report also said satanic abuse was sometimes carried out by secretive generational cults. These cults were said to have existed for centuries, with practitioners being born and raised into them. The report said “members are often well-known and respected within their larger communities” and “their continued existence as successful, prestigious and powerful persons in outer society depends upon absolute secrecy of the inner group activities.”

Noemi Mattis, the task force’s figurehead, explained away the lack of firm evidence backing this up when interviewed about the report.

Noemi Mattis (from May 20, 1991 KSL TV archive): Very difficult to prove any cases in a court of law which involve ritual abuse simply because the people who are involved with it have real expertise at hiding their tracks.

Dave Cawley: Mattis and the task force members were hardly alone. A January, 1992 public opinion poll showed a stunning fraction of Utah residents — 90 percent — believed satanic ritual abuse of children was occurring. The task force recommended the creation of a new unit within the Utah Attorney General’s Office, which would have statewide jurisdiction to root out ritual abuse and generational satanism.

Here’s where Mike King comes back into our story. He was at the tail end of the prosecutions in the Zion Society case when the governor’s task force made its recommendations.

Mike King: So, I was reached out to by the attorney general and invited to come to the Attorney General’s Office having what they considered to be probably one of the more robust backgrounds now in organized, cultic behavior.

Dave Cawley: The Utah Legislature allocated a quarter of a million dollars to the AG’s Office. The money came with a mandate: investigate these ritual abuse reports. If satanists were sacrificing babies and burning bodies, Mike was supposed to find the evidence.

Mike King: There was so much going on and there were allegations all across the state that the local police departments were, frankly, ill-equipped to manage.

Dave Cawley: Mike and his new partner at the AG’s Office spent the next two years digging into the reports.

Mike King: And I can’t tell you how many wild goose chases I went on. I can’t even tell you how many times I went into, into central Utah to look at cows that were dead because an alien or Satan or something else came down and, and dissected this cow and carefully removed its eyes or whatever else. And I remember on one occasion I was with a fish and game officer and I was getting sucked into this. I’m looking at this cow and it was surgically, perfect around the eyes where the eyeballs had been removed. … I was laser-focused on this and I’m going ‘what do you think here’ and the fish and game cop just bursts out laughing and he says ‘well, I think two things: number one, birds and predators go for the softer squishy parts’ and he said ‘all of this magpie mess around the fur by the eye should be an indication to you.’ And it was like, we all were getting so focused on the tree that we were missing a big forest.

Dave Cawley: Time and again, Mike went looking for hard evidence to support the accusations, only to return empty-handed.

Mike King: It took us awhile to figure out we need to pull back on the reins a little bit and we need to investigate these the way we know how to investigate. We need to investigate the child sexual abuse and then bring that ritualism in as an aggravating factor during sentencing or at the appropriate time during the trial. But quit allowing, uh, the courts and the public to drag us down into the weeds to talk about Satan when it really is about children being sexually assaulted.

Dave Cawley: This was something Mike had learned from the Zion Society case.

Mike King: So there were a number that resulted in prosecution for a number of different things as we identified the sexually assault. We were only able to truly get confessions where someone had used satanism or satanic beliefs or doctrine as part of their control mechanism in about three or four.

Dave Cawley: Three or four instances of satanism out of hundreds of reports. And even then, the form satanism in those cases wasn’t the generational kind, infiltrating through every facet of society. It wasn’t black masses or human sacrifices. It was instead a show: the use of scary imagery to terrify a victim into silence.

Mike King: It’s bunch of smoke and mirror and a bunch of terror.

Dave Cawley: Mike and his partner put together a report of their own, detailing their findings. They published it in 1995.

Duane Cardall (from April 25, 1995 KSL TV archive): Mike King and another investigator have been looking into what some call the satanism scare. This governor’s task force wanted it done and the Legislature came up with $250,000 to support it.

Mike King (from April 25, 1995 KSL TV archive): We started with about 225 cases over the course of that period.

Duane Cardall (from April 25, 1995 KSL TV archive): Cases of alleged abuse of adults remembering horrific stories from their youth of mutilations, torture, even human sacrifice.

Mike King (from April 25, 1995 KSL TV archive): We found sites all across the state, not in great numbers, but all across the state that support the fact that there are dabblers out there.

Dave Cawley: More than 25 years have passed since Mike’s report went public. You can still find it online — I’ve included links to it in the show notes and at thecoldpodcast.com — and it’s an interesting read.

Mike King: Because the Latter-day Saint population is so prominent here in Salt Lake and in Utah, many of the allegations were that this person would pray like a Latter-day Saint or something else. Well, what we found so interesting is that if we talked to our peer investigators in Chicago that were doing this, where the Catholic Church was strong, they prayed like Catholics. If they were down in the South they prayed like a Christian down there. And so we started to also recognize that this is geographically and historically going to be influenced. I don’t know why that wasn’t picked up on before but we felt like that was an incredibly important point.

Dave Cawley: Mike’s report walked a fine line. It didn’t call out the satanic hysteria, but it also didn’t validate it. At least, not much.

Duane Cardall (from April 25, 1995 KSL TV archive): So what about all the people who have been coming forth in recent years with sudden memories of being involved in ritual abuse as children and recalling that Satan worship was involved?

Mike King (from April 25, 1995 KSL TV archive): My personal belief is that we have pedophiles who are using this as one of the ways to keep their crimes secret.

Dave Cawley: Mike’s report invoked to the Zion Society case to make this point. Arvin Shreeve had used religious ritual to manipulate his victims.

Mike King: I mean it’s theatrics. It’s power, dominion and control and how am I going to accomplish that? For some people it’s brute force. For others its emotional pressure. I mean, we see it in domestic violence cases where we see people who stay in a relationship that others would walk away from screaming.

Dave Cawley: There’s a huge gulf though between the concept of secret generational satanic sex abuse cults and one-off abusers who simply use occult imagery to keep their victims quiet.

Duane Cardall (from April 25, 1995 KSL TV archive): Yes, their 58-page report concludes there are isolated, verifiable accounts of people doing horrible things to others, sometimes in the name of Satan. But they also conclude it is not widespread.

Mike King (from April 25, 1995 KSL TV archive): We found absolutely no evidence that would support that there are generational cults or members of cults that have infiltrated every level of government or religious organizations or community organizations.

Dave Cawley: Let me underline that. No evidence of generational satanic cults. That part wasn’t real.

Mike King: Is it possible we missed a coven or a group of people that were dressing up in robes and, and worshipping Satan? Absolutely. But by focusing on the crime we were able to solve and make arrests and get help for children, umm, and then hopefully learn lessons along the way.

Dave Cawley: This was a tricky thing to communicate in the report, because Mike didn’t want to invalidate the experiences of child sex abuse victims who believed they’d witnessed or been a part of satanic ritual abuse. But the fact was, ritual abuse allegations involving human sacrifice, generational satanism and a widespread conspiracy could not be corroborated.

Mike concluded the report by writing “the investigation of ritual crimes may be in its infancy today, as child sexual abuse investigations were 25 years ago.” It seems to me this left the door open for true believers of the satanic abuse myth to say “just because you didn’t find evidence, doesn’t mean it’s not there.” But what we see from the Zion Society case — or even the sex abuse scandals that have engulfed the Catholic Church, the Boy Scouts of America and other trusted organizations — is that child sex abuse rarely involves pentagrams, demons and blood sacrifice.

Mike King: Hopefully we took enough of a fact-based delivery into account that people see how we backed up what we said. But to a true believer for us to say ‘we didn’t find it’ is really troubling. And again, to me it goes back to that notion of if we believe something, we’re going to twist everything we can to make it look real.

Dave Cawley: That twisting had huge consequences for people who were accused on the basis of coerced confessions or implanted memories. With the satanic panic, investigators were often tasked with hunting for evidence that would support the public’s or even a psychologist’s pre-determined conclusion: that satanic ritual abuse was occurring, even if it wasn’t.

Mike King: And you don’t want to allow those things to drive the investigation. A police officer’s responsibility is to just gather facts.

Dave Cawley: Which takes us full circle back to the Joyce Yost case. The unfounded report that a satanic coven had killed Joyce came very near to knocking that investigation permanently off track. Had Rhonda Buttars not confessed the truth of her ex-husband Doug Lovell’s actions, Sgt. Terry Carpenter would’ve continued on searching for evidence to support the idea Joyce’d died in a ritual ceremony. That evidence, of course, didn’t exist because that’s not what’d happened. At some point, the trail would’ve gone cold and the truth of what Doug did to Joyce might never have come to light.

Mike King: The real wisdom that came from that ritual crime report, from looking at the Zion Society, looking at Joyce Yost’s case and the amount of tentacles that that case had, imagine how much more could have happened if we’d have focused on the elements of the crime rather than all the tertiary stuff that was just kind of sexy and needed to be chased.

Ep 13: Last Chance


Let me tell you of how I first came to hear Utah death row inmate Doug Lovell’s mouse story.

In April of 2019, as I was wrapping up production on the first season of Cold, a colleague of mine went on the airwaves of KSL NewsRadio to talk about a suicide prevention documentary she’d produced called “Hope in Your Darkest Hour.”

“Life is hard. We can’t do it alone,” Candice Madsen said in the radio interview with KSL’s Dave and Dujanovic. “We just need to reach out and support each other and validate without judgement.”

Douglas Lovell was among the people listening to Candice’s words. From his cell in Uinta 1, the Utah State Prison’s maximum-security facility, Doug took note of the message. And he decided to share his reaction with Candice in a hand-written letter.

“I thought your comments were spot-on,” Doug wrote. “Enclosed is a pamphlet which has a story about a little mouse I crossed paths with here at the prison many, many years ago.”


Doug Lovell’s mouse story

The pamphlet included with Doug’s letter was titled “Unforeseen Angel.” The front page featured an illustration of a plump gray mouse with a piece of cheese. The inside pages of the pamphlet told of his arrival at prison.

“When I first arrived, I was in very bad shape mentally, emotionally, physically, and in grave spiritual darkness,” Doug wrote. “I was separated from my family and the free world, addicted to drugs and alcohol, angry, frustrated, and in denial.

Doug Lovell's mouse story, written while he was on death row, tells of his arrival at the Utah State Prison.
Doug Lovell has lived at the Utah State Prison continuously since arriving in January of 1986, following his conviction for the rape of Joyce Yost. Photo: Utah Department of Corrections

Doug went on to describe how he’d encountered a mouse and lured it to his cell with bits of food.

“This was the happiest moment on A-block,” Doug wrote. “I was happy to give the little guy anything he wanted.”

Doug wrote that his interactions with the mouse had helped him endure a difficult adjustment to prison life and his feelings of remorse for having taken an innocent life.

“That little creature that God put on this earth distracted me just long enough to help get me through the darkest, loneliest, most unstable time in my life,” Doug wrote.

Doug Lovell’s mouse story omitted the details of his crime. The pamphlet did not identify Doug by name. It also did not identify the person he’d killed, Joyce Yost, or explain how he’d kidnapped and sexually assaulted her before returning months later to kill her.

Joyce Yost Utah
Doug Lovell murdered Joyce Yost in 1985 to prevent her from testifying against him in court. The pamphlet containing Doug Lovell’s mouse story did not mention Joyce by name or explain why he’d killed her. Photo: Joyce Yost family

The back page of the pamphlet included information about suicide prevention resources, along with a logo for the Utah-based non-profit Rising Star Outreach.


Rising Star Outreach

Rising Star Outreach’s tax filings describe the organization’s mission as empowering “individuals and families to rise above the stigma associated with leprosy, and to live healthy and productive lives through quality education, medical care, and community development.” Suicide prevention work did not fall under that umbrella. Neither did working with death row inmates.

Doug Lovell had first become aware of Rising Star in 2007, after seeing a PBS documentary about the organization and its founder, Rebecca Douglas, called “Breaking the Curse.” He’d started contributing a small amount of money each month to her cause. They’d exchanged letters and Doug had eventually invited Rebecca to visit him at the prison.

I don’t know that Doug. I only know the Doug that I met in 2007.

Becky Douglas

That’s how Rising Star Outreach had come to champion the account of a man who’d kidnapped, raped and murdered a woman. Rebecca Douglas had not only tapped a sanitized version of Doug Lovell’s story for the Unforeseen Angel pamphlet, she’d also written about her experiences with him for Meridian Magazine.

Rebecca testified at an evidentiary hearing tied to Doug’s death penalty appeal on August 12, 2019. She said she and Doug had never discussed the details of the crime that’d resulted in his twice receiving a death sentence.

“I don’t think I need to know the details of what happened to Joyce Yost,” Rebecca said from the witness stand. “I think all this is irrelevant … because I don’t know that Doug. I only know the Doug that I met in 2007.”


Character witnesses

Doug Lovell’s 2019 letter to KSL’s Candice Madsen seemed designed to spark a similar connection. She wrote back to him later that year.

“I just basically said that I was interested in interviewing him,” Candice said. “I think it was only a paragraph long.”

Doug Lovell responded in another letter dated November 9, 2019.

“I appreciate your offer to come to the prison to interview me, but I must decline,” Doug wrote. “Whenever I am in the news, I know that it is very upsetting to the family and loved ones of Ms. Yost. Each time I am in court, I believe it is very difficult for them.”

Candice had by that point already been in contact with Joyce Yost’s daughter Kim Salazar and informed her of KSL’s intention to produce an in-depth podcast series about her mother’s murder.

“If he were trying to minimize our pain and suffering at this point, we wouldn’t still be on a 23B remand 35 years later,” Kim said during an interview for Cold. “We’re still arguing about ineffective assistance of counsel. It’s ridiculous. So he is not trying to spare us anything.”


Hear how Doug Lovell’s mouse story plays into his death penalty appeal in Cold episode 13: Last Chance

Episode credits
Research, writing and hosting: Dave Cawley
Audio production: Nina Earnest
Audio mixing: Trent Sell
Additional voices: Richie Steadman (as Doug Lovell)
Cold main score composition: Michael Bahnmiller
Cold main score mixing: Dan Blanck
KSL executive producers: Sheryl Worsley, Keira Farrimond
Workhouse Media executive producers: Paul Anderson, Nick Panella, Andrew Greenwood
Amazon Music team: Morgan Jones, Eliza Mills, Vanessa Rebbert, Shea Simpson
Episode transcript: https://thecoldpodcast.com/season-2-transcript/last-chance-full-transcript/
KSL companion story: https://ksltv.com/464974/douglas-lovell-seeks-to-reverse-second-death-sentence-in-joyce-yost-murder/
Talking Cold companion episode: https://thecoldpodcast.com/talking-cold#tc-episode-13

Cold season 2, episode 13: Last Chance – Full episode transcript

Dave Cawley: Sean Young, one of the attorneys who’d represented Doug Lovell during his 2015 capital murder trial, met with the attorney handling Doug’s appeal of his death sentence in March, 2019.

That second attorney, Colleen Coeburgh, made an audio recording of their conversation.

Sean Young (from March, 2019 recording): I don’t care what happens to Doug. I used to care. I don’t care anymore.

Colleen Coebergh (from March, 2019 recording): Ok. And I appreciate that.

Sean Young (from March, 2019 recording): He’s a manipulator and a sociopath and I’m done with him. You can tell him I said that. Hi Doug.

Dave Cawley: If you didn’t catch that, Sean called Doug “a manipulator and a sociopath.” But I’m getting ahead of myself here, so let’s a take a moment and review.

Doug Lovell’s rape and murder of Joyce Yost in 1985 had created a legal mess. His guilty plea to capital murder in ’93 — followed by his conviction for the same crime at trial in 2015 — meant he’d twice received a death sentence. But by 2017, the case had once again become bound up by an appeal. Doug’d had claimed Sean Young had torpedoed the 2015 trial by failing to call many people Doug’d identified as potential character witnesses. He’d also claimed lawyers for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints had interfered with the testimonies of several people Sean had called to the witness stand.

Doug also opened a second front on Sean by filing a complaint against him with the Utah State Bar, which he mentioned in this letter to Judge Michael DiReda.

Richie Steadman (as Doug Lovell): The Utah State Bar investigated Mr. Young and on March 2, 2017, voted to direct the Office of Professional Conduct to file a formal complaint against Mr. Young in District Court.

Dave Cawley: Doug’s wasn’t the only bar complaint pending against Sean. There were others rising out of at least 20 different cases. Sean reached an agreement during the summer of 2018 to settle all those complaints. As part of that agreement, he signed a statement admitting fault in Doug’s case.

The statement said Sean had failed to screen all but two of the 18 witnesses assigned to him during Doug’s trial; that he’d failed to question the witnesses who did testify about their beliefs Doug was a remorseful man and that he’d capitulated to the church’s lawyers. A judge suspended Sean’s law license for a period of three years. Sean told the Deseret News at the time he didn’t agree with the claims in the statement, but had signed it simply to put the matter behind him.

Meantime, Doug’s new appellate attorney, Colleen Coebergh, was dogging Sean. She’d learned he possessed hundreds of emails that could be relevant to Doug’s appeal. In a sworn affidavit, Colleen wrote Sean had repeatedly told her he would provide them, then repeatedly failed to do so. She had to ask Judge DiReda to issue a court order demanding Sean surrender his emails, which the judge did. And so that’s why Sean and Colleen met at a courthouse in Salt Lake City, to make that exchange in March of 2019.

Colleen Coebergh (from March, 2019 recording): Ok, you’ve given up every document that you have?

Sean Young (from March, 2019 recording): To Sam, yeah.

Colleen Coebergh (from March, 2019 recording): Ok.

Dave Cawley: Sean told Colleen he disagreed with any suggestion his representation of Doug had been ineffective.

Sean Young (from March, 2019 recording): I did my best to help him. I actually cared about Doug. I did my best I could. I gave him advice. I said, ‘hey, waive your jury, waive the jury and go back to Judge DiReda like you did with judge uh, the original judge on the case.’ I forgot. And he didn’t want to do that—

Colleen Coebergh (from March, 2019 recording): Taylor.

Sean Young (from March, 2019 recording): Judge Taylor. And he said ‘no, Judge Taylor already sentenced me to death one time. I’m not going to waive my jury. I want a jury.’ He said, ‘no jury’s going to convict me.’ And I told him to take the stand. Those were my two pieces of advice that we talked about the whole time. And last thing he backed out. So he, he manipulated me the whole time. And I’m done with him. I’m done.

Dave Cawley: Sean said he refused to spend any more time on Doug.

Colleen Coebergh (from March, 2019 recording): I sit and waste hours and hours on this case. I haven’t been paid a dollar. I’m out $100,000 on this case and I’m kind of done with it. I’m frustrated. You guys get paid, Sam got paid, everyone gets paid except me. I’m kind of sick of it.

Dave Cawley: Sean said he wouldn’t get his law license back, even if the court decided his work for Doug had been up to par.

Sean Young (from March, 2019 recording): You’re not going to help me. You’re not there to help me.

Mitigation expert (from March, 2019 recording): Well we’re, we’re trying to help Doug.

Sean Young (from March, 2019 recording): I don’t care about Doug. He’s a manipulative sociopath. I’m kind of done with him. He manipulated me. He manipulated Sam. He manipulated you. He’s manipulated everybody. It’s what he does. That’s all he does. He’s manipulative.

Dave Cawley: Doug Lovell hadn’t been able to convince a single juror he deserved a chance for parole, but he was about to work his way out of maximum security at the Utah State Prison and one step closer to his ultimate goal: freedom. 

This is the finale of Cold, season two, episode 13: Last Chance. From KSL Podcasts, I’m Dave Cawley. Back after this break.

[Ad break]

Dave Cawley: Doug Lovell happened to be listening to the radio on April 3, 2019 when he heard a woman named Candice Madsen on the airwaves of KSL NewsRadio.

Candice Madsen (from April 3, 2019 KSL NewsRadio archive): With your kids, you want to be the hero, right? You want to be in charge of everything. I think it’s okay for your kids to see you be vulnerable and to let your kids know that you struggle but that you got help.

Dave Cawley: Candice worked as a producer for KSL TV and was promoting a documentary called “Hope in Your Darkest Hour.” The 22-minute program profiled several people affected by suicide, including some who described their first-hand struggles coping with thoughts of self-harm.

Candice Madsen (from April 3, 2019 KSL NewsRadio archive): Life is hard. We can’t do it alone. We just need to reach out and support each other and validate without judgement. I think people are so afraid of being judged.

Dave Cawley: Doug wrote Candice a letter that same day.

Richie Steadman (as Doug Lovell): Dear Ms. Candice Madsen, I just got done listening to you talk about suicide on KSL radio. I thought your comments were spot on.

Dave Cawley: The letter wasn’t the only item Doug put in the envelope.

Richie Steadman (as Doug Lovell): Enclosed is a pamphlet which has a story about a little mouse I crossed paths with here at the prison many, many years ago. I decided last year to write about my experience with the mouse in the hope that it could be used to help prevent suicide here in Utah and elsewhere.

Dave Cawley: The front of the pamphlet included an illustration of a rather plump gray mouse holding a small cube of yellow cheese. Above the mouse were printed the words: Unforeseen Angel. Candice opened the pamphlet and started to read.

Candice Madsen: It was pretty basic. It didn’t give very much information about him other than that he was an inmate.

Richie Steadman (as Doug Lovell): When I was a little boy, our family of five moved out to the country to live on a small farm. I found that I had a love for animals and a special way of connecting with them.

Dave Cawley: Let’s fast-forward through the bits where Doug described his parents’ divorce, his brother’s death and his descent into drug and alcohol abuse.

Richie Steadman (as Doug Lovell): Eventually, I did the unthinkable, for which I was sent to prison — taking the life of an innocent person.

Dave Cawley: He did not bother to say who this person was, or why he’d killed her, but said his arrival at the prison had sent him into a well of depression and “spiritual darkness.”

Richie Steadman (as Doug Lovell): One day, a little, furry-faced mouse came wandering into my cell clearly looking for trouble or an easy snack. This was the happiest moment on A-block. I was happy to give the little guy anything he wanted.

Dave Cawley: Doug spent the next four paragraphs detailing his interactions with this mouse, describing how he’d lured the critter by rubbing peanut oil between his fingertips. He said he’d talked to the mouse, finding it an attentive listener.

Richie Steadman (as Doug Lovell): May sound strange to most people, but that little creature that God put on this earth distracted me just long enough to help get me through the darkest, loneliest, most unstable time in my life.

Dave Cawley: He concluded with a proclamation that all people are children of God with value and purpose. He offered suicide prevention resources.

Richie Steadman (as Doug Lovell): If you find yourself in a very dark place struggling to find hope or purpose in life, please take the first step toward a brighter, happier, more fulfilling life.

Dave Cawley: Doug used the word “I” 30 times in this narrative. The name Joyce Yost did not appear once.

Candice Madsen: This pamphlet was so well produced. Y’know, it was professionally done. So I was kind of, was he able to do that in prison? And so, I just thought that was interesting.

Dave Cawley: Candice turned the pamphlet over and saw a logo on the back. It read “Rising Star Outreach.” Candice showed the pamphlet to a friend, who asked if she knew who Doug was or what he’d done. A quick search through the KSL archives refreshed her memory. She discovered the evidentiary hearing tied to Doug’s appeal had not yet happened, but was just around the corner.

Candice Madsen: And I started thinking, ‘I wonder if he’s just trying to kind of get character witnesses.’”

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: Utah 2nd District Court Judge Michael DiReda spent most of the month of August, 2019 on that evidentiary hearing.

Michael DiReda (from August 5, 2019 court recording): Alright, let’s turn to the matter of State of Utah versus Douglas Lovell. This is case 92-1900407. Counsel, will you state your appearances for the record, please?

Dave Cawley: Doug’s appeal of his 2015 death sentence revolved around the idea his defense team hadn’t done a good job. This is a typical step in many death penalty appeals. But the Utah Supreme Court had wanted more information before making a ruling on Doug’s claims of ineffective counsel, so it’d sent the appeal back to Judge DiReda on what’s known as a Rule 23B remand.

Russell DiReda (from August 5, 2019 court recording): This is the time scheduled for evidentiary hearing … On an order from the Supreme Court to this court under Rule 23B.

Dave Cawley: I’ve reviewed hours of this testimony but rather than plow through it all chronologically, I’m going to jump around a bit to better focus on a few particular points. I’ll start with Doug’s mouse. During the hearing, former prison guard Carl Jacobson recalled Doug having once befriended a rodent, but it wasn’t a mouse.

Carl Jacobson (from August 13, 2019 court recording): He had a pet squirrel once — Clusters — trained it and had it in his room for the whole summer. And one day I confronted him and said, ‘y’know Doug, this, this is disgusting. You and your roommate Chewy have done things wrong and you’re in jail for a reason. This squirrel has done nothing. It needs to be out chasing girl squirrels and it needs to be gathering nuts.’ And I says, ‘you keep it in a prison as your little pet. You are disgusting.’ And I left. Next day I come back. Doug Lovell, I go, ‘where’s the squirrel?’ He’d let it go.

Dave Cawley: Kent Tucker, who was married to one of Doug’s cousins, also brought up Doug’s treatment of animals.

Kent Tucker (from August 16, 2019 court recording): So, I’ve always, y’know, you hear about bad, bad guys and usually they don’t want nothing to do with animals. They’ll kill animals and stuff like that. Doug is never, that’s never been his nature. He’s, he just got a kind heart.

Dave Cawley: Kent said he’d seen that kindness all the way back in Doug’s earliest years, when he was just a boy on the farm.

Kent Tucker (from August 16, 2019 court recording): I mean he’s had skunks and squirrels and down at the prison they even had a mink come in that they brought to him and asked Doug if he was interested in this mink which, it was a wild animal, and Doug actually got it to where he could put it in his pocket and he was working at the print shop at the time and he was taking this mink with him to work.

Dave Cawley: So was the mouse mentioned in the pamphlet a real thing? Or was it an amalgam: part squirrel, part mink, part story borrowed from the movie The Green Mile? Doug’s character witnesses painted him not just as a protector of animals, but also as a shepherd of men. Leon Denney, who’d served time in the Utah State Prison in ’88, described how Doug had helped him overcome his anger.

Leon Denney (from August 5, 2019 court recording): I think I stopped hating so much. I was really filled with, with hate. Because … it made me start looking at myself and realizing that, y’know, I had to, I had to step up to the plate.

Dave Cawley: Leon had not testified at the trial, but said he would have gladly done so had Doug’s defense team bothered to ask. Other witnesses told of how Doug had cared for fellow inmates when they were ill or despondent.

Becky Douglas (from August 12, 2019 court recording): He encouraged them and he’d say ‘you can still go back to God, you can still get your life right.’ And how do I know that? Because he would say to them ‘if you don’t believe me, write Becky Douglas.’ Well I have had more than 40 prisoners writing to me because Doug Lovell said to them ‘there is a way spiritually for you to come back to the Lord.’ I have been writing to these people.

Dave Cawley: Becky Douglas had discovered in Doug an enthusiastic booster for her non-profit, Rising Star Outreach.

Becky Douglas (from August 12, 2019 court recording): The more I got to know Doug, the more I was very impressed with how remorseful he was, how much he wanted to do good, how much he cared about the children at Rising Star.

Dave Cawley: Doug had spent the last decade talking up Rising Star to anyone who would listen. In fact, several of his witnesses — including his bishops — confessed he’d talked them into contributing. Becky said Doug had spent years taking correspondence classes on religion. He’d watched a TV series about the history of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and another about the New Testament, then sent her letters explaining how each had strengthened his faith.

Becky Douglas (from August 12, 2019 court recording): These aren’t the actions of a person who’s pretending to be suddenly come-to-Jesus or religious in order to get a light sentence.

Dave Cawley: And yet, one of the bishops who’d ministered to Doug — a man named Brent Scharman — admitted deep discussion of spiritual matters had been the exception rather than the rule during their Sunday visits…

Brent Scharman (from August 28, 2019 court recording): It was more typically about everyday issues and what was going on in his life and my life and in the world at large.

Dave Cawley: …which led the state’s attorney to ask if Doug’s turn to religion might’ve been an act.

Brent Scharman (from August 28, 2019 court recording): If it’s an act, it’s a very good act.

Dave Cawley: Doug had once told his ex-wife Rhonda you “can’t be in control unless you manipulate. Russell Minas, the attorney who’d helped Doug arrange visitation with his son in the late ‘90s, said he didn’t see their friendship that way.

Mark Field (from August 5, 2019 court recording): You don’t think he’s manipulating you.

Russell Minas (from August 5, 2019 court recording): No.

Mark Field (from August 5, 2019 court recording): And that’s on the basis of telephone calls.

Russell Minas (from August 5, 2019 court recording): Right.

Mark Field (from August 5, 2019 court recording): That he controls.

Dave Cawley: One of those phone calls had come shortly after Doug had received the death verdict in 2015. Doug had called Russell, upset, wanting to know why he’d turned his back on him.

Russell Minas (from August 5, 2019 court recording): He thought that I had changed my mind about appearing to testify. He had no idea why I hadn’t, why I wasn’t there. He felt that I’d betrayed him. I did everything that I could to reassure him that I wasn’t there because nobody ever called me to testify.

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: I noticed a pattern as I listened to all this testimony. Day after day, witness after witness, the questioning almost seemed to follow a script. Appellate attorney Colleen Coeburgh would start, eliciting answers that suggested trial defense attorney Sean Young had dropped the ball.

Colleen Coebergh (from August 16, 2019 court recording): Had you had any communications with Mr. Young before he called you to the witness stand such that he would understand and know what you were even going to say when he asked you questions?

John “Jack” Newton (from August 16, 2019 court recording): No.

Dave Cawley: She asked the witnesses who’d dealt with the attorneys for The Church of Jesus Christ to explain what the church’s lawyers had said and done.

Colleen Coebergh (from August 16, 2019 court recording): And what do you think their focus was?

John “Jack” Newton (from August 16, 2019 court recording): Well, I think they were interested in protecting the good name of The Church.

Dave Cawley: Assistant Utah Attorney General Mark Field would then take over. He’d use cross-examination to reveal how little any of these people knew about what Doug had done to end up on death row. That was true even for Leon Denney, who’d met Doug in prison when Doug was still denying having raped Joyce.

Aaron Murphy (from August 5, 2019 court recording): Is it possible that Mr. Lovell really was falsely accused of rape?

Leon Denney (from August 5, 2019 court recording): I, he never told me that. I, I’ve never sat down with him and discussed what he was in for. Ever. … Y’know, it isn’t something you go around asking people what they’re in prison for it can cause just some problems, okay?

Dave Cawley: Mark Field would also point out how none of the witnesses who’d met Doug since he’d received the original death verdict in ’93 had ever interacted with him outside of maximum security.

Mark Field (from August 28, 2019 court recording): Have you ever seen how Doug Lovell reacts when a woman refuses his advances?

Brent Scharman (from August 28, 2019 court recording): No.

Mark Field (from August 28, 2019 court recording): Wouldn’t you think that someone who is capable of murdering another person in order to not go back to prison would be at least as capable of feigning remorse in order to get out of prison?

Brent Scharman (from August 28, 2019 court recording): Sure.

Mark Field (from August 28, 2019 court recording): Ok.

Dave Cawley: The point Mark was making here was that the trial defense team might’ve had good reason not to deeply probe all of Doug’s supporters in front of the jury.

Mark Field (from August 5, 2019 court recording): Because you don’t want to call people who are going to testify that Lovell should have life without parole. Right? You can’t call those people. You can only call people who will say unequivocally ‘Doug Lovell should be out.’ Because if they say anything different, then they’re say— then, the way Doug Lovell’s set it up, it’s got to be death.

Dave Cawley: Remember, Doug had refused to allow the jury the option of life without parole. Mark suggested Doug had for years intentionally kept his supporters in the dark with the singular goal of someday getting out of prison.

Mark Field (from August 16, 2019 court recording): You know, you said that Mr. Lovell is honest. And I want to kind of get to the bottom of that because you’ve also said that you never talked about the crime. Is that right?

Kent Tucker (from August 16, 2019 court recording): That’s right. I think he would have told me if I’d have asked him.

Mark Field (from August 16, 2019 court recording): Well, did he ever volunteer it?

Kent Tucker (from August 16, 2019 court recording): No.

Dave Cawley: This meant each witness was vulnerable to facing those facts for the first time on cross-examination.

Mark Field (from August 5, 2019 court recording): You would let him out of prison because you think—

Russell Minas (from August 5, 2019 court recording): Well, I certainly have heard things here today that I haven’t heard before. So, as you indicated and I acknowledged, it gives me some reason for pause.

Dave Cawley: Mark exposed other vulnerabilities, like how Gary Webster, the former bishop and parole board member, had actually signed the papers that let Doug out of prison early in the armed robbery case.

Mark Field (from August 12, 2019 court recording): That was when you were there at the Board of Pardons and Parole, is that right?

Gary Webster (from August 12, 2019 court recording): Yeah, yes.

Mark Field (from August 12, 2019 court recording): So, I mean, I guess what I’m saying is, how are, how do you know that Doug Lovell won’t do the same thing when he gets out this time?

Gary Webster (from August 12, 2019 court recording): I don’t.

Dave Cawley: What would the jury have made of that statement in 2015, when weighing the choice of giving Doug a chance at parole? I’m going to focus for a moment on the testimony of Becky Douglas, to provide a better sense of how the state’s line of attack worked. Mark asked Becky if she knew about Doug’s conviction for armed robbery in ’78. She said no.

Mark Field (from August 12, 2019 court recording): So, you didn’t know that he’d been released in three years. Right?

Becky Douglas (from August 12, 2019 court recording): Right.

Dave Cawley: This queued up a string of follow-up questions.

Mark Field (from August 12, 2019 court recording): Do you know what he did two years later, three years later?

Becky Douglas (from August 12, 2019 court recording): No, I’m sure you’re going to tell me.

Mark Field (from August 12, 2019 court recording): He raped Joyce Yost.

Becky Douglas (from August 12, 2019 court recording): ‘Kay.

Dave Cawley: He drew out each detail of the crime, starting from when Doug had first seen Joyce at the Pier 3.

Mark Field (from August 12, 2019 court recording): He watched her come out of that restaurant. And when he saw her get in her car, he followed her home. Did you know that?

Becky Douglas (from August 12, 2019 court recording): Umm, I knew that. Could I say that what he did was unbelievably heinous and atrocious and horrible. And as a woman, I think as women we all live in fear of this exact kind of thing happening. And I feel for what happened to Joyce Yost. And I feel, and I don’t think I need to know the details of what happened to Joyce Yost. What I need to know is what happened to Doug Lovell after that happened.

Dave Cawley: But Becky was not in control of this narrative. Mark continued, describing what’d happened when Joyce had arrived home.

Mark Field (from August 12, 2019 court recording): Did you know that he then looked at her and said ‘you’re attractive, do you want to go have a drink with me?’ Did you know that?

Becky Douglas (from August 12, 2019 court recording): No. I think I’ve made it very clear that I didn’t know what happened at that time.

Dave Cawley: Mark forced Becky to acknowledge what she knew — or didn’t know — never flinching away from the facts.

Mark Field (from August 12, 2019 court recording): Well did you know that after he did that he was aroused enough to then sodomize her? Did you know that?

Becky Douglas (from August 12, 2019 court recording): No, I didn’t know that.

Mark Field (from August 12, 2019 court recording): He didn’t tell you that, did he?

Becky Douglas (from August 12, 2019 court recording): I think I’ve been very clear about that.

Mark Field (from August 12, 2019 court recording): Is that ‘no, he didn’t tell you’?

Becky Douglas (from August 12, 2019 court recording): Seriously? You don’t think that’s a no? (Laughs) Of course it’s a no. I mean, this is almost, this is almost an insult, right? Can you just simply tell me what you want me to say no to and I’m happy to say no.

Dave Cawley: He asked about Doug’s efforts to hire a hitman who’d then failed to follow through. Becky said that, she knew.

Mark Field (from August 12, 2019 court recording): Did you know that he hired a second person?

Becky Douglas (from August 12, 2019 court recording): I knew that also.

Mark Field (from August 12, 2019 court recording): And do you know that that person said no?

Becky Douglas (from August 12, 2019 court recording): Yes, I read all this on the internet.

Dave Cawley: Mark described the night of Joyce’s murder, how Joyce had begged for her life as Doug force-fed her Valium and drove her into the mountains.

Mark Field (from August 12, 2019 court recording): And he choked her until she was unconscious. Were you aware of that?

Becky Douglas (from August 12, 2019 court recording): No, but I think if you’ll turn around you’ll see that there is remorse. The man that you’re talking about is crying.

Mark Field (from August 12, 2019 court recording): Your honor, your honor, this is not responsive.

Becky Douglas (from August 12, 2019 court recording): As you talk about these terrible, horrible things that he did, he’s over there weeping. And you ask me how I know he’s remorseful. I think that answers, that’s one answer to your question.

Mark Field (from August 12, 2019 court recording): So tears to you indicate sincerity?

Becky Douglas (from August 12, 2019 court recording): Well, I think tears show sorrow.

Mark Field (from August 12, 2019 court recording): Well, I guess that’s your opinion.

Dave Cawley: Becky came through this gauntlet, only to then face perhaps the most critical question.

Mark Field (from August 12, 2019 court recording): Wouldn’t you agree that there’s at least some risk that if Doug Lovell gets out, he may harm another person?

Becky Douglas (from August 12, 2019 court recording): I think that risk is so low, it’s negligible.

Mark Field (from August 12, 2019 court recording): Ok, but it’s not zero.

Becky Douglas (from August 12, 2019 court recording): It’s not zero for me either or you either. We all have the possibility of harming another person.

Mark Field (from August 12, 2019 court recording): Well, but we know that Doug Lovell raped and murdered another, murdered a woman, don’t we?

Becky Douglas (from August 12, 2019 court recording): Yes we do.

Dave Cawley: Doug’s character witnesses were not unified in their responses to this final question. Some said their newfound knowledge of Doug’s crimes did give them pause in supporting his bid for parole. Others, like former bishop John Newton, equivocated.

Mark Field (from August 16, 2019 court recording): Wouldn’t life without parole just satisfy, be the safest alternative?

John “Jack” Newton (from August 16, 2019 court recording): Well, y’know, you’re saying ‘safest.’ Would it be a safe alternative?

Mark Field (from August 16, 2019 court recording): The safest.

John “Jack” Newton (from August 16, 2019 court recording): Well, that implies that you know how Doug’s going to act in the future. And I don’t and you don’t.

Mark Field (from August 16, 2019 court recording): Yes, but you know Mr. Newton, one of your daughters is now the age that Joyce Yost was when that man raped and took her life. Do you understand that?

John “Jack” Newton (from August 16, 2019 court recording): Y’know, give me the dignity of being a professional. Of course I do.

Dave Cawley: On one point though, the witnesses all seemed to agree: the Doug they knew was not the same man who’d killed Joyce all those many years ago.

Becky Douglas (from August 12, 2019 court recording): Doug and I have not spoken about this so I think all this is—

Mark Field (from August 12, 2019 court recording): Is what?

Becky Douglas (from August 12, 2019 court recording): Irrelevant. I’ve already testified—

Mark Field (from August 12, 2019 court recording): I’m sorry, did you just say—

Becky Douglas (from August 12, 2019 court recording): —that we haven’t spoken about it.

Mark Field (from August 12, 2019 court recording): —did you just say it’s irrelevant?

Becky Douglas (from August 12, 2019 court recording): Yes. Because, because I don’t know that Doug. I only know the Doug that I met in 2007.

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: One final point before we move on. During the evidentiary hearing, several of Doug’s witnesses said something like this:

John “Jack” Newton (from August 16, 2019 court recording): And I know on more than one occasion he’s declined an opportunity to be interviewed because he’s concerned that somehow the publicity of this will reach his victim’s family and he feels, in my opinion, a great amount of remorse and is aware of the, at least to some degree, the suffering he’s put them through and doesn’t want to make that worse.

Dave Cawley: Candice Madsen, my colleague at KSL TV who’d received that pamphlet from Doug in the mail, attended parts of the evidentiary hearing. She noted how much older Doug looked compared to his appearance in ’85 or even ’93.

Candice Madsen: And then the other thing that was kind of heartbreaking is, Joyce’s daughter was in that courtroom alone.

Dave Cawley: I asked Kim Salazar about this idea Doug not talking about Joyce was somehow meant to spare her family additional pain.

Kim Salazar: If he were trying to minimize our pain and suffering at this point, we wouldn’t still be on a 23B remand 35 years later. He’d be done. This thing would be done.

Dave Cawley: But it’s far from done.

Kim Salazar: He hasn’t even scratched the surface of the appellate process. We’re still arguing about ineffective assistance of counsel. It’s ridiculous. So he is not trying to spare us anything.

Dave Cawley: Candice wrote a letter of her own to Doug in the fall of 2019.

Candice Madsen: And umm, I just said basically that I was interested in interviewing him. I wanted to bring a producer. … And sent it. I think it was only a paragraph long.

Dave Cawley: Doug’s reply arrived soon after.

Richie Steadman (as Doug Lovell): I appreciate your offer to come to the prison to interview me, but I must decline. When ever I am in the news, I know that it is very upsetting to the family and loved ones of Ms. Yost. Each time I am in court, I believe it is very difficult for them.

Candice Madsen: Well, I wrote back and made it clear that Joyce’s family knew that I had reached out to him and I never heard back.

Dave Cawley: Doug had included another full-color pamphlet containing a different inspirational message about his life in prison published again by Becky Douglas’ charity, Rising Star Outreach.

Candice Madsen: I mean, I believe in redemption and that people in prison should have an opportunity to do good, but I question his motives.

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: I’d been working as a radio news producer at the time of Doug’s 2015 trial. I was aware of it then, but only superficially, as the story of a very old murder which had been solved but was back in court on technicality. It wasn’t until Candice came to me and talked about receiving the letter from Doug that my interest was piqued. Like Candice, I dove into the archives. The stories I found all seemed to focus on Doug. It became clear to me that Joyce’s story — like Susan Powell’s — had not been told. I couldn’t shake the feeling Joyce deserved better. So I spent more than a year tracking down sources, digging up old audio, pouring over court transcripts and searching for a secluded mountain gravesite.

Bill Holthaus: Like I say, the only thing I believe is she’s not where he took us.

Dave Cawley: Yeah.

Bill Holthaus: Got to be somewhere else. I can’t believe that he, I refuse to believe that she doesn’t know where she’s at.

Dave Cawley: Bill Holthaus doesn’t believe cougars or coyotes are to blame for Joyce not being on the mountain below Snowbasin. Neither does former South Ogden police sergeant Terry Carpenter, for that matter.

Terry Carpenter: He went back there how long after he killed her and buried her. He knows exactly where she’s at. He knows exactly where she’s at.

Dave Cawley: Joyce’s son Greg Roberts is likewise skeptical.

Greg Roberts: I mean, it’s such an intense situation I know he could take you right to the spot immediately.

Dave Cawley: But where is that “spot?” Police and prosecutors showed with the Joyce Yost case they could prove a murder without a body. But their inability to bring Joyce home has left some deep scars.

Terry Carpenter: My wife and my two little kids went up one time to Snowbasin area to, on a picnic, if you will. And we’re having lunch and I says ‘why don’t we just walk down this area.’ And my wife looked at me and says (pause) ‘you’re still looking, aren’t you?’ I says ‘yeah, I was just walking.’ So we’ve got our little kids and we’re just walking and I’m looking, y’know and all the sudden my wife yells at me and says ‘Terry, what if we find something?’ We tried. She’s not there.

Dave Cawley: Terry is a Christian. He told me he believes in a resurrection. He expects to see Joyce again.

Terry Carpenter: Someday we’ll know. I look forward to that day and wonder if it’s not something that I missed.

Dave Cawley: But the question of where to find Joyce, if not along the Old Snowbasin Road, isn’t the only one still in need of answers. You’ve heard Terry say in this podcast he believes Doug might have killed other people. There are others who call this is far-fetched. And they may be right. I don’t have firm evidence linking Doug Lovell with Sheree Warren, for instance. But Sheree’s case is, like Joyce Yost’s, long overdue for a fresh look. I’ll have more to say about that in the future.

Kim Salazar told me she believes the discovery of her mother’s remains — if it happens — will be a matter of random chance.

Kim Salazar: I don’t believe that even at the 11th hour, if we ever were to reach the 11th hour, that Doug would be the one that would give us that information and I truly in my heart believe that he won’t. So I do think we’re going to have to get there by some other means.

Dave Cawley: Perhaps, as I tend to suspect, Joyce is not far off the side of the highway that crosses the Monte Cristo Mountains, where a wildlife officer observed Doug and Rhonda together in late 1985. That’s a piece of the puzzle that hardly anyone knew about before this podcast.

Bill Holthaus: I did not know about that at all.

Dave Cawley: I’ll show you some documents and—

Bill Holthaus: That’s, that’s, no that’s interesting.

Dave Cawley: I suggested to Bill Holthaus Joyce might be in one of those aspen groves, buried under branches and leaves, out of sight of the hunters who frequent those hills, waiting for someone to step in the just the right spot. Or maybe not. I made a vague reference to this theory in a letter of my own to Doug Lovell. Doug did not respond.

Candice Madsen: And it’s a pattern with him that, y’know, he doesn’t, y’know, wanna disrespect the family or disrespect Joyce’s memory. You’re disrespecting Joyce by not saying her name. By not remembering her. She’s not, I mean we, she is a person. She was a living person. And it’s just, when you read that letter, I don’t think he got it. And I still don’t think he gets it.

[Ad break]

Dave Cawley: The Utah Supreme Court’s order sending Doug’s appeal back to the trial court for an evidentiary hearing had carried a 90-day deadline. The hearing had not taken place until more than two years later. Judge Michael DiReda had told both sides at the conclusion to submit their proposed findings to him by the end of January, 2020. Doug’s appellate attorney Colleen Coebergh asked for a one-month extension with just days remaining, due to a death in her family. She requested another delay in February, citing “attorney health and workload.” Then, March happened.

Announcer (from March 11, 2020 KSL TV archive): This is breaking news from KSL.

Dave McCann (from March 11, 2020 KSL TV archive): Good evening, we’re following breaking news tonight. Jazz All-Star Rudy Gobert is confirmed to have the Coronavirus, prompting the NBA to suspend the season indefinitely.

Deannie Wimmer (from March 11, 2020 KSL TV archive): This comes as international health officials have declared the coronavirus a pandemic…

Dave Cawley: The Utah Jazz — the state’s premier professional sports team — became a flashpoint in the global spread of Covid-19. Much of American society went into lockdown within hours of that announcement.  A magnitude 5.7 earthquake rattled northern Utah a week later. It dealt damage to the building that houses the Utah State Archives.

Garna Mejia (from March 18, 2020 KSL TV archive): Luckily no one was injured. Officials say damages are primarily cosmetic and the building is closed as authorities continue monitoring the aftershocks.

Dave Cawley: Colleen requested another extension, citing these unforeseeable circumstances. Month by month, delay by delay, the goalposts moved farther into the future. Doug lost touch with his lawyer, as he revealed in a letter to the court that July.

Richie Steadman (as Doug Lovell): I have had no contact with my attorney for some time. I have no idea as to what is going on? Please send me a copy of my court docket for the last 90 days.

Dave Cawley: The Utah Attorney General’s Office submitted its proposed findings that fall. Colleen again asked for more time, prompting another letter from Doug in November.

Richie Steadman (as Doug Lovell): I ask this court to not grant Ms. Coebergh any more extensions. Enough is enough. I am very frustrated.

Dave Cawley: Judge DiReda allowed one final delay, but warned if Colleen didn’t submit her proposed findings by the end of January, 2021 — a full year after the original deadline — he would go ahead and issue his ruling without her input. Doug’s attorney did get her proposed findings in, after the deadline. A few weeks later, at the end of February, Judge DiReda released his conclusions.

The nearly 170-page document went against Doug on every point. In short: trial attorney Sean Young had not acted deficiently. A full point-by-point analysis would take more time than I have, so just a few observations.

First, Judge DiReda said he’d found many of Doug’s witnesses lacked credibility and exhibited bias, brought on by their disappointment at the outcome of the 2015 trial. He said many of them had become “hesitant or outright evasive” when confronted with the facts of Doug’s crimes at the evidentiary hearing.

Second, Judge DiReda found no evidence that Church lawyers had threatened any witnesses or interfered with their testimonies.

Third, the judge said the settlement agreement Sean had signed over Doug’s complaint to the state bar after the trial was “unreliable” and contained “numerous factual inaccuracies.” He placed little, if any, weight on what it’d said.

And fourth, Judge DiReda noted it was Doug’s own insistence on refusing to allow the jury the option of life without parole that caused most of his defense team’s problems. Michael Bouwhuis and Sean Young had repeatedly pressed Doug to reconsider. They’d known the best chance of saving his life was to push for life without parole. By denying them that strategy, Doug had effectively limited the value of his own witnesses.

So where does all this leave us now? Doug’s appeal is now back in the hands of the Utah Supreme Court. If the justices allow the latest death verdict to stand, it won’t mean a quick end to the case. Years, if not decades, of additional appeals will likely follow. These could potentially drag the case into the federal courts. And, if Doug loses every step of the way there, he will still have a chance to beg for commutation from the Utah Board of Pardons and Parole. If, on the other hand, the Utah Supreme Court overturns the death verdict, it will pave the way for yet another trial.

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: The tragedy is, this all could’ve been prevented right from the start, in the summer of 1985. Doug repeatedly slipped through the fingers of police, the courts and jail staff. But it was Joyce who paid the price for those failures. Utah created a state office for victims of crime two years after Joyce’s rape and murder, in part because it recognized people like her had too often been left to fend for themselves.

Gary Scheller: There would have been much more care and safety wrapped around Ms. Yost to prevent this.

Dave Cawley: That’s Gary Scheller, the head of the Utah Office for Victims of Crime.

Gary Scheller: She didn’t have any knowledge. She didn’t have the opportunity to protect herself.

Dave Cawley: In ’94, the year after Doug’s first death sentence, Utah voters ratified a crime victims bill of rights.

Craig Wall (from October 12, 1994 KSL TV archive): Supporters of proposition number one say it’s an important first step in making the court process more victim friendly.

Paul Cassell (from October 12, 1994 KSL TV archive): What we’ve seen with crime victims in the state of Utah is that they’re treated like pieces of evidence. They’re not really given any dignity at all.

Craig Wall (from October 12, 1994 KSL TV archive): The amendment says victims have the right to be treated with fairness, dignity and respect. They also have the right to be notified of important court hearings. But supporters say most importantly, the amendment says victims don’t have to testify at preliminary hearings. Someone else such as a police officer could do that for them.

Dave Cawley: This point strikes me as significant. It’s a bit of a balancing act, because Bill Holthaus told me the entire rape case might have fallen apart in 1985 had Joyce not testified.

Bill Holthaus: I don’t think if she hadn’t been to the prelim and they hadn’t allowed … the Davis County Attorney secretary to read that, he, he might not have been convicted on the rape.

Craig Wall (from October 12, 1994 KSL TV archive): The argument is, if victims don’t have to take the stand it eases some of the trauma. There is some opposition to the amendment from criminal defense attorneys. But the only aspect they’re really against is the one that would eliminate the need for victims to testify at preliminary hearings.

Richard Mauro (from October 12, 1994 KSL TV archive): A police officer testifying from what a third person told him that’s written in a report doesn’t always accurately tell us what happened in the case. And live witness testimony is the best mechanism available for discovering the truth.

Dave Cawley: The amendment passed in spite of that opposition. But Gary Scheller told me these rights, which are now enshrined in Utah’s Constitution, are largely symbolic.

Gary Scheller: They’re important and they’re critical but at the same time they’re just kind of warm and fuzzy and feel good and have no teeth.

Dave Cawley: What did have teeth was a massive federal crime bill passed into law by the U.S. Congress that same year, spearheaded by a senator who is now serving as President of the United States: Joe Biden. Much can — and has — been written about the more controversial provisions of this crime bill in the years since.

Charles Sherrill (from September 13, 1994 KSL TV archive): The legislation provides $8 billion for new prisons, $7 billion for crime prevention and outlaws 19 types of assault weapons.

Bill Clinton (from September 13, 1994 KSL TV archive): We will finally ban these assault weapons from our street that have no purpose other than to kill.

Dave Cawley: That ban on the possession, manufacture and sale of some semi-automatic firearms has since expired.

Charles Sherrill (from September 13, 1994 KSL TV archive): Lots of new cops can soon be hired with funds from the bill but Salt Lake’s mayor admits it might be hard to meet the payroll when federal funding expires.

Deedee Corradini (from September 13, 1994 KSL TV archive): I’m always concerned about that but I’m willing to take that risk. I think we can do it, I’m quite confident we can do it and we will be applying. We need those officers right now.

Dave Cawley: That bulking up of police ranks has come under increasing scrutiny since the rise of the Black Lives Matter movement. The crime bill expanded the death penalty, making many more federal offenses eligible for capital punishment.

Charles Sherrill (from September 13, 1994 KSL TV archive): Fulfilling the President’s promise to get tough on crime will make lots of new work for Utah’s U.S. Attorney.

Scott Matheson (from September 13, 1994 KSL TV archive): We’ve got to get on top of the provisions in this bill very quickly and there are many that could potentially affect our work.

Dave Cawley: But most relevant for the purpose of our story is a portion of that crime bill known as the Violence Against Women Act.

Joe Biden (from August 25, 1994 U.S. Senate recording): We have significant penalties in here to deal with, uh, providing women with some genuine, uh, protection, particularly women who are battered and abused by their spouses, their loved ones quote-unquote, uh, those with whom they’re familiar.

Dave Cawley: Joe Biden, then a Democratic senator from Delaware, had personally authored that part of the package.

Joe Biden (from August 25, 1994 U.S. Senate recording): The only thing in this bill that I wrote from scratch was the Violence Against Women Act. That is a small part of this, maybe that’s why I was so emotionally attached to it.

Dave Cawley: Utah Republican Senator Orrin Hatch had railed against the crime bill, calling it stuffed with pork.

Orrin Hatch (from August 25, 1994 U.S. Senate recording): There are a lot of us who are just plain sick of trying to stop this gravy-sucking hog called the federal government and its liberal friends from eating us alive.

Dave Cawley: But Hatch had supported one small piece — the Violence Against Women Act — even crossing the aisle to co-sponsor that bit with Biden. The Act aimed to close gaps that existed between police, prosecutors, courts and non-profit service providers in their support of victims of domestic abuse, stalking and sexual violence. Its method of doing so came largely in the form of grants: federal money handed off to the states.

Over the past two-and-a-half decades, Violence Against Women Act grants have helped fund domestic violence hotlines and rape crisis centers. They’ve allowed colleges and universities to crack down on stalking and sexual assaults. They’ve provided legal support to survivors. States have come to depend on these funds to provide critical services to women. But those grants are not eternal. They only continue if Congress votes to keep funding them every five years or so. At the time I’m recording this, Violence Against Woman Act funding has lapsed and lawmakers have so far failed to reauthorize it.

Joyce’s experience proves one of the most critical needs for any survivor is information. Think back to that question she asked only hours after her rape: how safe am I?

Joyce Yost (from April 4, 1985 police recording): He, he kept threatening me that if I didn’t cooperate and if I didn’t go with him, it was going to be the end of it for me.

Rob Carpenter (from April 4, 1985 police recording): That’s exactly how he put it, it was just going to be the end of it for you?

Joyce Yost (from April 4, 1985 police recording): Yeah, he was going to rip my vocal cords out here.

Dave Cawley: Joyce’d had no way of tracking Doug Lovell in the weeks and months after his arrest. Was he in jail, out of jail? She didn’t know.

Gary Scheller: For a long time, that was really kind of treated as none of the victim’s business, what we’re doing with this person.

Dave Cawley: Again, that’s Gary Scheller from the Utah Office for Victims of Crime. He told me most states now use a system called VINE to keep people like Joyce informed about their attacker’s status.

Gary Scheller: They can receive a notification if they’re going to be released, if they have a hearing coming up with the Board of Probation and Parole, if they’re moved from one facility, correctional facility to another they get a notification. So they can have some, some piece of mind knowing that they’re at the moment safe.

Dave Cawley: Technology also now allows cops, courts, probation officers and the like to more easily share information across jurisdictional lines. But lapses can and do still happen because people make mistakes, exhibit bias, are overworked or undertrained or just burn out and stop caring.

Joyce had trusted that the system would protect her. But her son Greg Roberts told me she’d also just wanted to move on with her life.

Greg Roberts: She didn’t tell me that she had been raped until a couple months after it happened. And then she really played it down.

Dave Cawley: Joyce’d feared the humiliation of being labeled a victim and having her private life dissected in court, as she’d seen happen on TV. That’s less likely to happen now than it was in ’85, because of state and federal rape shield laws. These laws say defendants cannot use information about an accuser’s past sexual behavior or sexual predisposition as evidence, with only a few narrow exceptions. But while shield laws have strengthened protections in the court of law, one look at social media will show they hold no sway in the court of public opinion.

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: Retired Clearfield police detective Bill Holthaus told me he thinks the chances of Doug ever getting out of prison are low. But maybe that’s not the point.

Bill Holthaus: I think that is the glimmer that he’ll someday get out. I personally believe that he could con people then and he can con people now.

Dave Cawley: Back in episode 8, I described how prison staff moved Doug into maximum security in ’92, after Terry Carpenter served him with the murder charge. Doug had gone from living in a dormitory setting, where he was free to work and interact with others, to spending all but three hours each day locked alone in his cell.

Doug Lovell (from May, 1992 prison phone recording): I’m hoping we can get this straightened out, y’know, pretty quick with the attorney and whatnot. ‘Cause I’d like to go back to work at the sign shop. I hear they’re keeping my job for me, but, y’know, they can’t keep it forever.

Dave Cawley: When Doug wrote to my colleague Candice Madsen in 2019, the envelope showed he’d sent the letter from Uinta 1: the maximum-security cell block at the Utah State Prison that for decades has housed the state’s death row inmates. But something interesting has happened in the time since. The Utah Department of Corrections moved Doug out of max. He’s now living in medium security. I’ve been told he has a job again, working in the prison’s welding shop. Fewer fences now separate him from the outside world.

I was curious why this change, so I asked Corrections Director Brian Nielson to explain it.

Brian Nielson: Those that have a death sentence, they’ve been in very restrictive housing traditionally for a very long time, without the option to do anything else.

Dave Cawley: Brian wouldn’t talk specifically about Doug’s case, but said the department implemented a policy in 2005 called “Last Chance.” He says it allows inmates to earn their way out of max.

Brian Nielson: So they’ve really had to demonstrate that they can function in that setting ahead of time and then we test the waters in small incremental ways to help them get there.

Dave Cawley: But something doesn’t add up, because at the time I’m recording this, the department’s own website says the policy doesn’t apply to death row inmates. The website says the only way off of max for them is to have their convictions overturned or sentences commuted. Which contradicts what Brian told me.

Brian Nielson: We’ve had a couple make it that far but it’s taken, y’know, 13, 14 years to get there.

Dave Cawley: More than a couple. Prison records show of the seven inmates under sentence of death in Utah in June of 2021, only two of them are still in maximum security at the Uinta facility.

Brian Nielson: That risk is going to be inherent in that process and we keep our guard up all the time while looking for opportunities to help people advance.

Dave Cawley: There is logic in allowing inmates a path forward. The vast majority are only in prison temporarily. It’s the goal of the department to help offenders change their ways and avoid coming back once released. Even people serving life without parole sentences might be easier to manage if given an opportunity to better their own situations in some small way. But Utah’s courts have twice said Doug should die for what he did. Which means the state now finds itself in the awkward position of simultaneously arguing in court Doug is a manipulator who’s conned people into supporting his bid for parole, while at the same time granting him additional freedoms based on his ability to convince prison staff and social workers he’s not a threat.

Bill Holthaus: And I know these are professional counselors that he’s with. Y’know, I understand that and they got a lot of training and so do I, but he’s a con artist.

Dave Cawley: I requested a copy of the Last Chance policy under Utah’s public records law. The department refused to provide it, claiming it was “protected” because release could interfere with investigations or audits. Doug Lovell murdered Joyce Yost to keep her from testifying. He tampered with Tom Peters to try and intimidate him into not testifying. He used his last stint on the outside, after convincing the Utah Board of Pardons and Parole he’d changed, to rape and to kill. How does all that balance now against Doug’s good behavior while in prison?

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: Two part question. One: does he have a realistic chance of ever getting out of prison? Two: does he have a realistic chance of ever being put to death?

Bill Holthaus: One: no. Two: also no.

Dave Cawley: Bill Holthaus told me he believes it’s unlikely prosecutors will win a death verdict a third time, if Doug gets yet another trial.

Bill Holthaus: If there’s another jury here, it’s going to be a jury of people who weren’t even born when this happened and they’re not going to be able to relate. … But I think he’ll be convicted again, if we go back to trial. The evidence was good, it’s still good and I have no doubt. But I would be surprised if they once again pursued the death penalty.

Dave Cawley: Utah has not executed a death row inmate since 2010. It hasn’t added someone to death row — excepting Doug’s 2015 return — since 2008. Utah’s Commission on Criminal and Juvenile Justice released a report a few years back that noted public support for the death penalty in the U.S. has waned to its lowest point since 1972. The report cited a Gallup poll which showed death penalty support in the 1990s — when Doug was first sentenced to death — was near 80-percent. As of a few years ago, that had fallen to about 55-percent.

As of 2020, half of the states in the U.S. had abolished the death penalty or placed capital punishment on indefinite hold. Joyce’s family, meantime, remains steadfast in their push to see Doug Lovell die…

Greg Roberts: I don’t see it ever happening.

Dave Cawley: …even though Greg Roberts acknowledges they are swimming against the currents of culture and criminal process.

Greg Roberts: That’s why I just don’t know if they’ll ever carry it out in this case because it’s still got so many years to go.

Randy Salazar: Do I think in my lifetime that I’ll ever see Doug get the, the death penalty. Will it, will it ever go through? No.

Dave Cawley: Kim and Randy Salazar have each been ground down by the decades of never-ending court hearings.

Randy Salazar: And Doug, if you were any kind of man, you’d be dead right now because you’d ask for the death penalty just to be over with.

Dave Cawley: Neither believes Joyce’s killer will ever win parole.

Kim Salazar: Somewhere in his mind he believes he’s going to. I mean, I think he really believes that some day he could walk out of there.

Randy Salazar: The taxpayers have paid so much money for him to be down there and to get lawyers and tell his side of the story … Well, the son of a bitch is guilty. And you sentenced him to death. Get it over with.

Dave Cawley: Meaning Doug Lovell might just remain in limbo until the day he dies of natural causes, as has happened to two other Utah death row inmates in recent years.

Kim Salazar: I think that we have a better chance of him dying of old age in there than we do of him dying by the hand of the state.

Randy Salazar: Do I think that’s fair? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. But do I hope one day that he has to see Joyce again? Hell yeah. And do I hope that Rhonda has to see Joyce again? Hell yeah.

Dave Cawley: I’m not here to advocate for Doug’s life or death. It’s not my intent to take a position on capital punishment. But it’s worth considering the collateral damage of a case like Doug’s. The justice system finds itself struggling to balance the cries for vengeance from people like Joyce’s ex-husband Mel Roberts…

Mel Roberts: I’m probably the one person that could’ve got on an airplane, went up there and shot that son of a bitch, got up and left and got away with it and nobody’d have known the difference. And trust me, I thought of it. I swear to God I thought of it.

Dave Cawley: …against Doug’s civil rights and the pleas for mercy from people like Becky Douglas.

Becky Douglas (from August 12, 2019 court recording): When you talk to someone and they’re crying so hard they can’t talk to you because they feel so bad about what they’ve done, that’s, you say angry, angry with himself. Yes. He was furious with himself over what he had done.

Dave Cawley: It is, perhaps, an impossible balance to strike.

[Scene transition]

Dave Cawley: A bit earlier I talked about how I first came to know Joyce’s story. What I didn’t tell you was the sense of dread I felt at taking on the assignment of telling it. I knew from the outset I would have to contend with a very sensitive topic. I worried about all the mistakes and missteps I might make as a man in this space, trying to share Joyce’s perspective.

It was, in some ways, similar to how I felt in season one, telling the story of Susan Powell’s abusive marriage. The difference is Susan left us a better record of her thoughts, actions and feelings. Much of what I know about Joyce’s life comes only secondhand. Yet the more I’ve learned about Joyce as a person, not just as a name in a news story, the more empathy I’ve gained for what she went through.

Look, I enjoy a place of privilege in society as a white heterosexual man. Strange guys don’t follow me home when I go out to dinner with a friend. I’ve never worried that a woman might grab me by the throat and tear my clothes off outside my own house. This privilege can breed complacency. It can make me blind to what Joyce and so many other women experience every day. And that is injustice.

This season bears a subtitle — Justice for Joyce — and I have to be honest: I don’t love it. It seems trite to me. It doesn’t capture the way I felt the first time I heard Joyce’s voice in that tape recording with Bill Holthaus just hours after her rape. It can’t convey how I hurt for her when I listen to her voice cracking saying the words “I have been raped.” How I still break down and cry when she asks a police officer “how safe am I?”

“Justice for Joyce” reduces what she went through to a tagline. And I hate that. I voiced this complaint and was challenged to come up with something better. And I couldn’t do it.

Bill Holthaus: There is no justice for Joyce. Let’s preface it by saying that. When you kill somebody, you kill somebody. There’s no such thing. It’s justice for what he did to Joyce.

Dave Cawley: Joyce hadn’t wanted to go to detective Bill Holthaus after Doug Lovell followed her home, raped her, kidnapped her and raped her again. She’d simply wanted what so many other people who experience unexpected trauma want: a return to normalcy and a restoration of safety. Joyce would have been justified if she’d chosen to stay silent. But she spoke up because she felt a responsibility to help protect whomever Doug might’ve targeted next. And for a brief moment it seemed the system might work. Bill believed Joyce. Doug landed in jail. She spoke her truth in court.

Then, all the mechanisms of law and civil society that were meant to protect her failed. The people who were closest to Doug repeatedly rewarded him — the handsome white guy from a good Christian family — with the benefit of the doubt, even after he’d proved he didn’t deserve it. They chose to believe him when he said he’d been falsely accused, or at least decided to look the other way.

Some are still doing so even today, dissociating the Doug they know from the one who chose to kill Joyce Yost.

Joyce paid for her courage with her life. So what message does that send to every other woman who’s ever been groped, catcalled, stalked, assaulted or raped and feared coming forward? Imagine the tragedy of a Joyce who’d lived by keeping the rape a secret, spending her entire life plagued by undeserved guilt and self-doubt, wondering how many others that man had gone on to terrorize.

How many men have allowed — still allow — their privilege to blind them to what so many women endure in silence? I don’t want to be one of them.